The Reign of the New, Improved Irken Empire
by SaintHeartwing
Summary: Dib had no idea his new substitute teacher was an Irken alien, and not only that, the new head of the Irken Empire! Now with the entire population of Earth being shrunk and made into slaves and pets, Dib is at the mercy of the Irken leader Senior, who promises to be a kind lord of Earth. Can Dib get his world back? Will he even want to? Contains micro, macro, vore elements.
1. The New, Improved Irken Empire

As he made his way to school, a broad smirk curled at the the substitute teacher's lips as he dragged a covered red wagon behind him. Today was a special day. Today...was show and tell, and he intended to bring something very SPECIAL for the occasion. He knew Dib would get a kick out of it. He was sure of that.

Mr. Senior was the new substitute teacher that had been assigned to Dib's class since Ms. Bitters had run off with her ex-boyfriend, who had popped up in school and picked her up in his big, strong tentacles, right in front of the entire class. They'd all gaped in amazement, Dib most of all, his amber/golden eyes bulging behind his glasses, mouth hanging open, the faintly scythe-like waft of black hair atop his head going erect as he squeaked in shock, Ms. Bitters letting out an almost squeaky cry of "PUDDIN'!" as she hopped into her beloved's embrace.

"Let's never fight again, darling." her beloved had croaked out in return, caressing her body deeply as the class stared and stared, Zim keeling over in sheer shock from the smell alone as Ms. Bitters had been carried out the door, into a fancy black carriage, probably off to live somewhere under the sea...under the seaaaa!

Needless to say this meant they needed a substitute. So Mr. Senior had been chosen, a very nice, green-eyed young twenty-something who enjoyed wearing a nice white tuxedo and had a very kindly smile. He often referred to himself as "their safety net", and Dib had to agree...he was learning FAR more under the gentle tutelage of Senior than he ever had under Ms. Bitters. Plus, Mr. Senior gave out Pixie Stix candy and Lik-a-Maids if you got "A's" on your tests.

Zim of course had reapplied himself even MORE, desperate to get these nice taste treats. Dib had no idea WHY Irkens loved that kind of candy so much, but he didn't question it. Perhaps, though, he should have, for as he walked down the sidewalk on the other end of the road, he saw Mr. Senior and looked confusedly at what he was bringing along with him...a red wagon, a grey tarp had been draped over it to conceal the odd device.

With a pleased, quiet chuckle, Mr. Senior couldn't help but feel his anticipation growing by the minute! He had created a fantastic device, and as Dib stared in confusion and a bit of worry, he saw Mr. Senior bringing it up the stairs and down the hallway, into the classroom. Dib scratched his head, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end.

"With Ms. Bitters in charge, your show and tells could be rather...varied, from what I've heard? You once did a PLAY, in fact?" Mr. Senior inquired as he stood by the red wagon, Zim raising a nonexistent eyebrow, dressed in his usual poor disguise of fake contact lenses and a black wig, still wearing his usual Invader's attire, from the reddish/maroon "dress" up top, the black pants, the gloves and boots, also of black...it was a miracle nobody realized this no-nosed, no-ears, zipper-toothed, green-skinned "kid" wasn't a kid at all.

Dib blushed at this. "I did quite a lovely job with the play, actually. I planned a lot of it out. Probably would have worked great...if Zim hadn't been taken off into space that one time." He added, Zim pointing a clawed digit at him and screaming "YOU LIE", making Dib roll his eyes. "So, uh...what did you bring for show and tell, sir? Usually the teacher doesn't bring anything into the class."

"I'm glad you asked, Dib. I brought a machine I made all by myself for show-and-tell. Behold!"

Dib's substitute teacher straightened up and reached over, pulling off the tarp covering his shrinking machine; it was an odd contraption, with numerous buttons, springs, and gears sticking out at every other part of the unusual device, faintly humming and whirring as Dib stared, and the class blinked in confusion, and Zim went noticably pale...at the oddly purple color scheme.

It couldn't be. It COULDN'T.

"...what is it...?" Dib quietly asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he scrutinized the machine, already doubtful that a hunk of junk like that would be able to function properly.

"A shrinking machine! Don't let the appearance fool you, it works very well."

Dib chuckled a bit. "Really? You...you made a SHRINKING machine...?" Dib asked, staring in confusion. "...why?"

"Well, to shrink people, naturally!" Senior said with a bit of a goofy grin. "I mean, what's the point of a shrinking machine if you don't SHRINK people with it? Here! I'll show you.." He muttered, only for a slightly mischevious grin began to curl at his lips; he stepped away from the machine as it began to shake, mechanical groans escaping from the odd device; until a beam of green light shot out from the machine, striking a stunned Zim in the chest.

"OH CRAP!" Zim cried out as the students in the room gasped unanimously in shock, expecting the worst for their classmate; only for confusion to cross each student's face as Zim began to change size, being bathed in a green light, Dib gaping in alarm, mouth agape in shock as Zim quivered and shook and spasmed about and then...

BOOP! He was now roughly the size of a mouse, and Senior calmly walked over to the door, closing it and locking it before getting out...a distinctly Irken communicator. "It works. You can get to work now." He remarked, Dib's eyes bulging wide as Senior gave Dib a little smile, and then pressed a button on his belt.

Now what stood before Dib was a green-clothed communications officer of the Irken race. He had brilliant green eyes, black boots and gloves, a green chest and pants that were slightly "bell-bottom" esque, rather large indeed and split open at the end to allow room for the boots. He had slightly darker shoulder patches of green and the clothing on his arms were the same shade, with a "communicator patch" on both sides of his head, a metallic sort of pair of "headphones" that were silver and green, much like the Irken PAK on his back. He also had spiky antannae, spikes rose up and down the black stands popping out of his head, unlike Zim, who just had normal black strands with a single black triangular jut at the top, and he bowed a bit as the class and Dib watched him pluck up Zim and easily pull off the hat and contacts.

"It took a couple of tests on the Massive to ensure the device was fully functional. I had Skoodge help me. We tested it with things like books, an apple, then we tested it on GIR!" He told Zim with a chuckle. "We had a lot of fun that night! Good thing you were too busy experimenting on chickens and shooting them into space again to realize what we were up to upstairs yesterday evening."

"I WONDERED why GIR was being so quiet!" Zim managed to squeak out, flailing around, stuck in the black-gloved/clawed grip of Senior as Dib quivered in fear.

"Y-You're a...a..."

"Irken, yes. My name really IS Senior, I'm the Head, the SENIOR Communications Officer on the Massive, the flagship dreadnought of the Irken Armada. And the current head of the Irken race!"

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Zim squeaked. "Tallests Red and Purple wouldn't allow that!"

"Funny thing." Senior said with a little chuckle. "I knew the guys were faking it."

"...what." Zim said, his voice now monotone, his eyes turning slightly dead.

"I had WONDERED how they got to have such an odd growth spurt. Then I caught them in bed...and out of that "power armor" they use. Funny thing, Zim. They're actually barely taller than you. The armor just makes them look larger, it's like wearing a mascot suit. I caught them on tape, too. So I gave them a choice, since we were all friends together with Spork and Miyuki and Skoodge and you back in training." Senior offered. "They step down...and pass the title of leadership to me, or I'd send the pictures to the Control Brains and broadcast their real forms throughout the Empire. They'd not only be laughingstocks, they'd be executed for faking tallness. You know how harsh the laws are about that. And since I was the next-tallest Irken on the ship, well..."

He shrugged. "I'm now head of the Irken Empire! And you, Zim, well...I need you out of the way so you can't interfere."

With that, mouth opening wide to reveal slightly purple gums and his deep, red wormlike tongue, he tossed Zim right onto his tongue and closed his mouth, Zim falling on down inside his jaws. He tasted over Zim a bit with playful little licks, murring a bit before he gave a swallow, with the silken, soft insides of Senior's maw offering a slippery start to Zim's journey into the larger Irken's body.

Everyone else watched in shock, seeing Zim becoming a tiny bulge going down this alien being's throat, slinking on down before being deposited within the stomach region of the Irken's superorgan. The interior was soft and squishy, the organs pumping gently around in a fairly rhythmic, soft fashion as Senior patted his gut, and then turned to Dib as he walked back by the machine. "Don't worry, Dib. I don't intend to actually hurt any of you."

"You...just...ate him..." Dib murmured quietly, eyes fearful as he suddenly heard the sound of people crying out in shock and terror, and looked outside. There were ships landing outside, tall and red and purple and all of Irken design, many green-skinned, armored aliens coming out...with shrinking machines of their own, going inside the school, inside homes.

"We're going to be taking over your world, Dib. But I'm much nicer than Zim, I don't want to actually hurt anyone. We just can't have any of you fighting back while we get set up." Senior explained as he patted the shrinking machine and activated it again, as a wide array of green light bathed over ALL the students, and now everyone but Senior found themselves tinier, smaller, and now all bunched together...with the entire school now having the same fate done to them. "I'll give you a choice, Dib, because I know how smart you are. If you WILLINGLY let me swallow you, I'll unshrink you later, and let you join me in helping the colonization efforts. This way you'll be able to make sure your race doesn't come to undue harm. Sound fair?"

Dib gulped nervously. He wanted to run. He wanted to bolt, or scratch or kick or bite. But...

...but he was very small, very much outnumbered now that that an entire Armada seemed to be invading, and he didn't want to endanger anyone else. He hung his head and nodded. "...I...give." He murmured.

For now, anyway, he thought inwardly as Senior warmly smiled, and knelt down, patting him over the head with astonishing gentleness.

"Don't worry, Dib. I always keep my word. And I'll take very good care of your race. We're not all like Zim. A lot of us are really nice when you get to know us." He then tenderly plucked Dib up by the back of his shirt and gave Dib another gentle smile before he parted his jaws, tongue rolling over his teeth like a panting dog. Dib gulped fearfully before he was dropped in, now within deep darkness, in warmth and wetness as the tongue softly explored over him.

Senior's tongue danced and swirled over the tiny body of Dib, coiling around him a bit, tickling him, feeling like a snake, Dib quivering in fear before, at last, Senior tilted his head back; the little tiny shrunken human now going down headfirst toward the gaping, dark throat and dangling uvula. Dib "eeped", the big gulp sucking him into the gaping throat. The tight flesh wrapped around his head and shoulders somewhat uncomfortably; a second gulp sent the rest of the human down the constricting tunnel.

Much like Zim, Dib's miniscule form created a bulge outside Senior's throat. As it traveled smoothly down, the alien traced the wriggling bulge with his clawed finger, moaning as it finally disappeared past his collarbone. Soon Dib, like Zim, was stuck inside of the large and cavernous stomach as Zim pointed angrily at him. "This is YOUR fault!"

"How is this MY fault?!" Dib yelled back, being pressed up against the muscular stomach walls of Senior as they softly massaged over him, Senior's heartbeat echoing in his ears as Zim smacked his chest uselessly with his little fists.

"You didn't recognize he was an Irken, you did not stop him!"

"YOU didn't realize he was one either, shouldn't you have recognized your own kind?!" Dib retorted.

"He was wearing a disguise! I didn't realize-"

"Then you admit you think I'm smarter than you!" Dib said with a grin, smirking despite himself. "Because YOU couldn't recognize him, but you thought I could, so that means you must think I'm more perceptive than you."

"Yes...no! I mean... **GAHHH**!" Zim let go of Dib and began angrily stomping around the gut as Senior placed a hand over his belly and patted it, feeling the little Dib bulge.

"Mmmm. You tasted very, very good, Dib. Like a sweet little bit of candy mixed with a fine schlordogh steak." He complimented. "Don't worry, I promise I'll let you out eventually. But first thing's first, little humans." He turned to the others, smiling warmly at them, some of them now crying. Seeing this, Senior frowned a bit and knelt down, geeeently brushing away their tears with a claw. "Oh, there, there. Please listen. I'm going to give you all a deal. If you willingly let me eat you now, no more homework for the rest of your school year. And I'll give you A's for the semester." He offered with a smile. "Sound good?"

All of them seemed to immediately perk up at this. Hey. No homework AND A's for the semester? Bring on the belly! Senior chuckled as they all began lining up, the more cooperative students now at the front of the class, a few LESS comfortable ones like Torque at the back. He gently picked up Sara first, giving her a little kiss on the forehead. "Thank you for being so obedient, Sara. I'm surprised you're not afraid."

"I look upon this moment as a Daniel example. I am he who was in the Lion's den. I must be strong." she reasoned.

"That's a very admirable sentiment." He offered. "I really like Earthen religions. Christianity has the best music, though. LOVE all the Christmas carols." He added with a wink. "You're all gonna love what we'll do for that. I'm thinking...powdered sugar hills to ski down instead of snow." With that, he slid her into his waiting jaws, suckling on her a bit, savoring her miniscule body. Senior was astonished at how good humans tasted, but he didn't want to feel like he was violating them, so he tilted his head back to swallow twice, successfully gulping the student down - and of course, tracing the path her wriggling bulge made down his neck until it finally disappeared past his collarbone.

They did not have to fear being digested. Irkens didn't have to eat that much, their PAKs regulated so much of their frames. They mostly just ate for fun. As such, food could sit in their guts for weeks before digestion finally set in. They'd all be safe, Senior promised each of his little tiny meals, now guzzling down three students, almost cramming them into his jaws. It was a BIT hard to get all of them down, so instead he went back to carefully swallowing them down carefully one by one, in hopes of easing the pressure on his throat.

This certainly helped get them down, and made the experience much better as a whole for the Irken; he was thankfully able to enjoy himself. With each student he sent down to his now crammed belly, the plumper it got; and as he slurped up the last few students into his dripping jaws, eventually swallowing the last one, Senior placed a hand over his now rather large stomach, feeling the little squirmy bulges against his flesh. "Mmmm. Good little humans. Thank you. Get comfy, you'll be in your new homes soon."

Every wriggle was giving him a delightful feeling of satisfaction as he licked the flavor of humans from his lips and made his way to the desk, sitting in the chair and sighing in delight. All the students were slightly packed together, squirming about a bit in the soft texture of the alien belly, Senior looking up as the door opened, seeing a tubby, short alien walking in and grinning. Ah, he knew him anywhere, dear Skoodge! The short, fat, ruby/maroon-eyed Irken alien's belly was even bigger now than usual, stuffed to the brim with the faculty...and Gaz, whom Skoodge had saved for last whilst other Irkens nonchalantly made their way through the halls with their own big guts.

Skoodge grinned, patting his big, fat belly, Senior hearing the little muffled voices of his trapped prey; and oh, how it clearly satisfied Skoodge as he chuckled a bit. "They taste wonderful, don't they?"

"Especially Gaz. Nice and spicy!" Skoodge remarked cheerily.

"Just remember, we're letting them out in the containment wing on the Massive. Make sure the field's set up."

"Of course!" Skoodge said. "You're sure about..." He raised an invisible eyebrow. "I mean...Dib's a nice kid, really. He's not bad as far as humans go, but...can you really trust him?"

"I trust him to do the right thing, yes." Senior insisted. "He'll go along with it because at the end of the day, despite his faults, he's a good person. Good men know their limitations." He said with a smile, giving his bloated belly another tender pat before rising up out of the desk, heading for the doorway.

...

...

...

...Dib awoke, finding himself still shrunken, but now he was in an enormous hall within some kind of ship, as curving, steely grey tubes interwove over his head, and capsules hung on the wall, strange liquid pulsating within, bubbles bobbling up and down. Hundreds of people, the entire town of Pittsburgh, perhaps, was crammed inside, all shrunken, and within a faintly glistening, glowing, soft off-white field as Gaz stood nearby, clinging to her father, eyes bulging with fear whilst her Dad examined the field that kept them from going out of the hall. "Fascinating!" Their tall father intoned, his eyes wide behind his goggles, his gloved hands poking the field. "A force field. Some kind of nanite poly-carbonate interwoven with proton-based energy! Fascinating!"

"Dad, this is not the time!" Gaz yelled, her purple hair frazzled, the skull necklace she wore jingling about as she shook with fear, her own amber/golden eyes bulging wide. "I was STUFFED INTO SOMEONE'S STOMACH!"

"Well, we all were." Dib said, looking up, and seeing...oh WOW. Zim was now tied up and squirming uselessly, dangling around none other than Invader TAK's neck as she cheekily poked over him a bit. She had those distinct lashes, the deep purple eyes, a caped, purplish outfit with black boots and gloves, and that soft British accent that made Dib quiver a bit as she stared up at her, her form behind a large steely elevated circle at the center of the field, too tall for anyone to reach, as someone descended down from above...Senior once again!

"Calm yourselves. We will inform you of what will happen to you soon." She said, giving Zim another poke as the tiny form kept angrily squirming about, a ball gag in his mouth to keep him from biting her.

"Lovely, you're all awake." Senior said, clasping his gloved, clawed hands together. "I'm Senior, the new ruler of the Irken Empire, and Tak here is now my head manager of the Armada. At the moment, we're moving from city to city, shrinking all you lovely humans down. We expect to move about...a third of your race off the planet and off to Irk, and another third off to other colony planets. The remaining third will stay here, and you all here in THIS lovely city shall be included in that third." Senior said with a little smile as he lowered the green communications officer mask he had on that only covered his mouth region, almost like a bandit.

"What exactly do you want with us?" Professor Membrane inquired, as Senior nodded, hearing others murmuring assent.

"Simple. You, Professor Membrane, and your family, are quiet intelligent. I'm having you and other chosen humans assist me with managing this world. We'll give you access to the best Irken technology, the best tech in the galaxy, all to help you make this world cleaner, more vibrant and more habitable. No more pollution or worries over the environment, we'll cut down on crime, and we'll ensure you all are well fed, and your every need is provided for. In return, little humans, you will have but one purpose."

He smiled warmly. "You will have to do what we ask of you. We promise you will not be tortured or killed or genuinely harmed, but you'll essentially be our pets and our slaves. A comfortable existence in exchange for your freedom. Understand?"

All assembled nervously murmured and muttered amongst each other, but at long last, they all finally got out quiet agreements and assents, Senior warmly smiling. "Good, good! We'll have our SIR units bring you to your homes and your new masters. Membrane family, you'll be with me, of course." He said, extending a gloved hand as Professor Membrane, Dib and Gaz made their way through the crowd, Senior kneeling down and gently picking them up, holding them to his chest. The texture of his shirt was oddly warm and soft as he then hovered up, up, into the air, his Jet-PAK taking them up through a hole in the field as it began to fade, many robotic, big-eyed little servants entering the room to escort the humans remaining behind away.

Soon, Dib, Gaz and Professor Membrane were now inside of what had previously been the bedroom of the Tallest, put on a large circular table as various plates of food were laid out, Senior drinking a delightful milkshake as the Membrane family nervously ate as best they could after Senior unshrank them with a small remote shrinking machine he had. Gaz seemed to have adjusted quickly...it helped that Senior had brought her a bacon burger with fries, whilst Professor Membrane ate some nice sushi, and Dib quietly chewed on noodles.

"Chinese food is VERY nice. I found out quite quickly we Irkens could eat noodle dishes. We'll get to work on shipping out ramen and noodles and other pasta dishes to our colonies and to Irk." Senior offered to Dib. "We'll have whole families devoted to making Earthen cooking dishes just like we're having whole families devoted to Earthen upkeep."

"Yeah...yeah..." Dib mumbled, Senior blinking a bit.

"Now, now, Dib. I've not treated you poorly." He offered, sounding genuinely sad. "I'm not like Zim. I don't want to hurt humans. You all just need a bit of guidance. I don't like that it has to be forced on you, but it's better this way than what Red or Purple or Zim would do. At least I'll make sure you're all treated quite well. And if you'd like, I'll introduce you to some of our alien allies."

"I didn't know your race HAD allies." Dib remarked dryly as Senior chuckled.

"When I informed Vort and other planets that Red and Purple were kicked out and they could have their planets back and more, they were VERY happy to work with us Irkens again. They also want to try some of your delightful human dishes. Vortians especially seem to love your race's baked goods. They went wild over cinnamon buns." Senior confessed. "It was pretty funny to watch Lard Nar stuffing his face with hot cross buns whilst Red and Purple were chained to a chair, and getting increasing cross as I made them watch the delegation eat through all their private candy stocks. We've now made them our head janitors."

"I HATE THIS. I _HATE_ THIS. I _HATE_ THIS!" Dib heard the voice of Tallest Purple moan out loud as he turned, seeing Purple, now MUCH shorter, with tinier arms and legs, barely taller than Zim and wearing an ordinary t-shirt that read "Janitor" on the front being forced to push along a mop, Red carrying a bucket behind him, grumbling in irritation.

"You'll like working for me, Dib." Senior insisted with a big smile. "I promise. We're a lot alike. We both want what's best for our kind, we've both got big hearts, and we're the only ones with strong moral compasses in an ocean idiotic, immoral jerks. I learned that quickly from the essays you gave me. We've much in common indeed." He said, brushing his spiky antannae back.

"Then you'll know I don't like being...used." Dib murmured quietly.

"No. You don't. But you endure it anyway because despite how selfish you can be, at the end of the day...other people's lives matter more. So you just do what you can and try to hold on, even if it sucks...right?" Senior offered, Dib cringing. "...you and your family will have very comfy rooms down the hall, first three doors on your right. Get some sleep. You've had a long day." He added comfortingly.

"I **trusted** you." Dib mumbled as he looked deep into Senior's eyes with an accusatory stare, his undertone wounded. "I really liked you. You were different."

"I AM different. And you can still trust me." Senior said with a little smile, Dib struck by how...sad his enslaver seemed to be. How mournful and how...

HUMAN his big green eyes were.

And he found himself hating himself for wishing what Senior said was true. That the Irken really did care about him.

 **Author's Note:**

 **This story's a bit unusual. I'm going to be experimental and try out some unusual things, all from a perspective I've not done before: in which Dib's kind of lost at the beginning. Can Dib get back his planet? At the end of the day, will he even want to, for perhaps Senior and the new, improved Irkens will end up being benevolent masters after all? Join me on this ride! And be sure to leave a comment and review, I adore them.**


	2. The Kindness of One's Captors

Dib slowly awoke, letting out a yawn, and then stretched his arms as he slid his way out of bed, and headed for the nearby bathroom. He looked down at the sink's countertop and let out a wry chuckle. Senior had been kind enough to bring his toothbrush from home. They may have been evil invading aliens, but at least they weren't INCONSIDERATE. Plucking it up, he got to work on brushing his teeth and making himself up, hearing a knock come to the door.

"Dib, are you awake?"

"Yeah...I'm up." Dib said loudly in return to Senior's question.

"Good, good. We're going to be going to your father's laboratory today, to start work on some pollution reduction technology and a little side-project for us Irkens. Then we'll need to swing by the hospital. I'd like you to meet some friends of mine who I think you'll find very helpful to your new jobs."

"Sure, sure."

Dib rolled his eyes. He was trying not to let the cheery, friendly tone of his "new master" reach him. He didn't want to try and be friends. Not anymore. He still felt betrayed, still felt indignant, and he wanted to keep staying that way, to keep focused, and to try to find a way to bring all these Irkens down. He'd just have to wait for now. But he had a feeling he'd find something he could use at the laboratory. If they were giving him and his family advanced tech in the name of "improving the planet", well...

He'd be improving it alright. He'd improve it very easily by cooking up an anti-Irken weapon as soon as he could.

Soon he was exiting the room, and Senior was out there, waiting for him, green eyes warmly glittering back as he led Dib down the hall and into the main bedroom of the Tallest, where, once more, a big meal was set up for them and Senior as he munched away on "Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs".

"You ever try these?" He inquired, holding up a spoon of the little, orb-shaped chocolate cereal as Gaz gave the tiniest of smiles, and Dib chuckled a bit.

"You gotta try them with SUGAR sprinkled on. They're sort of bland without that, sugar brings out the real taste." Dib found himself saying, as he reached over and prepared to grip a small little container OF sugar, hesitating as he realized how easily the words had risen to his lips.

"It's alright, I'll get it." Senior said, plucking it up and sprinkling sugar over his bowl before taking a big slurping bite of a large orange. "What's a true shame is that we Irkens can't eat bacon. Well, not yet, anyway. We can't properly digest bacon and other types of meats, but we could taste it and lick it like a lollipop." He added.

Gaz immediately pushed away the plate of bacon SHE had, now raising another eyebrow up, wondering if he'd sucked on the whole thing like a popsicle. Senior laughed a bit, shaking his head. "I haven't done it to anything on this table, I assure you. It took us a while to develop a proper PAK resistance to meat in that regard, we're still working on having our bodies fully enjoy meat. I'll let you meet the genius behind that when we get to the laboratory, he's the one who helped us develop our bodies so we could swallow you humans without having to worry about burning up inside."

"I'm so honored." Dib grunted, as Professor Membrane looked over at Senior, who was about to try the cereal. Matthew Membrane, having once **tried** his children's cereal in one of the rare meals they'd eat together as a family many moons ago, knew what was about to happen. The same thing that had happened when he first gave sugar-sprinkled, Chocolate-Frosted-Sugar-Bombs a try. He wisely ducked, covering up his head as Gaz and Dib smirked a bit at each other, and rested their heads on their hands as Senior's jaws opened wide.

CHOMP.

And then...

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH! _SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!_ " He screamed out, clutching at his throat, howling, barreling around the room, antennae now popping up high over his head as he spun around and around in the bedroom, Dib and Gaz laughing uproariously at all this, Professor Membrane flinching. Senior was now literally bouncing off the walls from a sugar high, the entire room shaking, flowers in vases crashing over, paintings and pictures flopping to the floor, cracks breaking open here and there. At last, Senior flopped onto the bed at the end of the room, moaning, slowly rising up and rapidly opening and closing his laps, going "Aaaaa, aaaaa", tongue sticking out, as if trying to hack up the aftertaste lingering in his jaws.

"Yeah, it takes a bit of getting used to."

"I...I..." Senior murmured, his eyes suddenly going wide. "...I think I want another scoop."

"Yep! That's what they all say." Gaz said sagely as Senior made his way back to the table before noticing something had fallen down by what was now his new desk. He gasped, racing over to it, picking it up as Dib, who was in the right position to see from behind, saw it was of a rather younger-looking Senior, who was standing alongside...that was Zim! Zim, and Skoodge, and CLEARLY Tallests Red and Purple when they were much younger, but also two other Irkens, one who had slightly small, deep-set yellow eyes who looked a bit skittish, the other the only woman in the frame, who had curly antannae, a slightly regal figure, and beautiful blue eyes that were the color of a fine blue spring sky. Even by human standards, she seemed lovely, the eyes alone drew you in, combined with that adorable little Mona Lisa smile.

"Who's she? And the other Irken?" Dib asked, Senior seeing Dib was staring at it and he sighed, bringing it over, letting Dib examine the photograph.

"That's the former Tallest. Well, all of them, really. Former Tallest Spork's the yellow-eyed one, he's the one who looks like he's terrified of everything. And that..." He pointed a clawed digit at the blue-eyed lady. "That's Almighty Tallest Miyuki. We were all friends in training, all stationed together growing up and learning what we'd best be good at, how we could best serve the empire. Our PAKs give us a sort of...baseline personality, all the potential is in here." He jabbed back at the metallic "backpack" on his back.

"Uh huh, so you take that training to discover what you'd be best at from the traits your PAK's given you? Like...say...if it gave you good hand-eye coordination, you could find out if you're better suited for the battlefield or as a pilot?"

"Yes! And if you're more personable and more friendly, you'd make for a good medic, or a communications officer." Senior remarked with a smile.

"I take it you passed THAT bar with flying colors." Dib said as he passed the photo to Gaz and Professor Membrane, Membrane looking oddly intrigued by the blue-eyed Irken lady. She seemed...so familiar.

"I actually got my highest scores in marksmanship." Senior confessed to Dib as he snapped his digits, and a PAK leg swiftly shot out, and speared a banana with pinpoint accuracy. He began unpeeling it as he looked at Dib, and his expression turned somber. "I chose to go into the communications field even though I was great at shooting people."

"Why?"

"Because I realized how **good** I was at shooting people." Senior quietly intoned, Dib staring into his eyes for what seemed to be a long time as the communications officer turned new head of the Irken Empire munched on his banana. At last, he took the photo back, sighing slightly as he swallowed the last of the banana. "Miyuki was a great Tallest, you know. She believed in diplomacy, and building up trade deals and she was so intelligent and...she was nice. Really nice." He murmured, feeling over the spot where her face was.

"Did you love her?" Professor Membrane inquired.

"Oh, n-no like THAT!" Senior said, now blushing a bit. "Not like that. Spork was like my slightly pain-in-the-ass brother and Miyuki was like a sister, really. I loved her like a sister"

"Wouldn't know anything about that!" Dib mumbled under his breath with a wry smile.

Gaz tossed a grapefruit at his head.

Within a few hours, they were all being led out of the ship, after it had touched down outside of Membrane Labs, an enormous, towering structure of pearly white, with the Membrane Logo emblazoned on the front over many shimmering, glittering doors. Windows lined up and down the tall building, the sunlight softly reflected in them and casting rainbow rays of reflection all around the grounds as they walked across the parking lot and into the double doors that were flanked by various well-armed Irken Elite guards, one in particular having deep red attire to match her darkly crimson eyes.

Dib shuddered. She had VERY thick antannae, thicker than Zim's ever was, almost as wide as an arm ini length, and curved like scythes, almost like his hair! She had on a big metal face mask over the lower half of her mouth much like the cloth mask over Senior's mouth, only it looked intimidating and scary, wombined with her creepy-looking frontal metal extra "PAK" on the front of her form, strapped across her chest in thick metal bands with a large toolkit belt, a small cape, and with thick gauntlets that looked like they could tear your head off in one swipe.

More terrifying still was that there were people clearly trapped in the metal case on the front of her large frame, seeing through a big slot at the front. They were uselessly banging on the insides, trying in vain to get out, and Dib shuddered as she stared at him, then at the shrunken humans inside. "They've been very, very naughty. So they are being punished." The female Elite Guard said darkly, giving it a rap with her knuckles. "I don't tolerate people trying to hurt my men. They're lucky I didn't break their arms after they tried to make a break for it."

"Can they even breathe in there?"

"Oh yes. For now. If they try anything funny though, I'll turn the air off until they pass out. And then turn it back on. And maybe over...and over...and over." said the female guard, her tone deep and with barely-disguised ferocity as Dib quivered a bit, realizing that would probably be HIS fate if they tried to run away.

"Well, um...keep up the good work, Dite." said Senior, turning away and leading his human "pets" down a long hallway, past various pictures that had been taken of far-off galaxies, clusters and nebulas.

"These photographs are very lovely." He complimented Professor Membrane, who calmly nodded.

"I took them myself with my telescope camera. Something of a hobby of mine when I am not hard at work on SCIENCE!" He proclaimed, holding a finger dramatically in the air as Senior nodded.

"We'll give you some more to hang up. We've been to other parts of the universe that would make these pictures look like that creepy "Jesus Monkey" portrait." He laughed. "Like MACARONI art compared to the Mona Lisas we'll be showing you. But first..."

They reached a large, sweeping set of double doors, and walked inside. There were quite a few other humans inside, and many Irkens as well, three for every human, quite a few having big, fat, engorged bellies that they occasionally patted and rubbed over, Dib knowing they were savoring the trapped human meals within. At the head of a large table was an Irken with dark blue eyes who was wearing a labcoat, goggles of aquamarine and teal over his forehead as he turned to glance at them, a PAK hovering over his clawed, bare hands and a big grin on his face.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Oh. You can make things float."

"Yes, a few Irkens like me have special abilities. If we're not careful, we'd get labeled as dangerous "Defectives"." said the Irken in a very slight tinny, high-pitched voice. He had square-shaped antannae, it was rather odd, and a lighter shade of green skin than the "average" Irken did. "It's a freak result of PAK irregularity, but not for long, not if my project works out."

"This is Trivvik, but everyone calls him Trik. He's working on that "side project" I mentioned." Senior explained, Trik giving a bow as he floated the PAK over to his other hand.

"We're going to develop brand new PAKs for every single Irken, and we'd like your help with it, Professor Membrane. We want to make PAKs that won't be external, but will merge more properly with the body. To have this "organic shell" truly be our real forms. If my hypothesis is correct, in the days of old, Irkens with powers were far more prevalent, but the Control Brains created PAKs not only to try and regulate our behavior but basically tamp down on such abilities to ensure what THEY wanted as leaders remained on top...the Tallest. Time we fixed all that. No more picking leaders cuz they're Tall, no more obsessive desires for snacks and gluttony and greed! Back to the way it was."

"And Dib, you and Gaz can help Trik's human with our pollution reduction project." Senior added, as he gestured over to an African American human, a young girl who had slightly soft black hair, deep brown eyes, and deeper still brown skin. She was wearing a labcoat as well, and was walking towards Trik, holding up a snazzy metal clipboard.

"I think I've figured out how we can begin to reduce the amount of carbon footprint in the air through the careful application of select chemicals...if I'm right. But I'll need to properly test it out and-oh!" She saw the Membrane family and smiled. "Oh, well, how are you all?" She asked, her voice slightly scratchy, yet her face beaming and friendly as she shook their hands eagerly. "I'm Faith. You must be the people I'm working with. Dib and Gaz and Prof. Membrane himself, right? I've heard so much about you from Trik."

"They'll be giving us a lot of help. If you want, you can show them what you have in your workroom." Trik offered. "If, ah, that's alright?"

"Of course." Senior said. "I've got to go check in on our scouting parties down in Australia and Asia. There's a few dozen or so pockets of resistance, I need to make sure the troops aren't actually harming any of the humans. I don't want needless deaths." He quietly intoned, heading for a nearby office as Faith led them into an office of her own, with large computer screens showing off various read-outs of the atmosphere, several consoles hooked up to tubes and odd mechanical devices, a big table where blueprints were stretched out, and a soda machine not too far away.

She approached the soda machine, pressing the button for a "Diet Poopsi Cola" as Gaz and Dib looked at her. "You want anything?"

"Um...no, I'm fine."

"I'll take **his** then." Gaz said with a grin.

Passing the soda out, Faith raised an eyebrow. "You two got Senior, huh? Pretty lucky, getting the new boss as your new "boss"." She remarked. "I got lucky too, Trik is really nice, and he cares a lot about trying to clean up the planet and to fix up the Irkens. He's never ever hurt me."

"How long have you been with him?" Dib asked, raising an eyebrow up, folding his arms over his chest as Gaz slurped her Diet Poopsi, looking at the blueprints on the table, examining them.

"He found me in Florida. Well...I found him, actually. He was hiding from the rain, and terrified. I was out on the street, struggling to manage being near-broke and community college and basically living out of dumpsters anyway." She sighed. "He was in a pretty good disguise, I just thought he was some egghead with a skin condition that made him allergic to rain."

"I take it he figured out PASTE would cover his skin well?" Dib asked quietly. "That's what Zim did."

"Oh, yeah, I know about Zim! We all do!" Faith chuckled. "Congrats on keeping him at bay for so long, everyone stationed here can't stop talking about you three, you're all so famous. And yeah, we eventually figured out paste would do it, and he helped me with my work in school until the summer came along and then he revealed who he really was to me. I was pretty scared at first, but he was really nice and said he'd take good care of me and get me a proper education to help "bring out the potential of my mind" if I helped him. And so now I'm in a proper college program! He had M.I.T teachers spared just to make sure I got put on track for a Master's!" Faith told them with a beaming smile, showing off some braces on her teeth.

"Well that's considerate." Dib remarked.

"Trik said he wants to work on getting rid of the pollution issue plaguing the air, then the water first. And I think a proper application of Irken chemical compounds could do that. Though I've noticed something...kind of _odd_."

"What?" Dib asked as Gaz suddenly spoke up.

"What's all this stuff about the sun?"

"Oh, you saw that too?"

Faith led Dib over to the blueprints on the table, pointing at one that showed off a theoretical design for ridding the air of heavy duty pollution. "I was working on something to kill off every bit of smog and the like from the skies. I noticed Trik had added some notes on the solar radiation the Earth experiences. Look."

She pointed down at what Trik had evidently scribbled. It read "Examine level of yellow sun radiation, compare to Irk, further tests required"."

"Irk doesn't have a yellow sun. So I began to wonder if maybe...well, maybe the sun might damage Irkens if there wasn't so much pollution in the air that so heavily obscures its radiation. I'm not sure. I need to check to see what sort of solar rays **their** planet gets. For all I know, it may enhance them like Superman!"

"Yeah, yeah, cuz under a red sun, Superman's powerless, but under a YELLOW sun, he's super strong and can fly and-" Dib began to say, his eyes beaming, the inner fanboy within coming out. "Oh WOW. Can you imagine an entire planet full of flying Irkens with heat vision and freeze breath? YIKES."

"Yeah, that might be what Trik wants. I need to do more research." Faith insisted. "Can you help me with that? Maybe...charm Senior into letting you see Irk, collect samples from their sun's rays?"

"We can try." Dib offered. "I THINK I could guilt-trip him into it if I try hard enough!"

"Why Dib, that's so sneaky, underhand and downright diabolical to play off his feelings of guilt towards betraying you." Gaz remarked aloud, rubbing her chin. "...could it be you're not such a total loser after all?"

"Why Gaz, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" Dib said with a beaming smile and a bit of a sly wink.

"Don't get used to it. You're just **one** notch above these guys. That only puts you at notch _**one**_."

...

...

...

...three hours later, it was time for them to head over to the hospital down the street, and Senior was soon leading them through the pearly, gleaming white halls of the Main Street's biggest and brightest medical center. The floors had been cleaned up and now shone very nicely, SIR robots scrubbing away at the walls and floors to ensure everything was spic and span. There was soft muzak filling the air, gentle instrumentals that wafted through the halls as Senior led them towards a maternity wing, into a set of grey double doors, past glassy shelves loaded up with cheery and friendly-looking puppets, plushies, teddy bears and children's toys, all designed to set the mood.

The lighting was soft and warm as they approached the secretarial desk, a mahogany semicircle where Dib and Gaz noticed that several white-robed Irkens wearing the same kind of clothes were looking over metal clipboards of their own. Their bare, clawed hands were pointing at various parts of the clipboard, speaking about different patients, all of them having necklaces with a green, round, orb-like gem at the end, one of them with a slightly frilly set of black antannae looking up.

He had distinctly pink eyes and he smiled at them all, standing up. "Oh, hello, hello! How good to see you, Senior!" He said, Senior smiling back. "Are you hear for Jayd?"

"Is our Chief Medic here, then?" Senior inquired, looking a bit surprised. "I'm confused, Feyr. thought he was still on Massive, tending to Red and Purple."

Indeed, Red and Purple now had various awful bandages and arm wraps around their frame, as none other than Bob the former Service Drone grinned at the two who were stuck in a medical wing bed, their "new boss" giving them a sneer. "I'm rather ashamed of you two. I mean, falling down in your own cleaning solution piles. Such a rookie mistake! That's why you always have to set up those big yellow "Watch Your Step Signs"."

The two grumbled in irritation, through gritted teeth, "Yes, boss."

"You're lucky I AM your boss and that I'm keeping you hard at work here! You ever leave the Massive, you'd be shot for impersonating a Taller. I'm so considerate, giving you two actual jobs instead of...oh...strapping you to a chair and launching you into a sun. So to show you there's absolutely NO hard feelings about the fact you badly botched the setup for dinner tonight, I'm going to let you order some delicious human Chinese food."

Tallest Red and Purple looked at each other, hopeful expressions on their faces...until Bob then brought them back to Earth.

"But of course, any food and drink you order is coming out of your paychecks."

"... _but we're only getting five monies a year_..." Purple squeaked out, Red's eyes bulging wide.

Bob began to laugh insanely.

"He left early to check on the patients here and make sure everyone's sticking to the agreed-on guidelines for the humans." Feyr remarked. "He's with good ol' Darth at the moment. They're tending to the mothers-to-be. One's going to give birth any hour now. The problem is that there's...complications."

"Oh my. Which room?"

"A113."

Senior nodded, bringing Dib and Gaz along, running as fast as he could down the left-hand side of the maternity wing as they approached room A110, A111, A112...A113. Sure enough, there, unconscious, was a red-haired human woman who was VERY far along and clearly about to pop. A shrinking machine had been wheeled in, and was being tended to, along with the pregnant woman, by two slightly darker-skinned Irkens that almost had a faint olive color to their frames.

The first had a big, red medical symbol cross on the front, with dark grey and black armor, spiky antannae similar to Senior's, and deep black eyes with dark grey pupils. The second was wearing the white robes that Dib and Gaz had seen from before, though his antennae was balled, rather unusual to be sure, and they saw he was not wearing any shoes, and had deep green eyes. Indeed, both their eyes emanated a kind of unusual warmth and softness that Dib was rather surprised to see.

"It's all set." said the medic, whom Dib guessed was Jayd. "Oh, hello." He saw the three entering the room and smiled. "Good to see you, Senior. These are your two humans? I'm Jayd, head chief medic now of the entire Irken Empire, I imagine." he remarked, Dib noticing the gauntlets he wore had tubes connected to the top, that snaked back into his PAK, odd green glimmering little things bouncing around within. "I'm going to help Darithil deliver this woman's child."

"Darithil?" Gaz asked, raising an eyebrow in the air. "Sounds kinda ELFISH."

"Ah, well, Miyuki named me that. She designed the lowly test tube baby you see before you using huge batches of her own DNA, though I got many recessive genes...and I didn't get her gender. Still, getting the name she wanted was good enough, though everyone calls me Darth." Darth said, his voice faintly ethereal, dark, almost golden in tone as Jayd flicked on the shrinking machine, aiming the nozzle at the woman. She began to shrink down in size, soon as big as a doll, and Darth tenderly picked her up, waving his clawed hand in the air as she hovered into his palm.

"Ohhhh, another psychic?" Gaz asked.

 _"Quite!"_

Gaz gasped, Dib's mouth agape. Darth's mouth hadn't opened, but they'd heard his voice all the same as he tapped the side of his head with his free hand. "I'm more than just a telekinetic. The shrinking process will not only allow me greater power over her body, but her mind. I need to ensure she's as calm as possible so I can get the child out, it's rather tied up and ensnared in its own umbilical cord. I'm going to pyshically untangle it.

"Let's step back and give him some room." Senior urged, all of them moving to the far side of the room as Darth laid on the bed with the woman as she began to moan, her eyes fluttering open as Darth gently put the flat of a single clawed digit to her cheek.

"Michelle...wake up, Michelle."

The redhead's eyes fluttered open and she whimpered piteously in fear, stunned into terror at the enormous being that now held her in his grasp, but then he stroked her again. "Michelle, your child is trapped in you. It's wrapped in its umbilical cord and I need to get it out. I want you to take deep breaths, and look at my eyes. Look deep."

Michelle's chest rose and fell rapidly as she clung slightly to her patient gown, glancing down at her large, pregnant belly, then at his enormous green eyes.

"You like the color green, don't you? It's a warm, soft color. Its the color of life. Your child's eyes. Will they be green?"

"I...I hope so. I...hope he looks like his daddy." Michelle quietly squeaked out.

"Think of soft, green, rolling hills. Think of the way the wind blows through the leaves of the trees. Gentle zephyrs against your face." Darth intoned in that same dark, yet tender tone, as Dib saw Michelle's panting, heaving breaths were coming less raggedly now. Less harsh, less rasping, her pupils no longer tiny pinpricks, but now wider and more entranced. "Think of your baby's eyes, Michelle. Think of how beautiful they'll look. Beautiful glimmering emerald green."

"...yes...just...just like emeralds..." Michelle murmrued. "I love emeralds...my husband gave me an emerald and gold wedding ring..."

"It's a _beautiful_ ring." Darth crooned, as his free hand stroked carefully over her pregnant belly, and it faintly quivered and shook. "A beautiful, _beautiful_ ring for a _beautiful_ woman, who's going to give birth to a _beautiful_ baby girl, aren't you?"

"Yes. So...so beautiful..." Michelle moaned out. "And...and you have such _beautiful_ eyes." She realized aloud, her voice a faintly awed, hushed whisper, her own pupils bulging at the gaze he held upon her, unblinking, unwavering, as Dib and Gaz looked astounded at all this, Dib especially. He could tell he was watching a master at work. Darth was very clearly hypnotizing her somehow with his psychic powers, and she'd fallen hook, line and sinker into the depths of his eyes.

"Your baby's going to come out now, Michelle. Close your eyes...and when I count to three, open them, and you'll see your baby's face." He cooed, Michelle slowly closing her eyes as he gently passed a single claw over her belly as, sure enough, a faint, wet sound rang through the air, and Dib gasped in amazement. The child was sliding out, and being hovered out of her womb, into the air, as the umbilical cord's tangling draped behind it, being cut loose and flopping down. "One...two...three."

Michelle opened her eyes as Darth hovered the child into her arms, her mouth agape as it slowly opened its own eyes, and looked deep into her face. "Mah-ma." It gurgled out, as she held it to her chest, and stroked deeply over its head, rocking it tenderly back and forth as Darth warmly smiled down at them, then up at the watchers in his room, especially Dib.

"There is great power in being so large, as you can see. It is so easy to dominate. Being such a towering, imposing figure means you can show great cruelty. But it also means you can show amazing tenderness." He added with a soft smile. "It takes greater strength to hold back, to lift up one who's fallen, to stroke and caress and to love than to lash out, to knock down, to crush beneath one's feet. In **restraint** , there is strength."

He carefully lifted her and her now-slumbering infant up, closer to his face. Tilting his head back, he eased her down, past the white teeth, the waiting tongue softly throbbing beneath. He eased them down onto his tongue, and Dib was astonished that she didn't panic. Michelle and the child just slid on down, downn into the waiting, warm wet throat of the psychic Irken that was devouring them.

 _"You'll be safe in me. No harm will befall you."_

With a powerful pull they slid down into the tunnel of Darth's throat. The rippling tunnel softly throbbed around them, the walls undulating and pulsing all about. It was a deep, heavy warmth inside the body, yet Michelle wasn't afraid. She felt a tight ring of flesh pressing up against her feet, then it opened up to welcome her and her child inside.

She fell down into a world of deep softness and warmth, into tender flesh that was slightly moving. It would be hard to stand in the stomach, the ground was faintly rolling like waves. So she laid down with her child, lying against a soft wall that flexed adn relaxed, pushing in, rolling, massaging her with amazing tenderness as she felt the desire to rest and sleep.

"She will be fine within me. I will take good care of her." Darth explained to Dib and Gaz, patting his belly. "Being so small allows me to not only easily get the children out if there are complications, but I can tend to MANY humans at once. I'll be visiting several others who might have needed caesarean section deliveries to ensure their children come out safely. Being a psychic has its benefits." He intoned.

"It's amazing how well you got her to calm down. Getting her to focus on the eyes was a stroke of genius. She was completely enthralled!" Dib admitted as Darth sighed, and hung his head.

"I feel rather guilty over that. I do not like lying to others."

"Huh?"

"Well...I've not got green eyes..."

He reached up, and before their eyes, he pressed into his eye sockets, first the left, then the right, and the color began to drain away, his eyes now turning milky white, as Gaz realized before Dib could-

"You're BLIND?"

"Yes. Quite." Darth intoned. "I can psyhically "see" through others, of course, and using my surroundings I'm able to figure out where to go, but I can't see on my own. I have to "see" with my power."

"That makes what you did even MORE impressive!" Gaz laughed. "I mean... **wow**!"

"Why didn't you just tell the woman...?" Dib began to say before Darth gave the boy an invisible raised eyebrow of his own.

"How many creatures do you know have white eyes and are _not_ creepy and disturbing to look at?"

"...okay, fair enough." Dib remarked quietly, rubbing the back of his neck as Darth sighed and rubbed his belly a little bit more.

"I change my eye color to each patient as needed." The psychic intoned. "It allows me to connect with them. To bond with them. There's a truth inside the lie. Even though I'm not outwardly being open, the feelings I'm sharing, they are real. I do care for everyone that I tend to. I want to help them. But it is often necessary to...keep some things hidden to do that. I hope you'll understand that."

He smiled warmly at Dib, who felt a shudder rise up in his spine. Though the Irken's expression was kindly, though his words were comforting and his tone was trying to be gentle...those eyes.

They burrowed into your soul. And Dib wasn't sure he'd sleep well tonight. Nor did he, for he kept thinking about what Darth had said. About truth being hidden beneath a faint layer of lie, and about Senior. Senior had lied about who he was...and yet, it seemed, despite WHAT he was, he did care.

But did that matter? Did it really matter? Dib wanted his world freed. He had to do something. And he knew just where to start. Tomorrow, he'd ask Senior to take him to Irk. Purely for scientific purposes, of course. Just for study, for a baseline comparison of it and Earth so as to better advance the projects. He hoped it would work.

But then a horrible thought came to him. Darth had been a psychic, and he'd tapped into their minds. What if he'd read Dib and Gaz's mind and learned they were trying to figure out a way to get rid of the Irkens? He'd surely tell Senior, wouldn't he?

Poor Dib did not sleep well that night. Oh not. He did not sleep well at all.


	3. Dib Does Irk, Part 1

Sitting on the Massive's bridge, Dib looked about at the Irkens placed at every position, all of them looking right over at Dib...and Senior. Senior was tapping his head back and forth, humming loudly as he sat in the captain's chair, or rather, what had been Tallest Red's chair, with Dib in what had been Tallest Purple's. Senior was clearly listening to Christmas music, Dib could hear it coming out of the attached "communicator patches" on the side of the green-eyed Irken's head.

The former communications officer was cheerily humming along, the Massive all done up in beautiful Christmas lights of green, red and white, a few Christmas wreaths hanging from various doors, tinsel, decorations and popcorn rings draped over a large christmas tree that stood to the far right where the bathroom was, and, of course...the candy canes. Everyone was slurping on some candy canes, even Dib munched away on one as Senior's humming turned into full on singing.

 _ **"City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style! In the air there's a feeling of Christmaaaaaaas! Children laughing, people passing, meeting smile after smile! And on every street corner you heaaaaaar!"**_

"Oh geez, he's getting started. Batten down the hatches." announced a female communications officer with distinctly yellow attire as a jetpack-spouting orange-attired guard grinned in delight, an adorable little, tongue-sticking-out bouncy ball face bounced around, attached to a black, springy line at the top of her jetpack. She flicked it about as it bounced back and forth, her skin rather pale, just like the female communications officer, who lowered the lower facial mask she had and gave the guard a wink.

"Ol Senior is at it again." said the guard as the face ball on the jetpack then actually changed to an "eyeroll" expression as she looked at Dib. "He does this every Christmas, he LOVES Christmas songs. We get them up the wazoo every December."

"How on Earth do you Irkens even KNOW about Christmas?" Dib asked as Senior kept singing to himself, and the guard and the others on the bridge looked at each other, chuckling a bit as a service drone carrying a big steely plate filled with candy canes and gingerbread cookies walked over, deep purple eyes gazing at Dib. He wore a simple outfit, it was much like Zim's, in truth. Red/maroon with pinkish arms, dark pants, black gloves and boots.

"Ol' "Door-Maht" can tell you." said the guard as Maht sighed, leading Dib out of the bridge, putting the tray of christmas treats down as they approached Senior's room way at the end of the hall, opening it up as Dib gasped. The entire room had been done up in Christmas spirit even more than the bridge! The walls had been painted green and red and white, the carpets were candy-cane colored, there were several little trees on his desks and clothes bureau, tinsel draped over his pictures and paintings, mistletoe hanging above a mirror in the corner and, of course...the Christmas music. A holly jolly dancing Santa Claus was shaking his groove thing, and singing Christmas carols merrily atop one of the desks.

"There's a huge black market on Irk." Maht remarked, walking over to the dancing Santa Claus doll as he held it up, Santa singing out "Have A Holly Jolly Christmas" as his purple eyes gazed into Dib's own golden/amber ones. "Senior introduced it to us on our first week stationed at the Massive. He took us there when we were refilling the Massive's supplies of snacks and oil. We only had a few hours...but we used it wisely and stocked up on so much stuff from various planets. Some of it from Vort, like specialty furniture, others came from Arcadia, they make excellent electronics. But the EARTHEN market...well..."

"How did all this Earthen stuff get there?" Dib asked, amazed as Maht smiled a bit.

"Well, Tak and Skoodge had lived on Earth for quite some time. Especially Tak. After all, she'd replaced a man's daughter to take control of the "Deelishus Weenie" corporation, and she needed some money to help support her cause. So she sold off the girl's music collection. From what Senior said, he was the first customer, and he paid her VERY handsomely because he was always on the lookout for new music. That, and...well, he kind of...got into Earthling comics."

"Comics?" Dib walked over to a bookcase that reached all the way up to the ceiling. It was loaded up with comic book trade paperbacks, from DC to Marvel to Image and beyond! Some were indie hits like "Persepolis" or "Bone", but most of them were superhero ones, especially ones about Superman, and the Justice League, and Captain America and Green Lantern.

"The girl Tak replaced had a love of the "Green Lantern" books starring this...artist type named Kyle Rayner. Senior fell in love with it. He found Earthling comics and music so...creative. So he paid for more, and spread it to others and they started to like it too. Soon Tak and Skoodge were selling anything they could from Earth to Irk on the black market to help support themselves on the planet, and...well..." Maht shrugged. "Then WE got into it. We got introduced to the glory of Christmas. Senior gives us presents, we got to pig out on great candy we'd never had before, and we felt...well...warm. Warm and fuzzy and all nice inside."

He put a gloved hand on his chest as Dib looked through the many Green Lantern comics Senior had, noticing a few of them had Tak's writing inscribed within. "I knew you'd like this, you're a sucker for big green do-gooders." He read aloud. "...huh. No wonder he wanted to come take over Earth, all his favorite stuff is there."

"Well, that's part of it." Maht remarked.

Suddenly a thought came to Dib. An ugly, worrisome thought. "You Irkens aren't...trying to get me to like Senior more just so I'll turn on my kind and...I dunno, go gay with him, are you? Like, you aren't trying to get me to see him as more "human" and more like me than my own people so I'll turn on the Earth and let him blow it up or something, right?" he asked, wheeling around, eyes narrowing. "Is this all some plot to try and get me enchanted into Senior's charms so I'll do anything he wants, even slaughtering my own people?"

"...he's four hundred and twenty one years old, happily married, and even had a kid." Maht said, raising a nonexistent eyebrow up. "Not ONLY would that be beyond gross, that doesn't even begin to make sense. You'd never turn on the Earth and go gay with a member of the very race that's been tormenting you for years, even if that member WAS very nice and sweet and "dreamy"." He added, waving his gloved hands in the air. "You're too determined to keep Earth safe and still to distrusting of us. And if we blew up your home, you'd sooner rip our throats out with your teeth than join us." The drone added, tilting his head a bit.

Dib nodded. "Yeah, yeah." He admitted sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head and sat down on Senior's bed, Maht sitting next to him.

"We heard about how dedicated you were to fighting off Zim for so long, how devoted you are to protecting Earth, to the point of obsession. It's why Tak fancied you. Why Senior wanted you by his side. Why Skoodge respects you. You'd never toss your principles OR your people in the garbage. That's a sign of integrity, Dib. At the end of the day, you're a remarkably selfless, compassionate kid. That's why Senior wanted you to join him in all this."

Now Dib felt a pang of guilt rise up in him. He tried to surpress it, to beat it back down. They would be at Irk in a few days time, the hyperdrive warp engine was revving up, a soft humming filling up the Massive that signaled it had turned on. He had to get a sample of Irk's atmosphere, it's solar radiation, it's soil, all to find out Irken weaknesses and to exploit them, and no matter how NICE Senior was, no matter how kindly the new head of the Empire was trying to be towards him and his family and his race...he had to free his planet. Even IF it was a benevolent one, the Irkens were still imposing a tyranny and he had to stop it.

"If you want anything from the kitchen, let me know. I've got to check in on the bathrooms. Sometimes Red and Purple "forget" to do them to try and get back at us. It's their petty way of revenge. Evidently they're more perceptive than we thought, they picked up on how we'd get back at them after all. I can only hope they haven't figured out how we were the ones putting all that salt in their soda. If they ever found that out, we'd never drink safely again." Maht mused aloud, exiting the room as Dib noticed a computer console on Senior's desk, approaching it.

It was unlocked, and various file folders showed off, sure enough, video recordings of the bridge, complete with notes. Dib flicked through them, a lot of them seemed to be criticisms of how Tallests Red and Purple were handling something. Or rather, NOT handling it, but delegating the hard work to the workers on the bridge, and passing the buck. The ship under attack? Get someone ELSE to handle defenses. The structural integrity was compromised in the East Wing? Well, THEY didn't sleep over there, so it could wait. So what if the bathrooms were flooding? They had their own private bathrooms, the others could just hold it in.

"Whatcha gotta do is let a little out, let it dry...let a little out, let it dry." Maht informed an aggravated-looking service drone whom he was patting on the back. "I learned that the first week here. Tallests Red and Purple wouldn't let me use the bathroom for a whole day because I mixed up their drink orders." He intoned sadly as the drone began to openly sob, Maht leading him off the bridge, Red and Purple sniggering as Senior tossed them a very dirty look.

But the next clip showed only Senior on the bridge, and he was speaking to someone over a communications channel, and not just anyone, but, of all people, Tak.

"Yes, I'm aware of your file, Tak, and how you didn't get to take the test. I know about..." He pinched the space between his eyes and deeply sighed. "Look, I know all the prefix codes to the ships, alright? Yes. Yes, I COULD send you codes, I could help you get control of a ship and help you escape, but I can't, alright? There's no IRKEN ships that pass by there, so any prefix codes I send you would be worthless. They use Vortian ships, alright? I don't know the codes for that, I..."

"You have to get me off of this planet!" Tak insisted angrily. "RIGHT NOW! I deserve to be an Invader! I had my chance stolen from me by Zim's idiocy!"

"You're not the only one who lost important things because of Zim being a moron!" Senior said, his temper slightly rising in the recording as his spiky antennae flattened against his head. "Miyuki and Spork are GONE because of him! They were the closest things I had to family, Tak! My two best friends all through training and the best boss I ever had! The best Tallest Irk ever knew, and she's DEAD cuz of that idiot with an ego the size of a weather balloon! So don't act like you're the only one who's suffered because of him!"

"I was locked in a room for DAYS! Do you know what I had to eat to stay alive?!" Tak growled angrily back, as Dib saw Senior's temper slip another notch.

"What do you want me to do, Tak?" He asked, his voice now slightly cold, and accusatory. None of the warmth, the amiableness that Dib usually heard was there. "I can't just send you a ship. Even taking this call could get me tossed out an airlock if the Tallest found out. I'm here to be a MACHINE. To process calls over and over. To deny people what they want if the Tallest don't care enough. And even then, if they say its alright, and we can give someone what they need, it's not because THEY care. Its because it might help the Empire. An Empire that shows just as little mercy to its allies and subjects as its enemies."

Tak now nervously gulped. There was an edge building in Senior's voice as one gloved, clawed hand gripped the bridge desk he stood on tightly, so tightly that his claws dug into the metal.

"I stare at a computer for 9 hours a day, talking to people I want to, but can't help. Listening to the final, begging, screaming cries of Irkens being fired on, desperate for aid. Hearing them pleading for assistance, for a rescue. Listening to Wardens describing how much FUN they're having, torturing the prisoners on Vort, even though they could just get one of our psychic consulars down there to do interrogations, but oh NO! No, they want the filthy goaty heads to bleed because its FUN to fuck around with the inferior little breeders! And I sit alone, in my bed, just WISHING I had someone to talk to about all this, but I don't even have THAT hollow pleasure because Zim's big blob monster ATE the shoulder I had to cry on and the Tallest won't even let me CALL Skoodge! In fact, whenever I bring him up, they say they'll only let me go check on him to find out how he died, cuz they got a BET going on! Red says he probably got eaten alive by the Slaughtering Rat People while Purple says he probably drowned in the planet's many rivers! This is my life, Tak, do you understand? **THIS! IS! MY! LIFE!**"

And with that, he PUNCHED through the screen he'd been talking to Tak through, screaming in aggravation, slamming his fist into the chunky, sparking bit of metal over and over until, at long last, he slowly slid away from the desk, shook the pieces of computer off his gloved hand...and headed out of sight of the camera that was recording him.

"...thank god the Tallest never saw this." Dib mumbled to himself. He probably would have been tossed out an airlock for sure.

...

...

...

...at long last, the Massive had reached Irk, and Dib was treated to a full view of the planet and its odd alien landscape. The world had long stretches of flat ground, with patches of thick red, earthen tones over gritty, faintly desert-esque terrain. In addition to that, huge chunks of the planet had deeply vibrant, tight-cut orange grass that stretched for miles and miles over the planet, going off into a seemingly infinite horizon. There were few valleys and mountains, though there was, however, an enormous capitol city in the center of the planet.

Tall skyscrapers rose up, deep purple and red in color, Senior letting out a "CHUH" sound of aggravation, rolling his green eyes as he strolled along the steely sidewalk. There were enormous domed structures that Dib could see into the glassy roofs of, which contained, from the looks of it, nothing but food. Snacks, snacks of a hundred different brands, some from Earth, even!

Other buildings were currently in the middle of being closed, with big sticker tape, ugly and yellow, draped over it that read "Closed" again and again. Various very tiny little Irken babies barely bigger than a doll were being led out of a few of them by kindly-looking, white-robed consulars, all of whom had the same little necklaces that Dib had seen on the psychic, Darth. They were helping the Irken tykes along, a few hovering them about their heads as if they were moons and the consular was a mother planet, others carrying them in their arms as tenderly as possible, and a few had simply gotten little shopping carts and put the babes within.

"Faster, faster!" One of them cried out, standing atop one of his little baby compatriot's shoulders, banging his tiny fist on the cart as the blue-eyed consular rolled her eyes and pushed the cart a bit faster, Senior leading Dib towards what was very clearly one of the ONLY parks in the city. A very small park barely larger than his school's playground, but luckily for them, Tak was there as well, nonchalantly holding up her hand, showing off a very nice glimmering golden ring on it.

She was showing off this fine jewelry to about a dozen little Irken children, all of whom were listening in as she relayed her tale, and it took a moment, as the sun of Irk bathed down upon them all in an orange sky, for Dib to realize...

Zim. Zim was now stuck on the golden ring like he was an overgrown jewel, uselessly squirming, held in place by little golden clawlike bands that tightly gripped him and held him to the ring. He glowered darkly up at Dib and Senior as Tak smiled at them. "I've got some time off so I thought I'd tell these little smeets about the most pathetic Irken in our race."

"How goes your glorious new job as the manager of the best military force in the galaxy?" Senior asked with a little chuckle as Tak gave him a bit of a playful salute.

"I've been having all the troops running hard training drills, we've shut down the smeet factories to ensure there's no more test tube children, we're making sure Irkens cut down on their PAK use to get them adjusted to a future where they'll BE no more PAKs, and we're changing the power grid to make better use of solar and wind power over nuclear energy. In fact, the capitol's the last place with such a facility." Tak insisted. "We're going back to the way it ought to be, nice and natural and replenishible and utterly-self-sufficient."

"Good. Dib wanted to get samples of our soil and air and the sunshine Irk is blessed with for some testing. He's said he's worried that cleaning up the environment of Earth might mean an increase in negative solar radiation that will severely damage Irken flesh. So he wants a baseline from our planet to compare to his own."

"Oh yes, good idea, we wouldn't want to clean the atmosphere only to find that doing so would cook us alive." Tak remarked calmly as she flexed her clawed digits some more, Zim angrily squirming around and hissing at them.

"You will let Zim go immediately, you filthy _kisgaree_!" He snarled at Tak.

"What part of "you're stuck there" didn't register in your big, swollen, egotistical head?" Tak inquired with a laugh as the smeets around them giggled, a few poking Zim, making him snap his teeth at them as an idea then came to Tak and she gave Dib a look. "You know, Dib...I've an idea. Zim's caused you almost as much pain as me. Why don't YOU have some fun with him? In fact, I've actually begun to get...BORED with torturing Zim like this." She admitted, waving the Zim-ring about, tossing it up and down in the air, making Zim groan and gasp out in pain.

"OOOF! OOOGH! OWWW!" He yelled out, flopping into her palm over and over every time she tossed him up.

"Here." She caaarefully peeled his tiny frame out and gave him to Dib, who plucked Zim up by the back of his shirt, looking Zim over as Zim flailed his tiny arms about in vain. "We Irkens have had our PAKs adjusted, we can eat humans without fear of really harming them. But, well...if an IRKEN was shrunk, nothing they could do. Especially not Zim, nothing on his PAK is working but the life support, so..." She evilly smirked. "If you want, Dib...go ahead. Get rid of Zim once and for all. Wouldn't it be fitting to have your greatest enemy eaten?"

Zim turned pale. His eyes bulged. "Y-You wouldn't dare! You wouldn't **dare** eat me!"

"Oooh, you would HATE that, wouldn't you, Zim? Eaten by the very being you tried to kill for years? By a filthy huuuuuuman." She laughed in her distinct, British accented voice, throwing her head back and cackling. "How deliciously ironic! Emphasis on delicious. Go on, Dib...help yourself."

Dib stared down at Zim's now small, shivering, shuddering frame. It would be so...so easy. No PAK legs to jab at him. No shield to defend the Irken from stomach acids. This time there'd be no escape. And Dib's "finishing move" really WOULD be a finishing move.

He lifted Zim up, his body quivering. The collection of the samples could wait. Nobody here knew why he really wanted them. They were totally bought into the idea he just wanted to help the Irkens, he could collect the samples ANYTIME, when would he get a chance like this? And after all, after being swallowed by an Irken himself, maybe it was time HE do the swallowing. Time HE dominated Zim for once, fully, truly had Zim's life in his hands.

It'd be so...so easy.

He found his tongue slurping over Zim's tiny frame. He tasted so good. Like a lovely little lime hard candy with a faintly sizzling aftertone that danced on his tongue like pop rocks. Dib could hear his heart thumping in his ears, feel his blood racing. Why not do it? Why not? After EVERYTHING Zim had done?

...so easy. So _simple_. And Zim would be gone forever. He couldn't say Zim didn't _deserve_ it...

...Dib's mouth opened.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Now herein...lies the rub. Zim's fate is up to you, dear readers. Should Zim be eaten? Or should Dib spare him? Totally up to you. I've put a poll up on my Profile, it's at the top of the page. Your choice decides whether or not Zim survives or doesn't. Vote however you'd like, I'll incorporate the results in the next update within a week or two. Probably once the Christmas holiday ends. In the meantime...Happy Holidays!**


	4. Dib Does Irk, Part 2

**Author's Note: Well, the votes have spoken! And remember, don't forget to leave a review! We Fanfic writers adore getting reviews from our audience, really, a LOT.**

Dib found his tongue slurping over Zim's tiny frame. He tasted so good. Like a lovely little lime hard candy with a faintly sizzling aftertone that danced on his tongue like pop rocks. Dib could hear his heart thumping in his ears, feel his blood racing. Why not do it? Why not? After EVERYTHING Zim had done?

...so easy. So simple. And Zim would be gone forever. He couldn't say Zim didn't deserve it...

...Dib's mouth opened...

He leaned in close to Zim...

And he saw Zim's eyes clench tightly shut, his body quaking and shivering, filled with fear, and then...

"Remember this, Zim. A _human_ saved your life." Dib whispered right in Zim's ear, or lack thereof. And with that, he handed Zim to Senior, who smiled softly at this, putting Zim into a little, capsule-like pouch on the side of his belt. The green-eyed Irken patted Dib on the shoulder, giving him a warm smile.

"I had a feeling you'd do the right thing." He told Dib. "Despite the temptation. You're a damn decent Dib." He remarked with a little chuckle.

"Awwww!" A bunch of the smeets all groaned a bit, pouting slightly. They, evidently, had wanted Zim to get a little comeuppance in the form of being sent down to Dib' colon.

"I'LL eat him!" One of them remarked, holding his tiny little hand up, antannae eagerly bobbing up and down.

"Okay." Senior remarked nonchalantly, plucking Zim out of the capsule on his belt.

"WHAT?!" Zim shrieked out.

"Just kidding." the communications officer chuckled, popping him back in. "You kids are all too young for junk food anyway." Dib laughed at this, then headed over to a big patch of grassy ground, Senior joining him as he knelt down and pulled out a containment capsule which sprang forth from his PAK. He handed the glassy, square-like capsule to Dib, who scooped up big chunks of natural Irken soil and put it into the little jar, Senior nodding at him.

"Will this be sufficient for a soil test?"

"Oh, I think so." Dib said with a nod. "Now I'll need to get some good air samples and solar energy samples too. The air will be easy, but to test what your sun puts out will be tricky."

"Not exactly." Senior remarked with a knowing smile. "I know somebody who can provide you with a perfect sample. It's just about pristine."

"Who?" Dib asked, mouth agape.

...

...

...

...Dib could scarcely believe it. In Bob the Former Table Drone's lovely little room, was a big jar full of burning, intense fire, sealed away within a fireproof capsule, a living bit of burning gas and flame that faintly popped and sizzled as the former low rung on the Irken ladder smiled up at them, Red and Purple grunting darkly as they glared over from a nearby carpet. The two were forced to pick out doughnut pieces. Individually. With tweezers.

Purple was naturally crying over the dreadful waste of doughnut crumbs he couldn't eat. Red was silently stewing as he saw Senior gesture at the fireproof jar, Dib approaching it with awe. "Is...that?"

"Yes!" said former Table Drone Bob, now "Middle Manager Bob". "A piece of the sun of Irk! It was embedded in my squeedlyspooch after Tallests Red and Purple duct-taped me to a chair and launched me and Zim into the sun." His smile turned slightly mechanical. "I can't eat dairy products right anymore because of that. Or, um...sit down right for long periods of time."

"I'm amazed you survived!" Dib exclaimed, getting a pair of heavy-duty gloves from Senior, picking up the jar. He felt the piece of the Irken sun softly burning in his grip, gazing down at it with awe as Bob's face now turned less fake smile and more "trying to mask humbleness" smile.

"Aw, you're too kind, human!" Bob told the black-haired boy as Dib's amber/golden eyes glimmered behind his glasses. It was like holding a precious fairy in a bottle, the fire danced and twirled about so majestically as Bob went on. "It hurt like heck, but the good news was that we flew right through the very edge of the sun and sort of richocheted right out of it. The sun's own gravity slung us around. Course, Zim and I still had to hide in the ship's black box to survive and even then the sun still burned through us."

"HA! Zim only lost ONE left eye while you lost two internal organs and a rib! Scoreboard, Bob! Scoreboard!" Zim squeaked out from the tiny capsule on Senior's belt he was stuck in.

"Yes, but it was your favorite eye, remember?" Senior added. "You called up to complain about Bob's "poor flying" after miraculously surviving your encounter, and to file a complaint."

"Yes. Poor "Lamont"." Zim sighed, looking down at the ground and closing his eyes. "Oh Lamont, how I miss you. If only I could see you...with you. Alas."

"He...named his left eyeball "Lamont". Dare I ask what he named the right one?" Dib inquired, raising an eyebrow up.

"Britney, actually." Bob said. "Irk Almighty, he had this long, ugly funeral for the eye after he crawled from the wreckage of the ship after crashing back down on Irk. He made me play "Taps" for the damn thing and wouldn't let me limp to the hospital until he'd let "Britney" do a Eulogy for his stupid left eye!"

"His name was Lamont and he was **beautiful**!" Zim procaimed, tearfully wiping a tear from his new left eye, which, interestingly, he had named "Barney". "Oh, Lamont! You were too good for this sinful world! May you be Tallest in the next!"

Needless to say, Dib left the Massive a little while after that to celebrate getting all the samples, Senior taking him to Irk's finest restaurant, a lovely little circular building with a big spatula sticking out the top, and large double doors that gleamed brightly, leading inside. The interior had dark yellow carpeting, and the walls were painted with lovely-looking photographs depicting, what Dib supposed, were various famous Irkens. He recognized Miyuki and Spork and Red and Purple rather easily, Tallests were quite easy to spot.

And of course, now Senior had his own, which was stationed right near the front desk of the restaurant, a desk that gleamed with a lovely faint, yellowish/golden glow like many of the tables within. "Spork had this restaurant made. He LOOOOVED food." Senior told Dib as they approached the front desk, where a cheery-looking Irken in a white little cook's hat bowed a bit before leading them to their table.

"This week's "Specialty Chef" will be out shortly." He told them, leaving them menus as Senior cheerily nodded and looked up at Dib, who examined his menu closely.

"Spork adored fine dining and good food. His idea for the restaurant was that there'd be a new "specialty of the week", a new chef cooking it every week, be they Irken or Vortian or any other inhabitant of the Empire. We've got humans helping out here in our restaurants now, of course, and we're going to have this CHARMING Chinese cook we found doing a noodle special in a few days. Now that Humans are part of the Empire, we can savor all your species has to offer in terms of culinary creations!" Senior laughed. "And right here in our home."

"I appreciate that, because I didn't want to have to order...I dunno...space monkey brains." Dib remarked. "I think I'd like to get some fried dough and fries and a green salad." He said, pointing to different parts of the menu. "And...yes, and a root beer."

"I SO want to try a root beer float, but it would probably burn my throat." Senior sighed sadly. "Still, we're working on adjusting PAKs so that future Irkens will be able to enjoy dairy products and other Earthling food. I know many smeets who can't wait to enjoy their first milkshake."

"So good to see you!" announced a loud, slightly abrasive voice as Dib looked up, seeing a rather huge, round-headed Irken. He had deep-set purple eyes, wore a triangular white chef's hat, a big white apron over his immense frame, and big, thick shoulder pads. He took off the hat, showing off thick antannae, and bowed to Senior.

"Good to see you too, Sizz-Lorr! Do you like being able to take a break from being off Foodcourtia?"

"It's always good to get a little time away from the galaxy's biggest and messiest food court." Sizz-Lorr remarked. "And good to enjoy slower food and fewer customers. Though I admit..." He chuckled dryly. "I've been getting a bit more than I thought now that I've learned human recipes. Still, would you like to hear the specialty I'm making for this week? It's a charming fusion blend. Sliced Skootusk with Earthen Noodles in a lovely sauce, mixed with Paku Plant blossoms. Crunchy and spicy and sweet all at once!"

"My wife will love that, I'm meeting her and the kids here with Dib!" Senior said. "Dib'll have fried dough, an order of fries, a green salad and a root beer."

"And no dressing. I like my salad plain, if you don't mind, Mr. Sizz-Lorr." said Dib, as the gigantic chef took the menus, and then took Dib's hand, shaking it. "Oh! Uh...thanks?"

"I should be thanking you! You've driven Zim up the wall for years now! Anyone who's caused Zim that much pain is a friend of mine."

"Has Zim personally pissed off everyone on Irk?"

"Not yet, but he's **getting** there." Senior laughed as Sizz-Lorr left them at their table, just as some grey-skinned aliens entered the room, with horned heads. It was a Vortian family, the female had curved-down horns that slid down her cheeks, almost looking like the grips on a car wheel, with piercingly pink eyes. Her youngest was hovering in a little brown crib, with pink eyes to match her mother, whilst her two boys had blue eyes to match the large blue vest she wore, all of the little Vortians having adorable little stubby horns atop their heads.

"Hey there, Peanut!" called out the pink-eyed Vortian to Senior, sliding in next to him along with her children whilst Dib saw the baby hovering her crib down to the side, her pink eyes looking him over as she smiled warmly.

"Hewwo." she said.

"Ohhh. You're...psychic?" Dib asked, intrigued that someone so young could have that kind of powers as she cheerily nodded.

"This is my wife, May Nar. My youngest, Nora, and Bo and Ian." Senior said, Dib nodding his head at the Vortians. He was slightly surprised that the grey-skinned aliens with the springy legs were only wearing shirts, and not any...well, pants. He also found himself slightly distracted by May's...well, chest. He'd never really been this close to a woman before, and a blush came to his cheeks as he nervously looked away.

"Aw, shy?" May asked. "It's okay, sweetie. Lots of people are shy around women."

"So, um...you said your name's "May Nar"?" Dib asked, still not exactly looking her in the face. "Are you related to Lard Nar?"

"He's my brother." May said, leaning over to Senior and kissing his cheek as Zim groaned in disgust at this.

"Ugh. Marrying a filthy goaty-head. You disgusting _melkremar_!"

Little Nora psyhically hovered the little ball that Zim was in over to herself, and began shaking him around. "OWOWOWOWWOW!" He cried out, being bonked around as May giggled a bit.

"Lard was a BIT weirded out by me marrying Senior, but since Senior had busted me and my children out of the immense jail that Irkens set up to hold our best and brightest away in, AND he helped protect me from my abusive ex-husband, he got over it. Besides, Senior would secretly send aid to the Resisty that my brother led, and now that he's helped bring Vort back to the Vortians, he's really turned around on him." May offered.

"You were in prison? Were you a scientist?" Dib asked, intrigued as he rested his head on his hands, leaning in as May shook her head.

"Oh no. I wired a strip club to explode. **Boom!** Up it went. Those Irken pricks weren't going to make any more of our kind do lap dances for them." she said with a laugh. "Especially when they no longer had laps to dance on! I'm really good with chemicals, though. Always have been. I've actually begun working on a special additive that'll, when perfected, allow Irkens to enjoy normal Earthling meat products."

"Our food should be here soon." Senior offered. "Kids, when Sizz-Lorr gets here, tell him what you'd like to drink. But remember, Nora. No soda for you."

"Awww." She pouted a bit and shook Zim around some more in his little glassy capsule. Dib chuckled at the sight. But what he really wanted was to ask May Nar about Vortians. He didn't know nearly as much as he'd like to.

"Can you tell me what your planet is like? What religions you might have? How your government works?" He wanted to know of May as she chuckled a bit at how overeager he was, their food soon arriving as Sizz-Lorr took all the kid's orders for...well...milkshakes. Vortians COULD have dairy products, and a slightly dejected Senior and even Zim stared longingly at the drinks he set down whilst Dib munched away on some fries whilst his free hand scribbled down notes on a notepad.

"So I suppose the closest our species would be to yours in terms of culture would be...ah...what's the word? "Jewish"?" May reasoned. "Our tribes, our deep religious upbringing, our rather strict moral guidelines and our traditions have much in common with your Earth's "Jewish" race." She admitted with a nod. "Plus our food is quite similar. We're not allowed to eat pork either! Actually, that reminds me of a joke." She grinned broadly. "A Vortian Priest and an Irken priest are sitting together in a restaurant, and the Irken priest asks "I know you're Vortian, so you can't eat pork. But have you ever done so?" "Yes, a couple of times. And you Irken priests are supposed to remain celibate, but, well, have you ever...?" "Well...yes! A couple of times." "...better than pork, isn't it?"

Dib laughed. He LIKED May, she was delightful, having a kind of "I don't care what I say" sort of personality. It was as if she said whatever came into her mind, and didn't take guff from anyone. The fact she was so open and willing to talk about such personal details of her life and culture, and to even brag about blowing up an Irken titty bar astonished Dib. In fact, she'd even gone into rather disturbing, but hilarious detail on it, forcing the kids to cover each other's ears, Senior covering Nora's cuz she wanted to listen. The highlight of the operation had come when a burning pair of Irken uniform pants had flown clean through the air and flopped right over a stunned guard's face as he'd run over to investigate, May Nar laughing so hard at the sight that she'd fallen right off the nearby roof and onto some trash cans, thus giving away her position, and getting her caught.

"You're funny." Dib said with a grin, when they were all finished, and exiting the restaurant, Dib heading back towards the Massive as Senior and his family joined them. "I should tell you about some of the crazy escapes I had with Zim sometime."

"I have to say, I'm impressed you didn't just smush him." May remarked, looking down at the trapped Zim as he grumbled darkly, arms folded over his chest. "It's tempting to use all that power to do so much!" She admitted, Dib nodding a bit in agreement as they made their way up the ramp, into the Massive, and Dib headed for his own room, Senior heading off with the kids as May walked with Dib. "I know Senior would never fool around with you against your will, but I wanted to ask..." She raised an invisible eyebrow up. "Has...anyone else tried to use the shrinking devices on you?" She wanted to know, Dib shaking his head as he went to the front door of his room, and it slid open.

"Oh, no, no."

"Ah. Well!"

She pulled out one right from her blue vest, and fired it straight at Dib. He gasped, feeling his body tingling and shrinking, getting smaller and smaller as May caught him in her outstretched hand, and closed the door behind herself, going to sit on the bed. Dib nervously shook, staring up at May's now **huge** figure, the texture of her now large hands feeling like an odd type of grey, warm leather as she chuckled a bit and leaned down. "D'aww, look at you. You're so cute when you're small." She playfully intoned, giving his head a _verrrrry_ gentle little kiss that, despite everything, made him blush. Her lips were so soft to the touch, and when she lifted him up...he found himself being carefully held right up to her rather impressive bust.

"W-Wait, are you...?" He nervously asked.

"Don't be scared." She chuckled, and with that, she placed him right between her breasts, Dib finding himself carefully positioned just in the right space. It was like being held up by two big, bouncy, warm balls of flesh, an erotic, strange scent coming off her body. She had a faintly odd mixture of sweet and spicy aftertones that intermingled, making Dib slightly shudder as her breasts jiggled about, making him shake a bit.

"OHHH." He murmured out, now blushing even more deeply as she chuckled, taking hold of each breast and giving them a bit of a shake, making Dib bob up and down. "Woah-woah-woah!"

"Doesn't that feel _nice_?" May asked him, speaking in an oddly sincere way as she looked down at him with those shockingly deep, pink eyes, Dib staring up at her. "Yeah, you're totally at my mercy, but is that such a bad thing? Look how good it feels. Being completely in someone else's power, utterly dominated by them not through cruelty or visciousness, but tenderness and playfulness..." She smiled. "Think how good it would feel to spend every night just...resting on my chest, all warm and snug. Or maybe tucked away inside me or my beloved, cozy and safe."

She tenderly patted him on the head with astonishing gentleness, then lifted him up, and leaned back, setting him on her bare belly, right on top of her belly button. It was of a softer texture than the rest of her skin, and he felt his cheeks blush more as she smiled warmly at his face, tilting her head to the side. "It can be scary, but it can also be...comforting. Like being in the arms of a trainer that's helping you climb a very tall mountain. All around you is danger, but in their grasp, there's immeasurable safety and comfort, a sense of knowing "...I trust them to help me, and keep me safe". And that rock you hold onto, in the middle of everything...that makes all anxiousness and fear you have just melt away. You trust them that much."

"And you trust Senior that much?" Dib quietly asked as she chuckled a bit.

"Of course, silly Dib! Absolutely!" She sighed though, and leaned her head back, looking up the ceiling. "But many of our kind don't...forgive easily. And don't trust him even though he's trying so hard to make up for what Irk did. Still...trust should be earned, however slow, and he's trying. And I know he's trying hard too to prove he's trustworthy to you. So I'll say this."

She sat up, gently plucking him up and back onto the bed, looking right into his face. "...don't break his trust, Dib. **Don't**." May Nar firmly intoned, getting out the shrink ray, and returning him to normal size, leaving him alone in the room as he nervously tugged at his neck before flopping onto the bed, and letting out a long, deep sigh, before thinking back to the samples he'd taken.

"...I should...go do the tests." He murmured, rising off his bed, and heading for the laboratory wing of the Massive where he'd left them. About ten minutes later, he was sitting down at a large desk, scanning over the solar radiation sample that Bob had provided, taking a peek at Irk's sun and what it could do as his eyes bulged wide behind his glasses. He compared the charts, first Earth, then Irk.

This was astounding. Irk's sun was indeed much, much different than Earth's. If his concerns about the atmosphere of Earth were right...he immediately got to work on THAT and the soil samples, as the clock on the wall idly ticked by, ignoring the aggravated gruntings of Red and Purple as they made their way down the hall, forced to sweep and mop a final time before they could head to bed. As the hours dragged on and Dib rubbed at his eyes, the results of the soil sample tests finally completed, and the atmospheric readout finished as well.

It was astounding. Dib almost dropped the readout on the spot, he was that stunned. Mouth agape, he read over the paper, eyes wide and alarmed as he moved to a spot in the wing where the couple of cameras within couldn't see, a "blind spot" to avoid being spotted and overheard.

"This is...incredible." He murmured inwardly. The sun of Irk was nothing compared to Earth's. Earth's was far, **far** stronger, and the water composition within the atmosphere was not just potentially damaging to Irkens, but fatal! The pollution of the planet was **dulling** the full effects not merely of the solar radiation from Earth's sun, but also from the natural H20 within the air of the planet!

Forget simply drying up like a raisin in the sun! If the conditions were right, Irkens would get boiled, dissolved, _cooked alive_ if the air pollution in Earth's atmosphere was cleared away! He absolutely couldn't let Senior see this results. Looking about, he stuffed the readouts into his underwear, slightly waddling waddling down the hallway as he did so. UGH. The paper was cutting into his hips! But there was no way he was gonna just stick the thing in his pocket in case Senior popped up.

Well, Senior didn't, but Red and Purple did, on their way back to their rooms, looking tired, aggravated, and irritated as they looked up at Dib, scowling. "What're you waddling about for?" Red grunted.

Dib thought of a lie. "Um, I-Irken cooking doesn't...fully agree with me." He lied, Red snorted at this as Purple began to laugh, the two heading off down the hall.

"HA! Victory for Irk!" Red proclaimed, punching his fists in the air. "We'll take what we can get! First your planet! Then your underwear! Who knows what tomorrow will bring?" He sniggered.

Dib grumbled darkly, sliding into his room and making sure it was locked as he looked around the room. The bathroom. He slid inside, grateful there were no video cameras here. He was _fairly_ sure there wasn't any in his room, but best not to take any chance. He took out the readouts from his pants, and then carefully began folding them up. Now he could hide them more safely and out of sight, sliding them into a bottle of his "Flintstone Vitamins" from a nearby medicine cupboard, putting it back inside as he sighed in relief. Phew. Now to just get back to Earth...

But first thing's first. He'd have to fake some results. Make it look as though there wouldn't be any harm in making the adjustments to Earth's atmosphere. If the Irkens found out their anti-pollution efforts would only serve to kill them, they'd never go through with it!

He was so close. He couldn't let himself feel guilty. He had to do this. He HAD to. His planet needed to be freed. So, letting out a bit of a yawn, he trudged back to the laboratory wing to get to work, even though May and her family's heartbroken faces sometimes swam in front of his vision. He tried not to think about them. He really did. And he tried not to think about how...nice and warm and soft May's chest had been.

He wasn't doing a very good job.


	5. Death in the Land Down Under, Part 1

"This is...very illuminating."

Faith and the other scientists at the laboratory of Membrane Labs nodded up at the professor, Prof. Membrane gazing down in awe at what his son had learned. All of the data about Irk, about the Earth's atmosphere and the varying differences between the two planets, the WEAKNESSES that they could all exploit...Dib's father had a new emotion in his voice that Dib had rarely ever heard.

Pride. Absolute pride in his son. His eyes were beaming behind his goggles, his voice almost giddy with joy, Dib beaming in delight. They were currently looping the camera footage for the room to buy them some time to discuss everything Dib had gotten from the samples on Irk, and Matthew Membrane turned to his son, almost choked up with emotion. "I...I can scarcely believe what I'm holding. This is just what we need."

"So we should continue our work on fixing the Earth's atmosphere, of course." Faith reasoned. "With our sun and rain barreling down on the Irkens, they'll be helpless! They can bathe in glue all they want, it won't be enough to stop all this!" She remarked before sighing a bit, glancing over at the wall over her desk, at the M.I.T diploma she'd gotten. Her brand, shiny new diploma.

"Oh. You finished your college program while I was gone?" Dib asked, seeing Faith's slightly disturbed, worried face.

"Trik was really proud of me. He had it framed and everything, and took me out to dinner. It was like having my dad back for a while." She muttered quietly, her head hanging low, soft black hair tied into some pigtails, deep brown eyes closed. "It was...nice." She mumbled.

"Look, we gotta stay focused." Gaz insisted. "And you're all missing something. What about the Irkens on their ships? And on Irk? Say you fix the atmosphere. They'll realize what you did and they'll nuke us from orbit."

"I never, ever thought I would say this, but Gaz is absolutely right. We need to deal with the fleet, and then with the capital." Dib reasoned, putting a hand on Faith's shoulder, making her raise her head up. "We should work on a virus to infest their ship's computer systems. I've been on the Massive long enough, if I could spend some more time getting to know its systems..."

"Let ME do that." Gaz spoke up with a bit of a smirk. "I've been telling Tak that their ship designs aren't good enough and I've been going over ideas on how they could improve."

"It involves transforming into giant robots, doesn't it?"

"Let's be honest, Dib. You dig giant robots. I dig giant robots. WE dig giant robots. And chicks dig giant robots." Gaz wisely intoned, everyone nodding in agreement. It was true. Giant robots were wonderful. There was no debating this.

"Okay, you can get to know their ship schematics. Faith, you and my dad and everyone else here can keep working on the atmospheric front, and I'll think of a way to deal with Irk. And I think I know how. We'll call on Irk's former enemies, have THEM handle Irk. I mean, WE don't have spaceships to sail all the way there, but I'm sure planets like Vort would!" Dib reasoned. He flinched inwardly, thinking of May's accusing stare, but Lard Nar, the Resisty and others might be a bit more open to it.

Then again, Lard Nar clearly respected Senior now. Maybe Dib should offer Senior's safety. He'd ask when he saw him, and he knew just how to get in touch with him...having May contact him!

"Alright, everyone knows what they need to do." Dib reasoned. "We've been in here for almost ten minutes, I don't think we should stay here anymore. They'll probably guess we're up to something, so let's get going."

"I'll unloop the footage. Everyone, get back in place!" Faith insisted, everyone else nodding as Dib and Gaz headed out the door, off for the Membrane Laboratory mess hall, where Senior was looking out the window, at the gently falling snow. He smiled a bit, turning from the large, white, fluffy hills and ground around the laboratory and the city, and over to the cafeteria. Various Irkens were chuckling, having made up entire hills of powdered sugar and the like, tiny little humans playing in it, sliding down it on little sleds.

In fact, the entire CAFETERIA was done up in holiday style. Jingle bells upon the doors, mistletoe hung tenderly in just the right places, wreaths on the walls, and, of course, the Christmas music. Or rather, in this case, the Christmas PARODY music that was making Senior giggle as a new verse began to play.

"They wanna wish me a sober Christmas! That's why they always pull me over, Christmas! They say they're just making sure that there's no open bottles...in my caaaaar! They wanna wish me a sober Christmas! That's why they always pull me over, Christmas! They say they're just making sure that there's no open bottles...in my caaaaar!" Senior sang out, to the tune of "Feliz Navidad", head bouncing back and forth as Gaz blinked a bit at this, Dib snorting. It was just so ridiculous. "Police lock me up! Police lock me up! Police lock me up! Cuz when I blew, I blew a ten point one!"

"I've never even HEARD this parody song before."

"You don't know what you've been missing." Senior insisted, leading Gaz and Dib over to his table, smiling warmly. "I just love the Christmas spirit, but I'm not the only one, as you can tell. Skoodge has also really gotten into it. He said he had a little surprise he wanted us to see, so I thought it'd be good of us to drop in on him at Zim's old house later, after breakfast. He said he had some presents to give you two. Sound good?"

"Free presents. Why not?" Gaz said with a shrug, Dib scratching his head as Senior opened up the box of donuts he'd gotten for all of them to enjoy, cracking open a bottle of Root Beer. Presents? What could Skoodge have for them?

As it turned out...something very unusual indeed. Approaching the little green house with a very pointed top, they opened up the front door, seeing the adorable little blue-eyed robot that was GIR smiling warmly at them, as a little floating moose plushie hovered overhead. Standing in the middle of the room, a large Christmas tree loaded up with ornaments like glass balls, tinsel and little stars to his right...was Skoodge. He was grinning cheerily, wearing a cute little Santa costume of typical red and white, albeit without a beard, and...

In his hands was a small little statue. A sculpture, an ICE sculpture, finely carved, looking just like Dib. Dib reached out, taking the sculpture atop the little blue stand as Skoodge nodded over at GIR, who headed into the kitchen, getting out an ice sculpture of GAZ too. The little robot servants of Zim had been having a good time living with the tubby Invader. Minimoose too. His art was more...cerebral.

How did he make art with no hands? Don't ask.

The humans took Skoodge's art in their own hands, Dib's mouth slightly agape as Gaz raised an eyebrow up. "You...got us ice sculptures?" She asked, sounding rather confused.

"I MADE them!" Skoodge said with a beaming smile, his cheeks flushed. "Now that I don't have to worry about impressing the Tallest or helping Zim with his remarkably stupid plans-"

"HEY!" Zim's tiny frame yelled out from the capsule he was stuck in on Senior's belt, glowering angrily.

"...I could focus on my hobbies!" Skoodge explained with a nod, Dib looking down at the ornate detail of the sculpture. The hair was well-carved, curved in that scythe-like fashion just like his own was, his glasses had been expertly added on in addition, Skoodge had taken the time to hand-carve glasses to put on top of his little Dib sculpture, and Dib tenderly lifted the glasses off, looking them over, his mouth agape in awe before putting them back on his ice sculpture's tiny ears. It was pristine, cool, and pretty. "Do you...like it?" Skoodge asked.

"How come you do ice sculptures?" Gaz said. She was clearly torn between wanting something more meaningful, and being touched that someone had made her her own statue. Her expression was hard to fully read. Skoodge rubbed the back of his head, nervously chuckling.

"Well, I **could** get the computer or a machine to do it, but I do all my ice sculpting in the basement. It's freezing and everything and it's long, hard work, but...its worth it. I sometimes get all stingy and buzzing cuz I forget to bathe in paste I'm down there for so long and all the ice is misting around, but..." He hesitated, trying to find the words. "It feels more personal." He said, leading them towards the basement door, descending down into the steps.

Sure enough, there were huge blocks of ice lining up and down the walls, the air all cold and bitter as Skoodge handed them some sweaters from off a nearby closet door. They put it on as he led them towards a block of ice on a table, and they saw he was in the middle of carving a GRETCHEN sculpture, and almost done. All her hair, her little freckles, all of it was finely carved, a little tiny pick, some knives and other cutting tools all on the table. Skoodge picked a knife up, shaving off a bit of ice to begin slimming down the Gretchen sculpture's legs, his tongue slightly out of his mouth.

"It's careful, calm work." He murmured, his eyes deeply, intensely gazing at the sculpture. "You need to really, really focus. It isn't for the impatient, but...when you're finished, it's...it's amazing. It's beautiful, and impermanent, and it can have so much DETAIL put into it. And the more I put into it, the more clear it becomes I put a lot of heart and effort into it. You can see the work I've done, and know how long it took me to do it. And it makes every little statue special." Skoodge whispered. "Special and unique. Smooth and cool and dazzling, and when it catches the light, its like it...glows." He murmured out. "And there was nothing like this on Irk, nothing. We have NO art, haven't for centuries and centuries! And now, I feel...almost spoiled!"

He sighed in delight, wiping his brow, his breath misting the air as he beamed. "I get to enjoy plays, and musicals and movies all day if I want. When you don't have to worry about your job, when you're not in fear for your life, when you can RELAX, that's when people truly create. After all, when your race didn't have to worry about tigers and bears and all constantly eating you, you could work on making real technology, after all...and now we Irkens are doing the same!" he turned to Dib with a big grin. "I can't wait to see the things other Irkens come up with now that they don't need to constantly worry about hiding away from other aliens, always looking over their shoulders, afraid their disguise will be seen through..."

"BAH!" Zim snorted, rolling his eyes. "You've all gone softy and squishy, like the filthy humans!"

"Would you feel better if I told you I made you an ice sculpture?" Skoodge added cheerily, Zim now staring up at him in sheer shock.

"...really?" He asked quietly, eyes going wide as Skoodge unveiled a small little sculpture that was under a tiny cloth on the table. Well, it was Zim alright. Big mouth wide open, yelling angrily, fists clenched in fury, full of sound, signifying nothing. But ZIM looked positively rapturous. "It's so **beeaaauuutiful**." he whispered. "The passion in my eyes! The mighty roar my mouth is expunging! Every muscle clenched in deep rage! I look like a true warrior!"

"I just pictured you yelling at Dib for inspiration. There's a lot of home videos Minimoose took of you doing that." Skoodge admitted.

"Has Minimoose been recording EVERYTHING Zim did?" Senior found himself asking as Skoodge chuckled a bit.

"Yes, Zim insisted Minimoose record him doing everything so as to constantly improve himself."

"From constant study of myself, I could learn how to be even MORE perfect." Zim reasoned, putting a hand on his chest.

"Okay, but...why is a good third of the camera footage you in the shower?" Skoodge asked, tilting his head a bit as Zim now turned pale.

"Wh-what? YOU'RE LYING!" Zim squeaked out, eyes wide with fear as Gaz grinned evilly.

"Could we **see** that footage?" She inquired with a dark grin. "Better still, could we edit all that footage together and upload it online with yours truly providing hilarious commentary?"

But before they could get a chance to do that, Senior's communicator wrang, the air being split by-

 _ **Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, bananaphone!**_

 _ **Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, bananaphooooone!**_

Everyone looked at Senior, who slightly blushed as he lifted his communiator up. "Hello?"

"I hate to give you THIS sort of Christmas present, but you remember that Australian resistance movement you checked in on not too long ago?" Darth inquired nervously on the small video screen Senior now stared at. His white eyes were filled with anxiety as he bit his lip slightly. "Well, the situation has worsened. There's been a hospital bombing."

" ** _WHAT_**." Senior's eyes bulged wide, his green pupils expanding rapidly. "Where?!"

"The Royal Melbourne Hospital. It's...bad." Darth's balled antannae hung very low. "We can't just teleport everyone out either, we need to get heavy duty ships there and the humans managed to snag themselves a size changing ray. They've grown their own troops to huge sizes and they ripped apart any ships we sent in, and our ground troops are terrified to go in so close. We need to get a small team in."

"Has Tak prepared one?"

"She has a plan. She's sending in small waves and using cloaked fighters. We're going to be healing up the wounded and escorting them, when fit enough for transport, to the fighters for withdrawal."

"We can help!" Dib said quickly. "Gaz wanted to talk to Tak anyway about ship weaknesses and ways to improve the fleet, and I can help patch people up. I had to patch myself up plenty of times."

Senior looked at him and Gaz, Gaz seemingly quite eager to get close to the front lines, a look of deep interest and excitement building on her face, Dib looking resolute and firm. "I could just shrink you and forcibly keep you away." Senior told them quietly. "If I wanted to. But..." He hesitated. "In all honesty, I want you to be there. There's not going to be many humans from our side there at the hospital. Having some friendly faces for the patients, especially YOUNG faces, might do them some psychological good. It'd be a way for those down there to know we're not as bad as they've been told." he reasoned. "Australia's been VERY problematic for us...I hoped it wouldn't get this bad, but..."

He sighed, then nodded. "Alright. Darth, tell Tak to have a cloak fielded Voot Runner pick Dib and Gaz up right outside Zim's house."

"We'll have Jayd go with them." Darth said with a firm nod. "He also volunteered to go, I'm sure he'd love the company. He's just left the hospital right now, he can come by Zim's house in an hour."

Senior nodded, turning to Dib and Gaz. "Sorry you'll be spending the first week of Christmas vacation patching up wounds and sewing stitches." he admitted.

Gaz just smirked. "Oh, please. I can handle a little blood. I'm not afraid."

...

...

...

...Jayd leaned back in the modified Voot Runner, his spiky antannae hanging low over his head as he handed Dib his present. "Here. Merry Christmas!" He offered, Dib looking over the little package Jayd had given to him, another being given to Gaz as the blur of the clouds outside in the sky drifted by his head. "Do you like it?" He asked.

Dib tore the packaging open, looking over it. It was a small gift card for twenty bucks to "Amazon". "You didn't have to get us anything." Dib remarked, raising an eyebrow up to look at Jayd who chuckled warmly back, his black eyes having their usual warmth. It would only take an hour to get to Australia's shores, then Jayd would take over from the autopilot to land in secret, away from prying human eyes.

"It's Christmas, and I love getting people things. Besides, I've got a good salary, I can afford to." Jayd reasoned. "There'll always be a need to patch people up." He added with a sage nod. "And I don't know how long I'll be here on Earth for. Once this assignment here is over, I'll probably be moved to our new colony. We're going to work on some terraforming efforts with the newest generation of Irken smeets, teaching them to farm the land and how to make their own shelters, sort of starting from scratch. And, best of all, no PAKs to make into an easy target."

"If nature wanted you to get back to it, it wouldn't put so many things inside it that can kill you." Gaz sagely intoned, already using her smart phone to cash in the gift card, eager to order an online case of high energy drinks to be sent to their house.

"True, true." Jayd reasoned sagely. "Which is why we've also set up heavy defensive measures on said colony. We want to make sure nobody can find us, the place is as off-the-grid as it gets, I don't even know the name of the planetoid."

Dib nodded and looked at Jayd's eyes. He was reminded, briefly, of when he was a bit younger and had read the "Harry Potter" series. Jayd had eyes like that of Hagrid's, black and big, and scary at first until you really stared into them, and saw the warmth that twinkled out. "I wanted to ask...why didn't Tak just decide to, y'know, bomb the place from orbit?"

"We're trying to AVOID massive casualities." Jayd insisted firmly. "Besides, Tak is positively disgusted with such ideas. She spent years on the planet Dirt pissed off at the Tallest for not treating her loyalty with the respect and consideration it deserved. Red and Purple didn't care about their troops. Tak doesn't want to be like them. At all. So she's not going to go for a plan that involves any kind of friendly fire. Now, once we've escorted all the patients out and all our men out, **then** she'll feel free to let loose and let the human rebels know what happens when we decide not to hold back."

Jayd sighed and steepled his gauntleted hands, closing his eyes as Dib nervously bit his lip. "Um...Jayd, about the nanogenes in your gauntlets. The ones that run through your PAK and all that. Did it...hurt?" He wanted to know, pointing at the tubes that were attached to Jayd's gauntlets, running from his PAK to his hands. "When they-"

"Yes." Jayd softly murmured. "It did. Not everyone has the type of PAK type to handle the maintenance of nanogenes. Only medical models, and only very strong willed Irkens who can control the nanogene flow. It takes a LOT of willpower to make them do what I want. But now I can use them as easily as if they were my own hands and feet. And of course...the tingle. Everyone likes the tingle." He added, wiggling his clawed digits in the air and chuckling a bit. "Want me to put on some Christmas-"

"Not Christmas music!" Gaz insisted firmly. "We've been hearing that with Senior for days now! Something, ANYTHING other than Christmas music!"

"...okay!" Jayd said, tapping the console. With a few beeps, a new type of tune came on.

 _ **"If my boddyyyy! Was broken opeeeeeen! And you could look insiiiiiiiide!"**_

Gaz grinned in delight. "Alriiiight! "Autopsy"!

"UGH. Death metal." Dib moaned. Worse still, very on-the-nose death metal, with lyrics like "Would there be any sign of life, or would you only find death" from the singer describing what would happen if you looked inside his body. And stuff like "Can the human body still give you glory even in death". Well. It could have been worse. Jayd could have put on "The Crash Test Dummies" or "It's the End of the World As We Know It" or-

"That was "Heavy Metal Hour", and now, ladies and gentlemen, let's move on to our "Classics of Fine Music", our two hour relaxation time for all you stressed folks out there. Beginning with "The Gravedigger", by Schubert."

"OH, C'MOONNNN!"

About an hour later, they'd arrived, touching down on the edge of Melbourne. Smoke was wafting up from huge chunks of the city, the skies cloudy and overcast, a disgustingly humid, rotten stench wafting through the air. Gaz, Jayd and Dib exited from the cloaked Voot, making their way through the wrecked and ravaged streets. Big chunks of road had been ripped up, as if literally torn out of the ground, large pieces of skyscrapers and buildings littered their way towards the hospital, and worse still was the blood.

There was a lot of blood. Ugly, foul, rotten, stains that lingered on the roads. Horrible patches of foul, sloughy, dark green blood that Dib recognized as Irken blood. And organs he recognized as Irken as well. Irkens had been smushed, smashed, slammed down into the road by what he knew was a pair of giant fists or by feet or chunks of road that laid nearby, hands severed from their owners, lying not too far from the body, shoulders and waists bisected, some crushed heads, the rest of the form untouched and lying flat, and...stuff. Ugly, foul, wet, rotten stuff that was just...lying in a pile attached to...

Dib didn't even want to think about it. He tried to ignore it, but the smell was making him pale. Gaz was looking quietly, dangerously at the horrific remnants of the dead as Jayd quietly sighed and shook his head. Then she whispered. "SHHH" and they all stopped. Her eyes had gone wide, and she turned to them all. "HIDE!" She whispered, her eyes going wide as she grabbed their hands, tugging them to the side, kicking open the door to a clothing store and hiding behind the counter.

And just in time, too. Because a moment later there came a loud, shuddering series of steps, smaller steps ringing through the air as Irken troops began running away. Dib could faintly see over the counter, they were racing away from the hospital, evidently their attempt to try and retake the thing had gone badly wrong. Senior had been right, their ground troops had good reason to be afraid.

"Hey, hey, let's see which of you get this one!" Announced a very loud, Australian voice as a big, booted foot stomped down on an Irken, his scream being silenced by a foul, wet, ugly PLA-PLORK as Dib ducked back down, covering his mouth to suppress a scream. The Australian now began to sing. "It's a brand new day, and the sun is high, all the birds are singing that you're gonna diiiiie!"

"How did you know?" Jayd quietly asked Gaz as she smiled grimly.

"I noticed something when you guys use the growing and shrinking tech. The air gets all...staticky. I felt it here and now, thought it'd be a smart idea to hide. Guess I was right." She muttered, as more horrific, terrified screams were being swiftly silenced by horrific, wet, foul crushing noises. "They're getting smushed like bugs out there."

"I'm sure you find it ironic..." Dib mumbled.

"Not really, it's not even a challenge." Gaz said, looking slightly offended. "If I'm going to kill someone, I want it to be a real, actual fight. This isn't even that. Besides, they've now killed my ability to enjoy Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog." She added.

"How very inconsiderate. If only my species had forseen the tragedy our horrific, squishy deaths to the tune of Neil Patrick Harris showtunes would bring to you." A voice rang out as they looked up, seeing Tak was there in the back, gesturing for them to follow her. "How fortunate that we chose to hide in the same place. I was just on my way to see if you'd touched down. Now we need to wait 12 minutes. You can't stay that size for too long, human bodies aren't meant to be that tall, they get dizzy and sick and they crash over into the city. We found that out the first day they tried this. Allowed us to regroup and think up new attack plans." She said, swiftly slinking over to them, her face firm and resolute. "They can only stay that tall for 15 minutes. So...we wait."

Dib cringed a bit, Tak looking into his eyes. "Not a pretty sight out there, is it, Dibbun Membrane? I imagine you think we're getting what we deserve. Do you, pray tell, want to run out? Beg the humans for help? Hope they won't smush you as a possible collaborator?"

Dib said nothing. He just quietly looked away. "I'm...sorry, this must be...harder for you to see."

She grimly smiled. "Oh, I'm used to it by now, Dib. I'm used to it. And you'll get used to it too, soon enough..."


	6. Death in the Land Down Under, Part 2

Sneaking to the hospital gave Dib and Gaz their first, genuine, real look at the wounded. Because the minute they entered in through a tunnelway entrance near the west wing, they saw a man clutching under his arm, blood dribbling down his forehead, another wound to his side. He was panting heavily, wearing a regular white shirt and blue jeans, the shirt smattered with mud and blood from his injuries, his hair a complete mess as he glanced up at them with hollow eyes.

"Humans." He murmured. "Oh, you're KIDS." He mumbled, Dib kneeling by him. "How nice to see some kids around here. I wonder my kids are."

"I need that plasma, c'mon, we've got more injured coming through!" Called out some Irken medics, carrying in a barely-conscious woman in a green patient's robe on a stretcher down a white hospital hallway that was slightly cracked, a chunk of roof had fallen down and fractured the ground. The woman was muttering incomprehensibly, one arm broken and held at an unnatural angle, quivering, the air thick, heavy and hot...and everywhere reeked of salty-iron. Of the distinct smell of blood.

"You're Jayd, right? We got a distress call." said a medic, approaching Jayd as Tak stood by his side, the medic shaking Jayd's gauntleted hands with his own. "Thank Irk you came when you did. We really need the help!"

"This man's pulse is threading, he's bleeding SOMEWHERE but I can't tell!" said a female medic nearby who was tending to a man that had to be laid on a desk because all the beds and operating tables were full. She tilted his head back a bit, her slightly lighter red eyes full of concern, biting her lip. She wasn't a normal medic, she had the clothing but not the nanogenes Jayd and others had. Evidently a new recruit? "We're losing him!"

"Standard triage." Jayd reasoned, quickly breaking the first medic's handshake and whisking over to the Australian patient on the desk. "And I'll need 15 milligrams of inaprovaline." He said, turning back to the first medic.

"Tak, I want to take a look at the ships you're using for transporting patients." Gaz reasoned. "I think I could make some improvements."

"Fine, ANYTHING as long as you're out of the way of the doctors." Tak reasoned, heading over to the patient that was slumped by Dib. "Dib, can you help take this man into surgery? It's over there." She said, pointing down the hall and into a secondary corridor not too far away.

Dib could see a nurse gently leading a young girl who's arm was in a sling down the hall past several other medics who were scrambling about, trying to get supplies and treatment for patients. "Now, now, sweetie, we'll find your "maneem" soon. So-sorry, I mean mommy." The Irken nurse offered. Dib noticed the female medic's outfit was torn in places, and a laser burn was on her cheek. Several Irken soldiers were standing guard by some fire exits, looking nervously around, all of THEM had blast marks on their armor too.

"OCCASIONALLY a couple of Australian resistance fighters made their way into the hospital and we had to fight them off when they demanded we hand over the patients. We tried to explain they were too sick to move. That's how the place got so badly damaged." Tak remarked. "You're speaking to one of the fighters. And he's VERY LUCKY we're willing to give him ANY treatment." She added coldly, looking down at the brown-haired man who looked away slightly. "You remember this, human. Irkens...saved your life."

And with that, Dib took the man's free hand, carefully leading him down the hall as he slightly staggered about. "Come on. Let's get you onto an operating table..." He mumbled.

"How come you're with these...bugs, kid? They kidnap you?" The australian asked, looking as intrigued as he could through the pain.

"The leader of the invasion is my new "master"." Dib grunted out as they turned the corner, heading into the O.R, which some janitors were now scrubbing free of as much blood and grime as they could to get another operating table clean. "Senior's his name."

"Oh yes, the green-eyed one, the former communications officer, mister "Messiah"." The australian laughed. "Oh, the Irkens talked a lot about him down under, or rather, down here!" He sniggered. "Oh, he's trying to help you poor little humans, you should let us, we'll be wonderful for your planet, we'll cure all your diseases and ills and end crime"! And all it'll cost is our freedom and our souls. I don't wanna live knowing I could get plucked off the streets, shrunk and swallowed at any time. Do you?"

"Not really, though..." He thought back to that experience with May. "...though there was this one time when it felt kinda nice being right between this woman's breasts. It was so UNUSUAL and strange, yet...so intimate." He confessed.

"Ya gotta be careful, kid. I think yer in the wrong game. They're getting ya mixed up, tryin' to give you a taste of their honey so what they're doin' sounds nice. CRIKEY, kid, don't let 'em brainwash ya." The australian insisted as Dib finally handed him off to some other medics. "You'll come visit me later, right?"

"Sure. What's your name?"

"Steven. Mum named me afta the Crocodile Hunter. Used to really love that show." He laughed, waving goodbye as best he could before being laid on a table, Dib heading back...seeing a man had slumped down onto the floor, evidently trying to reach the OR on his own.

"Holy crap! I need some help over here!" He called out, racing to the young man's side, his forehead matted with blood, his eyes closed, a deep wound visible on his skull. Dib touched his neck, feeling for a pulse. It was...it...

A medic knelt down, holding up a scanner. The same medic from before that he'd taken notice of, the female with slightly lighter red eyes. "i'm afraid there isn't anything we can do. He's just too far gone. Lost too much blood and his body wouldn't survive any operation." She said quietly. "Help me move him." She added, seeing Dib's falling face. "We...need to make sure other patients can get into the OR."

Dib quietly nodded, lifting the frail body up with the medic, bringing him down the hall, and into a room where many other forms laid. He shuddered at all the BAGS there, the big, dark black body bags each were placed within. The medic sighed a bit, carefully placing the newest one down onto the floor and getting out a new body bag as Dib turned away, and waited for her to fit the corpse inside.

A few minutes later, she left the room with Dib, the medic gently putting a hand on his back as she led the glasses-wearing young lad out, Dib looking mortified as they approached a new patient. "Take deep breaths. DEEP breaths, alright?" She reasoned softly. "I know what you just saw is awful. Horrifying. But you need to stay calm." She whispered back. "My name's Tenn. And you're Dib, right?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Skoodge has written me about you and Gaz. He says you're a really nice kid. I'm glad I got to meet you. Now let's take a look at our new patient, okay? See how we can help him?" She asked, as they approached not a human patient...but an Irken one. A soldier who had a clear, obvious injury on his right foot, he'd taken a NASTY shot to it. "Hmm. Could have been much worse." She told the yellow-eyed Irken soldier as his well-built chest rose and fall, his antannae thick and blocky as he cringed a bit.

"I was stepping over a human, thought he was dead. He caught me right in the foot." The Irken cringed. "These humans, they...they tore through my platoon outside. LITERALLY, they...they began picking them up and...and ripping them apart like they were tissue paper. Then they got all dizzy and couldn't stand up straight."

"Yes, they aren't used to the size changing on that scale. They can only get to a macro level for 15 minutes." Tenn admitted, looking over the wound with her scanner as Dib listened eagerly to the soldier's tale. "What happened next?"

"They fell over. HARD. Crushed a civic center and a few of their own men. So what few of us remained tried to rally back, fire on the surprised resistance fighters. Myself included. That's when I got the injury." The Irken said, pointing at his blasted foot. "But then they got reinforcements and we had to run. They're just so MANY of them. These "ANZAC" soldiers, they're terrifyingly tough."

"...this is quite a bad laser burn." said Tenn softly. "You sit tight, we'll get to you as soon as we can." She offered, leading Dib away, and speaking VERY quietly. "I don't believe his story. The injury is from one of our own Vortian pistol lasers, it always leaves a distinctive impact AND smell. And the resistance only has stolen Irken rifles and the like. They haven't had the time to get Vortian pistols. And if he WAS stepping over a human, wouldn't the human have tried to hit his leg or chest or head, not his FOOT?" She added.

"You think he shot himself?" Dib whispered back, amber/gold eyes widening behind his glasses.

"Yes." Tenn murmured. "And...well...doing that means he'd be charged with attempted desertion. Treason." She quietly mumbled. "And...even now, under our new leadership, that means harsh penalties."

"They won't KILL him, will they?"

"I don't know. Tak's the one primarily in charge of military codes of conduct now, including punishment. If she thinks it's appropriate...well, then..." Tenn shrugged. "Come on. I could use your help carrying more patients to the OR." She asked of him. "For starters, let's get you into something better than this." She added, gesturing at his jacket and normal attire.

"Yeah. Sure." Dib muttered.

...

...

...

...the hours seemed to blend together. He carried patient after patient around, into the OR, into newly-available patient beds. Occasionally, Dib would have to endure the awful,rotten THA-THUD to his chest that came from seeing a new dead human or Irken patient. Gaz was currently finishing up her inspections of the ships, having gotten all the data she wanted for their plans, and was talking now to Tak on ways to improve the ship's speeds, the laser grids, and, of course...transforming said ships into giant attack robots.

Tak approved of the ideas, then asked Gaz to start helping Dib with the patients. Dib would have been lying if he had said he didn't get SOME satisfaction from seeing Miss "It's just a little blood" become less and less calm and calculated as more and more patients were ferried around the hospital. Especially when, soon enough, the scrubs she had to wear were getting soaked with bloodstains like Dib's from some "real squirters" as Gaz put it.

"Her attempt at humor was an obvious defense mechanism." Jayd mumbled as Gaz headed out the door, putting the last bandages on the female human patient before him, looking over her to Dib. "And it is failing her."

"How can you tell?"

"Gaz has never been in any real, genuine danger or real, true, stress. Now she is. She's in the ocean, and she's drowning." Jayd reasoned with a deep sigh. "You're dealing with it far better, you faced Zim on an almost regular basis, faced true, genuine peril. You're stronger than your sister where it counts. Times like this allow the true self to shine through."

"What makes you so sure that she's breaking down inside?" Dib asked.

"Next time she comes in, I want you to look at her hands." Jayd quietly mumbled.

Not too long after that, it was, at last, a lull in the action. And time for everyone to unwind a little, and to eat. The patients were, at the moment, stablizied...or too far gone to be helped. So they were taking eating shifts, half the doctors would be standing guard over the patients and the hospital with the actual soldiers and guards, the rest would be eating in the cafeteria. Dib sat down with Jayd and Tenn, not too far from Tak as she spoke with Gaz.

"Their bodies are very fragile, that's for sure." Tak admitted. "Then again, who are we to talk when it comes to fragility? A good blow to our ego seems to cripple us." She added, waving a fork around in the air. "Seeing those humans using the stolen size-changing tech has severely demoralized my troops, we lost a big advantage. Irkens aren't used to losing, and when we do..."

"Yeah, nobody likes to lose." Gaz quietly said. Dib noticed the hands she was using to cut into her turkey. They were very slightly shaking.

"It's a shame my race STILL can't fully enjoy Earthen meats, but on the other hand, your baked goods are very, very enjoyable." Tak reasoned, holding up a loaf of bread with some peanut butter and jelly on her plate. "I think I'll start with a "lateral incision" on my peanut butter." She joked.

And that's when Gaz began to gag. "Uhoh." Tak said, Tenn quickly bounding up.

"C'mon, quick, quick, to the bathroom!" She cried out, Gaz racing along with her for the bathroom at top speed as Tak sighed a bit.

"Ahh. I remember MY first day after seeing real injuries and death. Our training on Irk could get very...unpleasant." She said wistfully, resting her head on her palm, looking over at Dib as he munched slowly on HIS turkey. "I didn't vomit after it was done. But I did feel very clammy. You get over it quickly, of course. You have to."

"OH GOD- **BLLLEEEEAAAAUUUUUUGGGHKKKK**! OH SWEET JESUS- **BLAAAAUUUGGHHHKK**!" Gaz's cries rang out from the bathroom, along with ugly, foul, wet noises. Dib was suddenly feeling a lot less hungry as he hung his head a little, quietly looking down at his turkey and gravy, and absentmindedly swishing it around with a spoon.

"Try to focus on the positive." Jayd offered warmly to Dib. "We'll be able to begin moving patients into the cloaked ships, and bringing them out now that they're finally all stablized. We're in the home stretch, as you humans put it."

"There were a LOT of, um...hand to hand wounds." Dib spoke up, his voice rather quiet.

"Oh, yeah. That's because we started getting good at breaking their weapons." Tak now allowed pride to enter her voice as her spirits seemed to lift. "Especially with me now helping them at the front lines of defense. When these "ANZAC" Australian soldiers lose their guns, they resort to hand to hand. Lots of knife wounds. And if I ever hear "that's not a knife, THIS is a knife" ever again, I'm going to shoot the person who makes that joke." She added with a snort. "Mind you, it was pretty funny the way MINE was bigger than theirs. Their facial expressions were priceless. But then they started with the biting..."

"Yeah...Australia LOVES bites." Tenn admitted. "And I don't just mean the people, every animal here seems to love biting us, from the kangaroos to the wombats to the koalas to the opossums. Before all this went down, that was the most common injury I was treating. Koala bite wounds. Oh, they're CUTE alright, they're fuzzy and lovely and they have jaws of steel!" She added darkly, ripping her PB&J sandwich apart with her teeth with very thinly disguised ferocity.

Dib wondered if any of them knew, really knew, how frightened he was. All Dib could think about was "what happens if the resistance outside tries to get in again"? The others didn't seem to be worried as he was. No one else seemed to be losing sleep over it, so why was it the only thing he could think about? Dib had been in danger, attacked by Zim plenty of times, yet...the danger seemed different here. Almost more real, because this wasn't a fight against a singular enemy he knew fairly well, an enemy he could, to some degree, predict. This was different. This was his own kind. And maybe, after so many hours of seeing what his people could do...maybe that was why he was so afraid.

It was then that the power fluctuated, the lights flickering on and off before shutting down, a red glow lighting up the room as backup lights kicked in.

"DAMN IT! The generator's failing us!" Tak angrily yelled out, Irkens running about, a panicked undercurrent failing bristling in her tone. "And that was our second backup generator, we don't have any more!"

"We could use our ship's power core as a spare." Gaz reasoned, speaking up as she thoughtfully rubbed her chin, closing her eyes. "OUR ship's a bit more powerful in terms of raw conductive energy from the power core than the other ships you have parked nearby. Only the best, after all, for Senior's handpicked staff."

"Well. Looks like I've another reason to be glad you came." Tak said with a chuckle. "Get back to the ship. Take out the power core. Just follow the route you took before, we'll be waiting. Tenn, go with Jayd and Gaz."

"Of course. Not a problem." Tenn said with a firm nod and a salute, as Dib and Gaz and Jayd took off, running through the halls, heading to the tunnelway entrance that led out to the streets of Melbourne. The air outside had gotten that horrifying, all-too-familiar "before the storm" feeling, and Gaz glanced about.

"Someone's trying to grow large again. We've got to keep our eyes peeled." She insisted. They moved from building to building, keeping close to the alleyways, tense and nervous, Dib pointing at a southwestern corner of the city.

"There. We parked the modified Voot Runner there, just beyond that library." He said, Tenn nodding before her eyes glanced up at something in the distance.

"OH!"

They looked up. One of the ANZAC soldiers had indeed grown to huge heights, and he was on in a bitched battle with some Spittle Runners that were zipping around him, trying to knock him down, to blast him apart. They weren't doing too well though, one had already been knocked clean through the air, another torn into chunks, and a third had spiralled around and around...missiles flying through the skies, slamming all around Melbourne.

Including nearby them! With a mighty KRAKKA-THA-SHOOOM gravel and granite and chunks of sidewalk were tossed everywhere, Gaz letting out a cry, grabbing at her eye as Jayd pulled her to the side and Tenn tugged Dib towards the ship. "C'mon, we've got to get you out of here, Dib!" She yelled, she and Dib racing along as another misfired missile slammed into a building across the way,chunks of wall and window soaring about.

KRA-KOOOM! KRA-KOOM! Now laser fire was being shot at the gigantic human, who angrily slapped and swung at the desperate Spittle Runners. They were hurting him, sure, but now ANOTHER human was growing to immense size, and the laser shots were soaring wild as these new Spittle Runners too were sent spiralling around, their shots going far off course.

"CRAAAAAAAAAAP!" Dib screamed out, feeling gravel exploding all around him from laser fire.

Dib and Tenn scrambled as fast as they could, adreline pumping through Dib's veins as he barreled at the ship with Tenn, another explosion rocking the ground around him. They clung tightly to the ground and to the walls of various buildings. "C'mon, Dib!" Tenn called, hiding behind a pillar of a garage, now very close to the library as Dib bolted across the steeet. And then-

 **THA-BOOOOOM!**

Dib went flying, slamming into some bushes not far from the ship. For a brief moment, absolutely nothing existed but pure whiteness that infested his vision. His ears were thundering, his body was wracked with agonizing pain, like many knives sticking in all at once, and then...he was back to normal, lying against the modified Voot Runner, Tenn nearby, lying against the power core.

"G-Glad you're...alright..." She muttered out, her eyes half open. "I managed to...g-get the...power core out and...dr-drag you over here." She mumbled. "There's a...medkit in the...ship. You can...treat your injury." The female Irken went on, Dib realizing he had a nasty gash across his head. He nodded, looking thankfully at Tenn and heading into the ship...but as he passed by Tenn, he noticed an ugly, **awful** wound in her side.

As he put bandaging around his wound he brought out an anesthesia spray and held it up for Tenn, seeing her body was beginning to heavily sweat, her skin becoming pale. "You need this more than me." He insisted.

"...s-save it." She whispered. "...my...PAK also got damaged." She mumbled, turning around so Dib could see her more fully, and see that her PAK had been partially crushed. "It got hit by debris from one of the explosions. The life support has failed. I can't just...heal myself. And I can barely stay awake."

"I'll...I'll carry you!" Dib reasoned, kneeling down by her wound as she shook her head.

"You try and...and my guts'll get all over you." Tenn muttered. "Its alright. J-Just get the...get the power core to the hospital. The patients come first. They always have to come first."

"I can't just-just leave you here to die!" Dib insisted, a forboding creeping horror slowly swelling up within him as he shook his head back and forth. "You're a _nurse_ , you're...you're not like the rest of them, you don't deserve-"

Tenn quietly closed her eyes and drew in a harsh breath, Dib flinching. "Sorry, I just-"

"I KNOW you hate us for invading your planet. You think I can't tell? I'D hate me if I was in your shoes." Tenn said, her voice getting quieter. "Its okay to be mad. Really. I don't mind if you hate me. I'm just...glad I could die in the service of the Empire." She mumbled. "And...an empire that actually cares if I do die. Tallests Red and Purple abandoned me on Meekrob with wild SIR units...Skoodge got me off the planet. Senior got me a good post. I was...happy." She muttered, beginning to slide down.

"C'mon, d-don't fall over." Dib mumbled, his voice becoming panicked as he tried to hold her head up, Tenn's soft pink eyes gazing up at the skies above, the skies beginning to turn orangish/red as sunset began to settle. "You're gonna be alright, I...I..." He began to lose his voice. He couldn't finish the sentence.

"Your planet really is pretty." Tenn muttered. "...I know I...whined about all those bites, but...it really is so pretty. So...pretty..."

Dib held her tightly, watching as her eyes kept staring up at the blue sky. He watched for a long, long time as the light had faded, her breathing finally fading. He bit into his lip, hanging his head, cringing slightly before he lifted up the power core, and took in a deep breath, barreling off for the hospital again.

The streets were quiet. Everything was silent. Even as he entered the hospital, power core in his arms, all was still. Because he kept seeing Tenn's face in front of him. And feeling the moment her breathing had stopped, that point where her body had gotten so much less warm when he'd tried to hold her head up. People were speaking to him, trying to congratulate him, but he couldn't hear anything.

He just sat in a chair, head bowed, clutching at his skull. His eyes remained open behind his cracked glasses, his heartbeat slowly rising in his ears, and then...

Then suddenly a thought came to him. Jayd had been with Gaz. And Gaz had-

 _GAZ._

 **"GAZ!"** His head shot up, people scurrying around, calls for more medicine, to move a machine filling the air, and he saw Tak looking down at him. "Tak, where's Gaz?"

Tak could see his expression, and Dib knew she wanted to ask about Tenn, but instead she sighed, taking Dib by the hand and leading him into the cafeteria. Jayd was stepping away from Gaz, one hand resting on her shoulder. "You alright?" He inquired of her.

Gaz was now missing one eye. It was now a big, faintly green patch, tiny little nanogenes scurrying around inside of the wound as she slowly looked up at him. "It feels so...weird." She said in a soft voice. "It's like...like little tiny balls are swirling around in my eye socket. Soft, furry little balls that make it tingle." She mumbled out, her clothing covered in soot and grime from being caught in the explosion that had torn deep into her eye, and leaving some scarring around the socket.

"...Gaz..." Dib whispered, racing over to her as she looked over at him. "Gaz, your...your eye..."

"Could be worse." She said, trying to smile, and managing to surprise Dib by succeeding. "You look WAY more freaked out than I am." Gaz added with a bit of a grin. "I'm gonna put in for a robo-eye when we get home. Gonna be so cool. I want something big and red and onyx!" She reasoned...but Dib could see her hands were slightly shaking in her lap. "So what happened with you and Tenn? You get the power core?"

"I brought it back. Tenn got...hit in her PAK. She basically bled out." Dib mumbled out as he turned to Jayd, then to Tak. "I'm really sorry. Her body's back at the ship."

Jayd quietly pinched the space between his eyes, sighing a bit. Tak looked momentarily stunned before clearing her throat. "Well. She managed to save you, clearly. And you got the power core. We're almost done with the patients. We should be free to leave in an hour, to take them with us and get out of this city."

Dib nodded back in return, sitting by Gaz as Jayd looked at him, Tak going off to keep up her work. "Shall I get you a drink?" He asked the two.

"Just a chocolate milk." Gaz said.

"...yeah, same." Dib said, Jayd walking off as the two siblings stood by each other, Dib biting into his lip. "...I'm sure you'll look really cool with a metal eye."

"Yeah. I'm sure." Gaz said, trying to sound nonchalant. "So...wow. All this sure is crazy."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Silence for a few moments. Dib chewed over his lip. Then, at last, he spoke up. "I feel like a coward." He grunted. "I wanted to bring Tenn back too. But she insisted I go bring the power core and leave her."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Gaz remarked. "...you really are feeling a lot more sympathy for our evil alien overlords, aren't you?"

"Every single time I think of them as one way, it's like...something comes along to challenge how I feel about them." Dib muttered back as Gaz looked him squarely in the eye. "I thought they were all like Zim. I thought they were stupid and incompetent, thought they were heartless and cruel. I thought they didn't care about each other, didn't really care about other races. I thought they couldn't appreciate Earth and just wanted it like a trophy. Yet I keep seeing...that isn't really true. They're so much like...ME, in a way." He admitted. "And that makes me so...I feel so uncomfortable and...I dunno how I feel. I just know I don't feel like I used to."

"Yeah...honestly? Me too." Gaz mumbled. "Jayd was holding my hand all through this." She said, poking at her nanogene-filled eye wound. "He looked so...scared. It was kinda touching to see how scared he was for me when he was pulling me back to the hospital, he carried me in his arms, and he kept whispering and begging for me to 'stay with him'." She sighed and tugged at her hair, shaking her head back and forth. "FUCK. FUCK, I...I don't know what I feel now either. I used to not care if any of them died. Now I think I'm gonna feel a little bad about it."

"Yeah."

"And you know, we could all die here. Tak was telling me that the ANZAC soldiers learned of our plan. They've begun amassing their forces, they're gonna try and take the hospital. So all this?" She gestured all around her as Jayd approached them, carrying two chocolate milks he set down. "All could be for nothing. They could bring the whole place down and we'd be crushed."

"Or they could blast us with stolen Irken weapons." Jayd offered.

"That sounds pretty quick." Gaz remarked.

"Well, some people think its like being boiled alive." Jayd reasoned as Dib cringed. "They could just go for their knives. Mauled to death by malee boys. What a very depressing thought."

"None of it'll matter." Dib mumbled out. "In ten years, nobody's gonna remember this one bit."

"...you might be right." Jayd sighed as he sat down too. "Most people won't remember. But I think you two will." He told them. "And I know I will. I remember every patient I treat." He said with a soft nod. "I owe it to them."

He then hesitated, then turned to Dib. "You said Tenn's body is by the ship?"

"Yeah, it's by the ship."

"...Skoodge'll want us to bring her back for a burial." Jayd quietly intoned. "...he was very very fond of her. I think, after all this, they'd wanted to..." He trailed off, and looked down at his gauntlets. "...I have so much power. If only I could heal death. The ONE thing these nanogenes can't do. And believe me, I tried." He mumbled.

"You tried to bring someone back from the dead?" Dib asked, now sounding very surprised, Gaz looking fascinated, the two leaning in as Jayd nodded, clasping his gauntleted hands together as he began to explain the story.

"It was Tallest Miyuki. Zim's big ol' "Infinite Energy Absorbing Blob" had swallowed her and Spork up, and the blob had come back. It had attacked the Massive. We figured out how to hurt it. My nanogenes evidently had a unique radiation field that, while beneficial to a vast majority of organic life, was ANATHEMA to it. It tried to suck me down and it ended up puking me and a whole bunch of other people out, and Miyuki included. And for a few weeks, she was back. Sick, yes, but...back."

Jayd bit into his lip. "Senior was so, so happy. She'd been like his favorite sister to him. We were chatting it up in the cafeteria, talking about what we'd been up to, getting to know her all over again. And we were so pysched, because we thought "YES. Tallest Red and Purple will HAVE to step down, she's taller than they are and so much better"! It was perfect! For...three weeks." He sighed, his antannae hanging low. "And then she just...didn't wake up."

Dib was silent, Gaz letting out a quiet whistle as Jayd sighed deeply. "I guess...she only held on that long because she really cared about us. She wanted to see how far we'd all come. How well Senior was doing, the good friends he'd made. And he was just so sad, he'd...he'd lost her all over again. And I just didn't want his heart to break over her. Not twice. So I did something I'd never done. I tried to pump life back into her. I had the nanogenes flooding through her, and for a few minutes, she was back." He held up his gauntleted hands. "She couldn't see too well, but Senior was hugging her, and crying, and he was so happy, but then..."

Jayd sighed again. "She realized it wasn't right. SHE wasn't right. That all she was was now a shell. And that Senior had to let go. He finally did. And I...I realized there were limits to what even I could do." He said, flexing his gauntlet's claws and shaking his head. "All this power, and yet..."

"All you can think about is "Could I have done something? What could I have done different that would have saved them"?" Dib asked, as Jayd turned to him and nodded.

"There's not really any good answers." He admitted. "But that's what being a medic means. It means sometimes you have to accept there isn't a good answer."

Dib nodded as Jayd held out a hand, and took Dib's. "If you'd like to talk...I can ask Darth to set up a counseling session. And Gaz, if you'd like someone to talk to about everything you're feeling..."

"I'm fine." Gaz said with a dismissive shake of her head, Dib looking back into Jayd's eyes.

"Thanks." He finally said. "Thanks a lot."

Within an hour, they had moved the last of the patients, and were on their way back home. All three sat quietly in silence as the Voot Runner shot back to the United States, Melbourne vanishing in a big, horrific flash of light as Tak made good on her promise, raining down fire and fury upon the city, as any Australian rebels who hadn't took off out of the place were destroyed by the hail of plasma fury. Tenn's frame laid quietly in the back, her eyes closed, curled up slightly on a little patient cot they'd brought. She could have been sleeping.

"...well. Merry Christmas." Gaz said with a bitter smile.

"Merry Christmas, Gaz." Dib sighed back. "And God bless us, every one. I know I'm definitely gonna need it. Along with years of therapy, probably."

"Let's go see Dad when we get back." Gaz reasoned, Dib perking his head up a bit, her tone getting slightly softer. "I think maybe a nice quiet night home with him will help."

"Yeah. Good idea." Dib said, closing his eyes and leaning back in his seat, sighing a little as, for some strange reason, the smell of PB&J danced about in his nostrils, and he dreamt uneasy, unsettling dreams that he couldn't quite remember when he awoke, at last, back at home, lying on the couch, Gaz sitting across from him and waiting for their father to walk in the door.

Dib would never again eat peanut butter and jelly. From then on, the mere smell made him sick.


	7. You're Not Perfect

**Author's Note:**

 **I've enjoyed seeing people's reviews, but I wanna address something. Some people may think I'm slightly idealizing Dib and perhaps unfairly demonizing Zim or Gaz. I could easily make the argument "Have you SEEN how they acted in the show, it's not that much an exaggeration", but...I can indeed be too harsh towards them. And in recent stories I've tried to be easier on Gaz since she's about Dib's age and she doesn't quite know much better. Now, granted, DIB never tried to destroy all human life with an overshook can, but...still. Enjoy!**

It had been a very lovely funeral. Tenn had been given a _proper_ sendoff. Skoodge had stayed by Senior's side, watching intently, unblinking, his eyes seemingly sunken as Tak had eulogized former Invader turned Nurse Tenn. She'd been given a beautiful draped-over cloth casket and her PAK removed. It would be preserved along with other PAKs of the deceased, according to Tak, in the "Hall of the Fallen" on the moon of Irk, whilst Tenn's body was burned before them in a big bonfire.

Dib had seen Senior gently squeezing Skoodge's shoulder as the fire softly crackled and burned away Tenn's frame, the smell hitting his nostrils hard, smelling like bad roasted sunflower seeds as he cringed, and Skoodge finally allowed a tear to trickle down his cheek as he hung his head. The last bit of snow from that week's weekend flurries fluttered by Dib as Skoodge headed back to his home, giving the still-imprisoned-in-a-ball Zim to Dib.

"Is that PITY I see in your eyes?" Zim asked, sounding positively astounded at the look on Dib's face as he stood by the bonfire with Tak. " **You?** Pitying an Irken?! How...how crass! How low! Tenn would not want your pity!"

"Shut up." Dib grunted, stuffing Zim in his pocket with a THRUMPH and frowning as Tak looked over at him. "I just wish I'd been a bit quicker. Tenn might not have gotten hit by that-"

Tak glowered at him a little. "Yes. If you **had** been a bit more careful, she might still be alive." She grunted darkly. "...nevertheless, though I've lost a good comrade and an excellent nurse and soldier, Senior said you're beating yourself up enough, so I should go easy on you."

She then smacked him in the face. He held his cheek, as it stung horribly, a bit of blood drizzling down from the open cut that now laid across it as she turned away from him to look at where Tenn's body had laid out in the park. "So there. That's my going easy on you. Now get out of here." She snarled.

With that, Dib left her alone, walking back to the Massive with Senior and Gaz by his side, Gaz now having a distinctly metallic eye. It looked rather impressive now, with an onyx frame, a red set of synthetic veins snaking in and out of her blown-open socket, with an unnatural red pupil that seemed to faintly pulsate, made up of a tiny string of ones and zeroes. She had lowered her winter hat over it...the weather made the metal eye chill the inside of her skull. Senior, meanwhile, had been absolutely silent as Dib finally returned to the Massive, and walked with Senior to the bridge as the green-eyed communications officer-turned head of the Irken Empire held his head in one hand.

"...are you going to be okay?"

"I _have_ to be." Senior mumbled. "I have to be strong. Even if this HAS been one of the most unpleasant, awful days of my life. And its even worse for Skoodge. He was...I mean...in love with her. Now he can't act on that like he wanted to." Senior mumbled. "I'm gonna have Darth do some counseling with him. I recommend you take some too."

He chuckled wryly. "Darth, in fact, has recommended some very interesting treatments. He says psychiatry therapy rooms ought to bring a sense of "returning to the womb". People feel safer when that's being simulated. Usually the best way is through nice, big blankets. But he, instead, suggested-"

"Waaaaaait a minute." Dib's eyes went wide. "You don't mean..."

"Well, we've got shrinking tech, and a whole lot of perfectly willing females. So, yes. And, evidently...it works. You would not believe how much childhood trauma was in some of our crew's lives that could be properly worked out thanks to some "special sessions"."

Indeed, Red and Purple were now in GROUP therapy with an orange-eyed guard, Peech, and a red-eyed and yellow-eyed pair of female Irkens who were speaking with Darth as he nonchalantly leaned back against the fleshy wall behind him, the others nodding in agreement. "I just don't understand the stigma attached to relationships like ours." Red sighed as he laid a hand over Purple's own, as the female Irkens nodded in agreement. "I mean, if **women** want to make out, all these people seem to think its hot! But for us, its...gross. It's so debilitating! It's such a double standard!"

"Yeah!" Purple proclaimed, his expression mournful and dejected. "It's like they think men can't have real, strong emotional ties! They don't know that strong men also cry. They don't know our love for each other can be just as beautiful as any woman's love. It's not fair that OUR relationship is "gross" and "unnatural" whilst yours gets looked at as hot." He told Dite, as the red-eyed elite guard nodded a bit, and the white-eyed Darth warmly smiled, balled antannae bouncing up and down.

"There, there. Hug time." He announced, everyone leaning in, giving each other a big group hug. "Remember; its not your fault you are who you are, and there's nothing wrong with loving who you love."

"Thank goodness I'm used to having Irkens inside me." said their "patron" as the female Irken glanced up at the wall clock. "Hurry it up, your group session's almost over!" She announced to the party tucked away within her most private zone. "Then I have a family therapy session to prepare for."

"Wow, that's...really weird." Dib mumbled. "I, uh...don't think I'd be alright with being shrunk and stuck inside someone's privates."

"That's alright. I think, honestly, his OTHER treatment idea would work well for you. And the Plooskians agreed to it as well!" Senior offered as Dib's eyes went wide behind his glasses. Wait. The PLOOSKIANS? That could only mean-

"You mean our old Counselor Dwicky's gonna be called in? You got him working for you?" Dib asked as Senior smiled, nodding.

"Yes. He's a very kind man. I've actually decided to schedule a few sessions with him myself. I'll set up some appointments for you." He went on with a nod. "But I'd like to enjoy a little snack first."

Dib had a feeling he knew what Senior was going to ask for. "Um...you mean some...c-comfort food?" He inquired with a nervous laugh as Senior chuckled.

"Yes, I can't help it. I just do so love the taste of humans." He admitted. "But you're probably hungry yourself. So I'll let you go to the Massive's cafeteria for something of your own. But be sure to come to my room in half an hour." He added with a nod as he rose up from his chair, heading for his room.

It wasn't long before Dib found himself back in Senior's room, AND in his palm, as the green-eyed Irken gently patted his head. A large tray of full-bellied human kids laid nearby, all looking as stuffed as Dib was, from Zita to Gretchen to Keef. "I "ordered out"." The new head of the Irken Empire said. "I'm going to swallow you down last, Dib."

Dib watched as Senior gently, tenderly lifted up Sara, smiling warmly at her. "Have you been enjoying your time with Darth?"

"He is a very kind master, admittedly." Sara confessed as Senior nodded.

"He is a "great holy man" indeed." He told Sara. "He has great respect for your world's faiths. And I thank you for helping him in Bible study. He's told me you're his best pupil in the group."

"Well, I try!" Sara said with a little nod as Senior parted its jaws and chucked the child straight into them without a moment to lose. GLORMPF. He snapped it shut, the tongue softly shifting and licking all over Sara, tickling her, slathering her in saliva within the warm maw. Senior let out a soft moan, clearly enjoying the taste of Sara before he gave a GLA-GLUG of a gulp. He easily sucked Sara down his throat, her body making a little bulge in his throat that slid down into his waiting stomach, plopping on down as Senior chuckled happy, patting over his belly, Sara's voice faintly coming out from within. "Should I squirm about?"

"If you'd like to. I don't mind. I find the struggling actually quite pleasant!" Senior sheepishly admitted. "It sort of ties into my Irken instincts of wanting to be powerful over others to feel you in there." He blushed a bit, turning to the other children. "Down the hatch!" He added.

One by one, each of them were swallowed up before only Dib was left, but instead of swallowing HIM down, Senior just held him in his palm. "You know, I'm also worried about Lard Nar coming soon. He's supposed to give me a report on the adjustments made to our fleet's ships. The adjustments your sister recommended? I saw all the tech specs, so much of it flew over my head."

"She's really smart when she wants to be. She was just **bored** in school. She never felt challenged, I guess." Dib said with a shrug. "So she withdrew into stuff she felt DID challenge her; video games."

"I just hope the ships won't unexpectedly explode or anything." Senior remarked. "It'd be humiliating to be preparing for this big battle, then, when you try to access the robot transformation sequence...the whole thing just blows up."

Dib laughed. "No, no of course not! That'd just be ridiculous." He snorted. But, inwardly, he knew that was exactly what Gaz had designed the ships to do. And since the VORTIANS were the ones overseeing the repairs and the work on the ship, they knew perfectly well that was what would happen. They'd all go kaboom...right after turning into big, gigantic genitals as a final "fuck you" from Gaz.

He wondered if, as he was tenderly tossed into Senior's maw if, perhaps, Gaz would do well in therapy.

Definitely not in **group** , that was for sure.

GULP!

...

...

...

... "So. Tell me about how you tried to bring the dead back to life."

After years of not seeing Dwicky again, and weeks of waiting, Dib was, at last, meeting with the old school counselor. Mr. Dwicky's black hair was slightly a mess, a five o'clock shadow on his face as he sat in a big leather chair, wearing a longsleeve white shirt with blue jeans. He was smiling cheerily, Dib looking up at him, a clock softly ticking on the wall in the office they were in. None other than DWICKY's old office, now immensely improved, along with the school. The kids didn't have to worry about homework or the like, and their classes were much shorter, and on specific types of topics best suited for what their families now did, a fairly welcome change to most of them...since it meant less time in school.

Of course, they DID have to sit through that irritating teacher, the olive-green-skinned Irken named Wiyn, a hooded, dark green-eyed, terrifyingly imposing Irken who wore thick gloves and boots and had a a manner about her that filled Dib with fear almost as bad as Bitters could be. But at least with Bitters he'd somewhat known what she was. The Devil he knew. Wiyn was new, terrible and terrifying, and enjoyed informing the students far, FAR too much that the proper place for humans was under the boots or in the bellies of Irkens...

And if anyone spoke out of turn she'd swallow them. Nobody spoke up, of course. Not after what happened to poor Tommy Chestnut! There was only one real crime left on the Earth now...disobeying the Irkens. And the punishment was _unspeakable_ if you were on Wiyn's bad side.

"Stooop! STOOOOOPPP!" Iggins sobbed out, poor Tommy Chestnut's punishment having been meted out in front of them all, Dib's eyes bulging behind his glasses. "HE'S ALREADY DEAAAAD!"

"I can't feel my legs. Or my face. Or my butt." Tommy squeaked out.

"Yes, filthy human, and your head was also facing 90 degrees to the right for...hmm." Wiyn checked the clock. "9 minutes straight."

"That explains my sore neck." He squeaked out.

"You'll get your other rib back when you apologize, and write 100 times on the board "I Will Not Interrupt My Irken Superior, Wiyn". In your own blood. Which you'll clean up later in Detention. Luckily, you're bleeding so much, you'll have plenty of it to write with! Hopefully before you pass out from blood loss."

"Yes."

"Yes MA'AM."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

Still, Dib wasn't sure he'd rather be here than in Wiyn's class. Zim been forced to go to therapy sessions and he had evidently been deeply, **deeply** shaken by whatever Dwicky had said. He was now, at the moment, banging his head into his little capsule cage, stuck at Skoodge's house because he wouldn't stop repeating "I hate myself! But I only like me! I hate myself! But I only like me!" Not even Lik A Maid candy could cheer him up or get him to say anything else.

If Dwicky could break Zim...

"I'd rather not talk about it. It involves the one time I used Gaz in an experiment and she didn't forgive me for it-well...she HASN'T forgiven me for it. I think it's one of the reasons she hated me for so long. But it's not a big deal to me, really. Can we talk about about something-"

BOP.

Dwicky had brought a NERF gun, and a bullet bounced clean off Dib's face. "...what the?" Dib stared stupidly at the counselor.

"Every time you won't be honest with yourself, or me...I'll shoot you." Dwicky cheerily intoned.

"C'mon, really, it was just a dumb bit of alchemical necromancy." Dib mumbled quietly, head slightly bowed, looking to side.

BOP-BOP! Two shots bouncing off his face as Dib grunted, looking back up.

"Come on, Dib. This is a safe space. Nobody's going to insult you. Nobody will make fun of you. You can talk to me about this sort of thing."

"I don't think I-"

BOP-BOP!

"...alright, look!" Dib threw his hands in the air. "I was trying to bring Mom back, okay?! I used Gaz's blood to try and make up this alchemical seal and tried to summon Mom." Dib groaned out as he folded his arms over his chest and crossed his legs and looked churlishly off to the side. "When she was gone, we were hurt. REALLY, really hurt. So I came up with the idea after doing a buttload of reading into magic stuff and I said that if we used Gaz's blood, since Gaz was basically HER clone like I was Dad's, well...well then we could call her back. The problem is the door it opened brought just about everyone BUT her back!"

Dwicky took some notes upon a metal clipboard he was using, scribbling away before nodding his head. "That's understandable. So why was Gaz mad? Because your Mother didn't show up?"

"No, the...the rebound sliced into Gaz's arms. We had to do all this tissue work and you can still see the scars if you look real close, that's why she's ALWAYS wearing long-sleeves whenever she can." Dib said, sighing. "I didn't mean to-I just...we were just...we just wanted...I just wanted Mom back. Dad was burying himself in work, he couldn't cope, and Gaz isn't...touchy-feely. When I...I tried to put an arm around her shoulder after Mom died to-to comfort her, she-she just shoved me away." Dib mumbled quietly, as he closed his eyes and covered his face in his hands, the glasses sliding up. "I know she...she isn't good at expressing her feelings. I know she probably wasn't able to-to take what I had to offer and I KNOW it's selfish to expert her to be the same way I am. But...I can't help it. I needed a Mom, and I didn't have one. I needed a Dad, and I didn't really have one. I needed my sister, and she didn't want to be there for me. I wanted to be there for her, but she's always cared more about herself when I've been trying my whole life to just help people and protect them and that makes me mad!"

"Are you upset when people don't recognize what you do for them?" Dwicky inquired gently. "Tell me how it makes you feel."

"I wanted people for YEARS to believe me, and-and when I was helping them? Protecting them? I felt like...I felt like I belonged. Being able to protect people from alien threats like Zim allowed me to feel like I was really doing something with my life. I always felt that in stopping him...I could connect with people. I SO wanted that. For them to just like me." Dib admitted to Dwicky as he bit his lip. "I feel a lot like Superman, really."

"How so? Do you see yourself as an alien? An odd one out who doesn't belong?"

"Yeah, but...well, why does Superman do what he does? It's because he was raised right, sure, but also because, when he's saving people...they love him. It's only when he's using his great powers that he truly connects to people. That he truly belongs. And that's me. Or at least, how I see me." Dib admitted, putting a hand on his chest. "...geez. I must sound so...arrogant." he grunted. "Like Zim! I sound like Zim, don't I?!" He groaned, tugging on his hair.

"Oh, hell no. Zim's pure fuckin' evil." Dwicky said with a snort, Dib staring up at him. "I spent days in sessions with Zim before I got assigned to meet with you this month." Dwicky shuddered in disgust. "You would not believe what I heard."

 _"So, like, they didn't die all at once."_

 _"...is that a fact?"_

 _"No, no. It was HOURS before the screaming stopped. I almost didn't get to sleep that night. Well, I told myself, "That settles it. The last time I'd use crushed glass on my test subjects!"_

 _"Zim...how would you feel if YOU were those children you fed those...special lik-a-maids to? I mean, if someone fed YOU one made of that material, pretending it was candy, how would you feel?"_

 _"If I was a filthy HUUUUMAN?"_

 _"Well, put yourself in their shoes."_

 _"So Zim would be short and smelly and ugly?"_

 _"Zim, do you know what "empathy" is?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Empathy is putting yourself in other people's shoes so you can feel the way they do. If you hurt someone, empathy makes you hurt too."_

 _"You think I'd WANT that? HAVE YOU THE BRAIN WOOOORMS?!"_

"Zim knows what he does is wrong. He literally doesn't care. He doesn't WANT to care." Dwicky grumbled darkly, his eyes flashing as Dib saw the psychologist was crushing the pencil he had in his hand. "I've never, ever met a more disgusting, pathetic, megalomaniacal little **_prick_**!"

"Wow. I'm sorry, it's just..." Dib scratched his head. "I never imagined hearing a psychologist making an objective statement like that."

"Not everything is black and white. But not everything is shades of grey. Everyone is the hero of their own story, but for Zim? He's clearly aware he's the villain, and it's what he wants." Dwicky admitted with a sigh. "So I told him what his biggest problem was...himself. He didn't take it well. Especially not after the mirror exercise."

"What's the mirror exercise involve?" Dib asked.

"If you think you're ready for it, I can do it with you. You'll have to take home this mirror, and I want you looking into it every time you wake up, and every time you go to bed, and to talk to yourself about who you are, and how you feel." Dwicky said, going over to a nearby desk, taking out a small, circular mirror about the size of a dinner plate, handing it to Dib, who held it in his hands, looking down at the eyes that blinked back at him.

And so, now, at the end of the day, about to get in bed, he was staring into it, and clearing his throat. "I'm Dib Membrane. I'm going to free the Earth from the Irkens, even if it means I'll feel guilty about it." He said, and as the words came out of his mouth, he flinched.

Did he really want to do this? Was it honestly so bad being under Irken control? Sure, Tak could be kind of nasty. Yes, he had to worry sometimes about being swallowed up. But people believed and respected him now. There wasn't any real crime or disease. Irkens like Wiyn were a thing, but...still...

There it was. That question. "Was this better?" He didn't know the answer. He honestly didn't. What should he-

Wait. No. NO. He shook his head back and forth. "Stop making it about **yourself**!" He insisted to the mirror. "It isn't just about what you want! It's about what would be good for everyone and that's not just us humans. You need to spend some time with other races the Irkens had conquered. I should contact the Resisty! Yeah! Lard Nar and his pals!" He realized aloud. "Lard Nar's supposed to be coming to Earth, isn't he? Talk to him, Dib! Find out how the Vortians and the others are doing now that the Irkens aren't controlling them anymore."

He grinned a bit, looking into the mirror, then blinked stupidly. "Wow. I talk to myself way too much. I'd be doing this even if I didn't have the mirror, wouldn't I?" He inquired to himself, scratching at his head and putting the mirror down, beginning to take his clothes off. "I GOTTA stop talking to myself." Dib confessed to himself, shaking his head again.

THE NEXT DAY...

"Wow, this is some seriously sick work." Dib remarked, looking over the data files on the tablet computer Lard Nar was showing him, the two of them meeting in secret in the forest not far from the city. "All this from Skoodge? SKOODGE? He seems so...jolly and nice." Dib confessed, raising an eyebrow up at the Vortian, who nodded his horned head and cringed.

"Don't get me wrong, they were called the Slaughtering Rat People for a REASON. I mean, they ate every diplomat any race tried to send down." Lard Nar admitted with a cringe of disgust. "So it's hard to feel too sorry for them, the same way nobody really felt sorry about the Planet Jackers dying off after centuries of sacrificing other planets to keep their own alive. But...still...I have no idea how he could have botched a mind control drug so badly."

Evidently, Skoodge had introduced a virus into the water supply of the Slaughtering Rat People, and it had swiftly moved through the rivers and lakes of the planet Blorch, but instead of making them easily suggestible, it had turned huge swathes of the population's brains into swiss cheese.

"Even the nicer Irkens still have this kind of...paternalistic racism element about them. Even Senior, as you've noticed." Lard Nar confessed. "Like..." He waved his hands in the air. "Oh you poor, stupid little peoples, you don't know any better! We'll uplift you!"

"Total "white man's burden". Yeah, I get it." Dib realized softly. "It's just hard to see Senior as one of them. I keep thinking "He's one of the good ones" and even that sounds kinda bigoted in my head."

"He's different, sure, but even he's talked about how he thought the old empire deserved to die. Even Miyuki wasn't above being harsh. She was much nicer than most of the others, but that didn't mean she couldn't act just as cruelly as them if you got her mad. She's the one who started the war with the Meekrobians because of a dust-up that happened at a dinner. See, they're very, VERY bigoted towards non-corporeal beings. She finally got pissed at them insulting her and...well..." He tried to suppress a laugh. "She evidently beat one of the floor with a swordfish. It was "glorious", according to Irken historical records."

"That DOES sound kinda funny!" Dib admitted, trying to suppress his own snort of laughter. "So has Senior been having the Irkens honor their new agreements with your planets?"

"Oh yes, he has. The trading has gone well, they gave back all the prisoners of war, and Tak's reduced the size of the military...although she only agreed to do that if she could take half the ships that remained and give them the ability to turn into..." Lard Nar took a deep breath. "Giant robots." He said at last. "It was so ridiculous. But at least the knowledge of what they'll actually do cheered a lot of us up." The Vortian confessed. "Ka-booooom!"

"Hmm. Well, thanks for talking with me about this. So is the ship stuff the only reason you were here?" Dib wanted to know. "I'm glad you came here, made it easier to meet, but-"

"We wanted to ask Senior about those colony planets he said he was making. There's supposed to be about three or four, but he won't say where they are. I hope I'll be able to weasel out the locations from him." Lard Nar remarked. "With a little help from my sister. May always has a way of charming things out of him." He added with a chuckle, the two unaware that they were being watched from a tree branch quite some distance away, a pair of foul dark green eyes blazing furiously.

"...ohhh, this won't stand." Wiyn darkly growled out in a guttural hiss. "This will not stand, you filthy goaty-head. And YOU...big head brat..." She ground her teeth. "You will suffer for rejecting our ways and our rule."


	8. Despair

**TRIGGER WARNING:**

 **I've shown some...rather dark stuff previously. These next couple of chapters will be even more so. I thought you deserve to know this. I made this story in many ways to sort of criticize and deconstruct myself and what I believe, and this means I can't shy away from dark subject matter. Just know that this next part of the tale was VERY painful to write. It made me squeamish typing it. And I'm REALLY sorry if it ends up disgusting you. I just want to try and tell a good story that at the same time analyzes myself as much as "What would happen if the Empire won"?**

 **Having said all that...here you go.**

"We've almost gotten it finished!"

Dib looked over the blueprints, rubbing his chin as Faith cheerily smiled, Professor Membrane adjusting his goggles as the laboratory team stood around the table. The footage for the laboratory was being looped once again as Dib's dad pointed at what laid before them all. "As you can see, we've finally gotten the compounds for dissolving away the atmospheric pollution in our air, and for applying the necessary changes to IRK'S air. With a few more days of work, we should be ready to finally test the virus for the Massive's computer systems and to cripple the rest of the fleet!"

"Great! Lard Nar and I created a private contact channel." Dib commented as he gave everyone little walkie talkie-esque communicators faintly shaped like miniature retro 80's walkie talkies, and nodded. "These will only contact the other communicators so don't lose them! Contact him when you're ready to go and we can...well...start the plan." He finished, taking in a deep breath as everyone looked intensely at him, Gaz's mechanical eye narrowing firmly at him.

"You're absolutely sure you can go through with this?" She inquired. "I know you've really gotten to like Senior."

"...it isn't about me." Dib finally said at last as he hung his head and took in a long, deep breath. "This is about making the Irkens pay not only for what they've done to OUR planet, but all those other ones. You can't just oppress a people for years and decades and centuries and kill their people and enslave them and all that and then go "sorry" and just give back a bunch of things you took from them. Even if it IS just about everything you took, that doesn't erase what you did! They don't deserve to HAVE any kind of empire at all! They need to know what it feels like. The shoe needs to be on the other foot!" He insisted. "Fair's fair, after all!"

"Just don't let anything slip. Nobody let anything slip." Gaz insisted, pointing around at everyone. "This doesn't leave the room. We pretend nothing's wrong, we go about our daily lives. And more importantly, we have to avoid all those psychics like they've got the plague. We do NOT want any of the consulars reading our minds and finding out what we're up to! And if they try and find out, you end them." She added with a dark glower. "Right...there."

Everyone slowly nodded all at once. With that, they all exited the laboratory one after the other, Dib shaking his dad's hand, giving him a big smile. "Thanks for all this, Dad."

"It's a brilliant plan, Dib. Truly, "real science"!" He laughed in delight. "I couldn't possibly be prouder of you."

...

...

...

... "Wow. Look at all that."

Senior was very impressed. He'd taken Dib to the Massive's shooting range on the northern wing, and Dib had shown a remarkably good aim. Using a high-powered assault laser light rifle he'd hit almost all of the floating targets in the air. Cute, adorable little balloons...with Zim's face on them. And when they reinflated, they said things like "My Tallest! My Tallest! My Tallest!" and "Yes, Yes, I'm a Bear" and "Aren't I Amazing?". Evidently the former Tallest had recorded so much of Zim's dialogue they'd been able to stick it onto the "smart targets", to motivate those in the shooting range.

"This is probably the only thing Red and Purple did that I agree with completely." Dib remarked as he blew fake smoke off of the assault rifle, lowering it down as Senior stood nearby, looking quite pleased with Dib's work. The real Zim was stuck, trapped via a little cocktail sword on top of a nearby table, stuck to a piece of cheese that laid near some other snacks that had been left there for later.

"Oh very funny! Ha ha ha!" Zim grumbled aloud.

"I should think you'd be happy being here, Zim. You love hearing the sound of your own voice constantly. And looking at your own face." Dib snarked.

"That's because Zim only enjoys **intelligent** conversations!"

"...so why do you like talking to yourself?" Dib inquired in a mocking tone as Zim flailed about in anger.

"I WILL GNAW YOUR FEET OFF! SO YOU CAN'T WALK! AND THEN MAKE YOU WATCH AS I USE THEM FOR MODERN ART!"

"That's very oddly specific." Dib remarked as Senior tapped the side of his head, adjusting one of the "communicator's chips" he had. "Are you going to give it a try?"

"Well...I don't know. I guess I could." Senior mumbled. "I was just going to put on some nice Earth music and then head off to look over the schedule for our next meeting. The Planet Jacker refugees keep demanding an audience with all of us. I was going to tell them exactly where they could stick that demand." He added with a frown. "Most of us Irkens just want to let them die off. There's only a few thousand left, after all...even most of the other planets don't give a damn about them! "

"You really don't like them, huh?" Dib asked as Senior walked over to the part of the wall that held the weapons, pressing a small, cube-shaped spot on it as Tak watched from a nearby doorway, just watching and listening as Senior pulled out several pistols, and then slung a shotgun over his shoulder.

"The Planet Jackers caused untold cruelty for literally centuries!" Senior murmured coldly. "They could have moved their planet instead of moving **other** planets away. Or just moved themselves. They didn't. They were selfish, stupid and sadistic. At least when Irkens do awful things, we're not STUPID about..." He trailed off. "Oh, who am I kidding? We named our biggest ship "Massive", our best inventions are stolen from other races and some of our best disguises involved just putting rocks on ourselves..." He muttered. "I guess the real reason so many of us hate them is we see them as an even worse version of ourselves. And nobody likes looking in the mirror, and seeing how awful we really are."

"I don't think you're that bad." Dib mumbled out, Senior smiling wryly before he pulled off the communicator chips, and set them down in Dib's palms, music beginning to play out of them on the "speaker" option. Dib could see that putting the chips on clearly would HURT. There were tiny little needles, it must have felt like ripping off a particularily harsh band-aid. There were even tiny little scar marks from where they usually were, just baaaarely visible on the side of the green-eyed communication officer's head.

Yet Senior just closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he did something Dib had NEVER seen him do...he pulled up the little mask that most communication officer's had, the one that covered their mouth, below their "nose" region. Dib had never seen Senior having that up! It was always slid down, allowing you to see his full face. This was so strange, seeing him bring it up as the song began to play, Senior then pulling out his pistols.

"Ugh. What is this drivel?" Zim mumbled, rolling his eyes Dib realized "Judas Priest" was now beginning to play a song from the chips. And not just ANY song, but "Electric Eye"!

Watching all this unfold, Tak rolled her eyes a bit. Such a waste of potential for Senior to put his talents towards...THIS.

As the swelling of the guitar riffs of "The Hellion" gave way to the PROPER song, all of time seemed to freeze briefly for a moment, Senior steadying his grip on the pistols as he fired away. He spun around on the spot, firing and firing, each shot hitting a new balloon of Zim, blasting it into tiny little chunks.

 _ **Up here in space!**_

 _ **I'm looking down on you!**_

 _ **My lasers trace...**_

 _ **Everything you do!**_

 _ **You think you've private lives,**_

 _ **Think nothing of the kind!**_

 _ **There is no true escape,**_

 _ **I'm watching all the time!**_

He twirled around and around, firing and firing away before leaping up, through the air, spinning about and firing even more, upside-down as he pulled off even more spectacular shots. Dib stared, flabbergasted at all of this as Senior landed expertly and rolled away, sliding on his back as he tossed the guns up, up into the air, yanking the laser light shotgun off his back. He fired up into the air, blasting balloons high above him.

 _ **I'm made of metal!**_

 _ **My circuits gleam!**_

 _ **I am perpetual,**_

 _ **I keep the country clean!**_

Then he slapped the shotgun back onto his back as he caught the pistols as they fell, racing along the enormous, circular hall, strafing around, firing at the other Zim balloons. Dib gazed on, taking it all in as Zim moaned. All those beautiful balloons with his beautiful face on it...gone.

 _ **I'm elected electric spy!**_

 _ **I'm protected electric eye!**_

Dib watched Senior finish off every single one of the balloons, staring in shocked silence before Senior walked on back, noticing Tak was in the doorway. "I don't get why you never joined the military." She insisted, shaking her head as she entered the room, getting her OWN weaponry, and giving Dib a slightly playful little dark smile. "Look at him, Dib. Aim like that? He could have been one of the best sharpshooters we had. When he really puts his mind to it, he's nigh-unstoppable, but he decided to become a COMMUNICATION'S OFFICER instead. Isn't it such a waste of such good talents?"

"Like I told Dib...I became a communication's officer because I was too good at shooting people. You know, Earth has this...stupid, stupid idea. That "good men don't need rules". But that isn't true." He told Dib, shaking his head. "Good men need rules more than bad men. Because good men will always be tested and tempted to BE bad. They need rules to remind them to remain good. That's what those rules are for. They won't stop a bad man from being bad. But they'll remind good men to stay good." The head of the new Irken Empire admitted.

Dib bit his lip, heading out the door, hands in his pockets as he walked alongside Senior, who lowered his mask again, allowing Dib to see his sad smile. "Tak's gotten a bit more...critical of me since Australia. Even nuking Melbourne off the map didn't really cheer her up. Darth's trying to help, but even HE can't seem to do it."

"She goes to therapy?"

"Oh, no, uh..." Senior blushed a bit. "They've been very close for over two years." He confessed. "And he said he shouldn't tell me what she told him in confidentiality, but he sort of spilled the beans by accident. She told him when they were having drinks that...well, I guess she'd gotten so used to winning now that WE were in charge that even taking a few losses to her was unacceptable."

"She's still mad about Tenn?"

"It isn't just Tenn. Evidently the Australian resistance movement made Melbourne into a symbol of Martyrydom. They've spread to New Zealand and places in Indonesia and they're gaining in strength. Tak's putting a lot of effort into trying to forcibly squash them, but they're getting very good at guerilla tactics and we Irkens are NOT good at handling that. I won't let her use absolute, overwhelming force to just nuke big chunks of land from orbit, so she's having to send in lots of ground troops, and having to deal with that day in, day out is really aggravating her. I'm going to suggest she take a nice vacation." Senior remarked.

"Do you ever feel like a hypocrite?" Dib asked. "I mean, you had no trouble helping the Resisty to bring down the Empire, but now you ARE the Empire. I know you've been trying to give back all that it took from Vort and all those other planets, but do you ever worry you're becoming as bad as Red and Purple?"

"Of course I do. But I've got people like you." Senior said with a smile. "That's why I surround myself with other people. To remind me not to go too far. I like to think I'm a good man. And I need to be reminded to stay that way so I don't end up like Red or Purple. Do you think you could do me a favor? Bring me an Irken milkshake? Chocolate? And you can leave Zim here. That way he can watch more of his face getting shot."

"YOU'RE PURE EVIL!" Zim shrieked.

"Sure, but...I've wanted to ask you. I mean, you said your species can't quite yet enjoy dairy products fully, right? So...then...what are Irken milkshakes made from?"

"...you know, I've never really asked Sizz-Lorr." Senior confessed. "...I'm not sure I want to."

"Fine by me." Dib said, heading for the cafeteria, going down the hallway...

Not noticing the figure that had been following him and Senior, who was now sneaking up on him, a rag of chloroform in hand.

"MMMPGGGHHH!" Dib didn't even have time to get a good scream out as the rag was stuffed over his mouth, and he flopped to the ground, unconciousness digging its claws into him, Wiyn's pitiless smile leering down at him.

"Oh, what fun we'll have, you filthy little huuuuuuman." Dib heard her say, the last words he'd hear before sleepiness sank into him fully...and he awoke in hell.

...

...

...

...Dib was now trapped inside a large, steely, dark-grey room, a window behind Wiyn overlooking what was clearly a large facility, filled to the brim with various Irkens who were all chatting amongst each other, eagerly anticipating something...and, to Dib's horror...munching on humans. Not...alive ones. Ones very much dead. Tiny and small...and with cocktail toothpicks stuck through their bodies, whilst they drank something that very clearly wasn't...wine.

Dib shuddered in horror as Wiyn evilly sneered, and nonchalantly rested her head on the back of the chair she was sitting at. "You would not believe how many Irkens wanted to **properly** enjoy humans. Don't get me wrong, it's fun to watch you all squirming around in our stomachs. To hear your pleading or screaming. But, well...there's something equally satisfying about watching you slowly dying on the end of a nice little toothpick, or ground into a nice, delicious milkshake of blood, or well..."

A sadistic giggle. "We're FIVE MILES UNDERGROUND. Nobody can hear you scream. Any of you."

She was happy. Such a sick, twisted thing. She was like some dark, disgusting thing God had shoved under a rock and forgotten about that was now squirming back out, and she rose up from the chair, awful techno-music playing on loudspeakers in the back of the underground facility he was evidently trapped in. Wiyn sauntered over to a table that had a single silver platter on top, and slowly took it off. Dib's eyes bulged behind his glasses.

"I could have broken those, but...well, I want you seeing and hearing all of this. It's very simple, Dib...you've been bad. But I'm not going to punish you, oh no. You'd endure it cuz you... _care_." Wiyn said with a snort. "You _**care**_ about your other humans. It's just part of your nature. So I won't hurt you, oh no. I'm going to hurt your classmates and all their families. I think I'll start with Tommy here!"

Oh no. OH NO. Not Tommy Chestnut. Dib's eyes bulged, seeing the poor, terrified little lad with the messy black hair being lifted out of the pile of tied-up, screaming in terror and alarm and for help that couldn't come human children and their families. Wiyn smiled vilely. "And I want you to always be wondering when I'll kill them. Or even IF. If nothing is certain, you'll be suffering even worse, Dib. That's something I learned very quickly. If a prisoner isn't sure of what'll happen to them or their cellmates, ohhh, the **tension**! It makes them wrecks." She laughed foully. "Years guarding filthy goaty-heads and disgusting skaatel like them taught me everything I needed to know about instilling real fear."

"You are a diseased, disgusting BUG." Dib growled out.

"See, now...you shouldn't me angry. Now poor Tommy's never gonna be able to write on the chalkboard again." Wiyn said, sliding Tommy's arms into her mouth, the zipper-toothed teeh held up.

"Nononono!" Tommy shrieked out.

Dib cringed as she brought them down. He tried hard. SO hard to ignore Tommy's sobbing wails as Wiyn nonchalantly swished Tommy's arms around in her mouth, that awful, foul light glittering in her eyes, unnatural, foul...a kind of "deadlight" that made him shudder as the acrid smell of blood assaulted his nose.

"Feel like begging for mercy, Dib? Come on. Plead for his life." Wiyn remarked, nonchalantly waving Tommy around in the air by his legs. "Or I take his legs."

"...s-stop..." Dib murmured quietly. "This is...this is too cruel."

"What? Cruel? Ohh, do you not LIKE this?" Wiyn inquired with a little chuckle. "You think I'm sadistic, is that it?"

Dib bit his lip, trying to keep the tears from welling in his eyes as he heard Wiyn crunch into Tommy's LEGS next, Tommy sobbing uncontrollably as Wiyn nonchalantly chewed. That horrifying, sickening sound filled the air as Wiyn finished, slooowly licking over her lips. "And if I am? So what?"

"You don't even care that what you're doing is immoral and wrong?!" Dib practically shrieked out. "That's just so mind-bogglingly disgusting and fucking **sick** -"

"And there's that argument. Morality." A voice rang out, Dib stiffening as he stared up in horror, seeing two people he never expected to be there. "You think I chose any of my crew because of MORALS? Really?"

It was Tak. And behind her, Darth stood, looking down at the wicked-looking hunting knife Tak had on her belt as it slightly banged against her side upon entering the room and standing before the shocked Dib. He "watched" it swing and bounce against her, quietly closing his eyes, then slowly looking in Dib's direction as Dib's mouth hung open. "...you?" Dib murmured. "All this time?"

"There's no room in the Irken empire...in war itself, in the name of actual, real progress, for MORALS. Morals cloud judgment. Morals taint conclusions. Morals define unwanted prejudices. They're not welcome here." Tak told Dib, looking down at him with her purple eyes flashing.

Dib stared, his mouth agape. "Senior gave you so much and you just-"

"He doesn't understand. Like you, he lets his morality cloud his judgment. He lets sentimentality rule him, lets his ethicality affect his conclusions. It's foolish." Tak intoned. "He's allowed too much. I initially was very excited by all he'd done. But he simply isn't doing enough. He's not willing to properly go the distance."

"So what, you're just gonna do what Red and Purple did?" Dib asked, sounding aghast. "Just continuing more alien invasions of other planets, is that it? Is THAT why you were okay with having so much of your fleet made into robots?"

"No no, see...Red and Purple wanted to make colonies and parking lot planets." Tak shook her head. "I don't want them to be anything." She whispered darkly. "We're going to get rid of all those _skaatel's_ leaders, and then all of THEM when they've been thrown into chaos. And Senior won't see it coming." She intoned, waving a gloved hand in the air. "With the proper adjustments we've made to our ships, helped along by your dear darling Gaz who thought she was just making better LASERS..."

Dib felt his guts implode as his turned even paler than normal.

"...we'll be able to do organic sweeps of specific life forms! We'll cleanse the planets and take everything we want. We'll be the only race left. Well...except for yours. You're just too **delicious** to leave alone, Dib." She whispered, leaning down, and slowly licking over his cheek with her wormlike tongue, the tied-down Dib shuddering in disgust and fear as she took out her hunting knife. " _Nobody_ should be this delicious." She murmured, deliberately slicing his cheek ever-so-slightly open to lap at his blood. "I'll be back for some fun with you later, Dib. Try not to break him so quickly, Win. And remember...don't touch. He's mine."

She chuckled, slowly tracing a claw down his cheek. "I really did always respect you, Dib. Rather liked you quite a bit. I want you to be there for when I take over. When I finally become the Tallest, when I'm finally in charge, finally, FINALLY getting what I've so long deserved, and finally become the ruler Irk needs."

"It doesn't WANT you." Dib said, trying to regain his courage, trying to glare back at her. "I don't like what Senior's doing but most of the Irkens seem just FINE with how things are!"

"Since when have the dumb masses ever known what was best for them? You keep giving them the same crap...they'll just keep asking for it. You need to...spice it up." Tak remarked, plucking Tommy Chestnut's frame off the pile of kids as they gasped in horror, Tak popping him into his mouth...and slowly chewing. "Mmmmmmmm. So nice." She murmured, Dib feeling the tears barreling down his cheeks as Tak left the room, Darth glancing over at Dib, a mental message sinking into his mind.

"I'm sorry you have to suffer so. Try to be strong. They need you."

With that, Dib was left alone, Wiyn plucking Tommy's parents up off the pile, waving them both in the air in front of Dib as she laughed. "Come on, Dib. Pick one! Who'll I eat the legs off of **first**?"

"...I promise you. I...will...kill you." Dib whispered out, lowering his head. "I will kill you. I will KILL you. I WILL KILL YOU."

He repeated that mantra in his head. It barely drowned out the horrific gnawing and chewing sounds.

...barely.


	9. It's The Final Countdown

Gaz was on the Massive, eating in the cafeteria, when she took notice of the two female Irkens entering the cafeteria with Darth. The blind counselor was gently leading them into the cafeteria by their shoulders, standing right behind them and warmly smiling as the red-eyed and yellow-eyed women nervously looked at each other, sitting down, at last, across from Gaz herself.

Gaz finally recognized them. Or at least, one of them. She was Dite, that elite guard who frequently guarded the local hospital. Her special onyx metal eye gazed from her to the yellow-eyed, slightly skittish-looking more slender female near her...ahh, another communications officer. NOW she remembered who this one was, it was Xeil, she worked on the bridge of the Massive, taking Senior's old job.

"Now, remember, this is a safe space. Nobody here is going to judge you, it's just Gaz in here and a few other humans." He said, gesturing at a couple of random humans that were not shrunken at the moment, having some free time given to them by their Irken overlords, from the looks of it, for they were nonchalantly chatting it up over a game of cards. "Nobody is going to judge you. You're safe here. Safe. You can be yourself."

"I feel so nervous." Xeil muttered, the well-built, rather muscular Dite gently patting her on the back.

"I'm as nervous as you are about this. But we talked about it, okay? Enough just doing it in private. It's a whole new world. We've got a new boss, a new system, and its about time we finally felt comfortable enough to do it."

"I AM tired of having to sneak one in every time we're in the same bathroom by coincidence or having to loop the hallway camera footage so we can have a moment's peace..." Xeil sighed. "Remember the first time we almost got caught?"

"Good thing it was someone who couldn't actually SEE us." Dite laughed uproariously, a raucous, bellowing laugh as Xeil smiled mischeviously, and put her arms around the red-eyed elite guard.

"Well...let's do it." She insisted, leaning in close, lips slightly parted for a kiss, as Dite leaned in as well, Gaz's eyes widening. Ohhh. So that's what this was about. She just watched, her replacement eye taking everything in...and recording it. It could do so much! Just the other day, she learned it could see in infrared and through walls. No girls in the halls would be safe from her x-ray eyeballs. She'd gotten to see all kinds of weird stuff peering into people's rooms when they thought nobody was watching, but she'd never actually seen two Irkens of the same sex kissing. Sure, she saw the occasional quick smooch in the hallway or a rather quickly done lay in the hay from Irkens with partners who were of the opposite sex, but not when they were gay.

It did make some sense though. After all, hadn't Senior said that Red and Purple had been primarily disposed not merely for faking tallness, but for having a homosexual relationship, something the Control Brains would have been furious with? Well, guess it was a whole new-

"IIIII can't do it!" Dite and Xeil said at once, pulling away, flopping away from each other. Xeil covered her head in her hands, shaking it back and forth whilst Dite moaned, slamming her head into the table, making Gaz's soda bounce up and down. She frowned, plucking it off the table.

"Hey, cut it out. And why don't you two just kiss already? As the song goes, "c'mon and kiss the girl"!" She remarked, rolling her eyes.

"It isn't that simple." Darth murmured, Xeil and Dite sighing sadly, gently holding each other's hand on the table before even that was slowly withdrawn. "Our PAKs regulate our behavior heavily, rewarding us for actions and thoughts that would be in line with what the Irken Empire has deemed acceptable and good, and punishing us for actions that would be deemed defective and wrong. For things in a more grey area, like a relationship, it's always fallen between the cracks. After all, there's nothing inherently wrong with wanting to bring more Irkens into the world, even if its through an outdated method." The counselor sighed, shaking his head, his balled antannae bouncing about. "At least, that's how the Control Brains deemed it. And that's been with us for centuries, hardwired into our PAKs. But at least a "normal" relationship might lead to that, for anything of a homosexual nature, it is viewed as a useless thing. Pointless. Without even the purpose of making more Irkens."

"What about "it just feels good"?"

Dite snorted. "If our PAKs cared about making us feel good about the things that mattered, we wouldn't be encouraged to be mean to non-Irkens..." She grumbled, sighing as she looked at Gaz. "Sorry, its just...even after all the effort we made to change things, even after trying to reprogram our PAKs to do so, so much, that...that sort of mindset lingers on. You can't just force somebody to change how they've done things for CENTURIES in just a few weeks or months, or even years. It takes a while."

"Even with our PAKs not being as restrictive as before, our MINDS within our squishy little bodies still have that knee-jerk reaction of "this is wrong" whenever we do something our PAK used to try and repress. Even just talking to you in a nice way is..." Xeil waved her gloved hand in the air, sighing as she did so. "It's like an irritating little buzz in the back of your mind. And it's rotten."

Gaz looked at the two, mouth slightly open. She'd never thought of it like that.

"Did it...hurt? Having your PAK adjusted? Or...well, I know your eyes are implants, I've seen Darth's eyes."

"No, no, Trik's very good at making sure it wasn't painful." Xeil sighed. "He cares about a job well done, about being delicate with such machinery...and with us. But any change does sort of...leave an ache. And for our eyes, it's sort of like, well..." She hesitated. "You've had your own eye operated on. Didn't it feel like...like sometimes, it's still there? Like your old eye is still in your socket, and you feel like you've got a spare eye in your skull?"

"Yeah, it's FREAKISH. Like some kind of phantom." Gaz said, rubbing over her metallic eye as it softly glistened in the cafeteria. "You feel that way from the moment you get them? When DO you get your implants?"

"Well, after being filled with the depository of all Irken knowledge, we get brought to have our eyes replaced with implants."

"But you just got BORN, that's...that sounds like it'd be super painful and traumatic and GROSS, ew!" Gaz now looked disgusted, a foul expression coming over her features. "I mean...I thought your race would at least wait until training or something!"

"Our idea of getting used to it is like your own father tossing you into the deep end, going "Swim"." Dite said with a dark chuckle. "Oh don't get me wrong, Trik tries to make sure it doesn't hurt, but the knowledge our eyes are being removed...I didn't quite forgive him for that at first. I actually bit him a few times when he was putting them in."

Gaz rubbed her chin. "He always seems to be busy lately. What's he working on right now? Finally figured out a way to get you guys to enjoy dairy products?"

"Well, THAT, at least...we can do together. He finally fixed that part of our PAKs up." Dite confessed as she smiled a little, gesturing at her red-colored PAK, Xeil nodding as she rose up to go to the replicator and get food. "But I think he's trying to put the finishing touches on a PAK that won't be external and will be less intrusive. He says its almost done."

And indeed, he WAS putting the finishing touches on it. The blue-eyed, goggles-wearing Irken was avidly chatting it up with Faith and Dr. Membrane as they assisted him on the final touches of the little object, a faintly translucent PAK that was considerably smaller, about the size of the human heart, with a somewhat adorable little crystal optic glass in the center. "Here. Now we just need to test it out. And since I've put in a copy of my own PAK data and personality into it, I volunteer myself to be the test!" He said, proudly standing up in the center of the laboratory.

Faith cringed a bit. "You sure that's a good idea? We could get someone else to try it out as a test. Like Red or Purple. You know, that way if it fails...no big loss." She remarked with a chuckle.

"I take it he failed to clean up outside your room on his assignment?" Professor Membrane intoned, opening up the double doors that led to the balcony on the second floor they were working on in the labs. It was a bright, beautiful day, soft clouds puffing by overhead, and the wind was a breath of fresh air on all three as Trik laid his goggles atop his forehead and shook his head.

"Trust me, it will work. We've all put far too much time and effort into this for it to NOT work. Oooh, I'm so excited!" He giddily clapped his hands together after handing the special PAK to Faith. "Go on, take off my old PAK. We need to do this within ten minutes." He informed her.

"Right. Okay. Here goes..." Faith said nervously, taking hold of Trik's PAK. "Brace yourself!"

"Ha, I can handle any-YOOOOOOOOW that stings!" His eyes bulged out, cringing as he slightly quivered on his somewhat slender kneess, shuddering a bit as Faith removed his old PAK, and then put the new one up to his skin. Much to her and Professor Membrane's shock, not only did it attach perfectly, as if with glue, not with the odd metal, claw-like tentacles the old PAK had...it sank into his back. It was like it was being absorbed by the body! Trik rose up, dusting himself off, and looked about.

"So, um...f-feel any different?" Faith inquired quietly. "Any tingling? Or other side effects?"

"I feel perfectly optimal, truthfully." Trik said, feeling over his bare chest, the labcoat opened up to show off his slender frame. "Very lovely work, Faith! Your work on the synpatical modulator for the PAK was excellent. And Professor Membrane, I've never seen such talented stitchwork for the wiring." He offered, giving a deep bow of his head to both of them before taking Faith's hands. "Do you know what this means? No more of those awful bullseyes on children's backs. Our smeets will be far safer and more free than ever before." He insisted, eyes wide, speaking like a kid at Christmas who was trying to explain why his new gaming system was so amazing. "It's a game changer, Faith! It'll be like a new step in evolution...if evolution worked that way."

He sighed. "A shame it doesn't. Kind of hurts my ability to enjoy those excellent X-Men movies of our race." He admitted, going over to the balcony. "Listen, there's just one more thing I'd like you to do beyond shipping the new models to Senior so he can make sure they're distributed properly."

"What's that?"

"...I'd like you to have all of my laboratory tech. I want you to do incredible things with it." Trik offered, turning around to look at Faith. "When I first met you, I knew you could be amazing if you were just given the right tools, and you've proved me right. I'm sure you'll keep proving me right. Just...don't make the mistakes I made. Don't ever settle for so long. Try to make a difference sooner."

Faith stared at him, confused. "Wait, why are you leaving me your stuff? Don't YOU need it?" Professor Membrane looked at her...then at Trik, suddenly understanding.

"Wait, don't!" He cried out.

Trik turned around slightly, smiling warmly at Faith...and then fell off the balcony, arms splayed out as Faith let out a horrified gasp...and a loud, sickening, foul, wet noise rang through the air a few moments later. She raced to the baclony with Professor Membrane, looking down...at the empty, silent husk of her enslaver, her overlord, her patron...her friend. His body was broken, dark green blood pooling freely, yet he looked peaceful despite the cracked-open back. He looked so...palpably content.

Faith just didn't understand why.

...

...

...

... "What're THESE?" Dib asked in horror, looking down at his feet, seeing something that hadn't been there before, that he hadn't noticed at first admist all the horror he'd endured. He had what looked like a little metallic chip that had been embedded within his foot, a dark steely and silver color, faintly blinking with a yellowish crystal "eye" in the center, the odd chip about the size of his thumb. He, like all the rest of the captured humans in this depraved underground facility, were now currently in little cages, a bit of food and water set down for them to eat.

"Tracking chips." said a voice he recognized as he looked up, seeing Maht the service drone there, his deep indigo/purple eyes gazing at Dib as he slid in some more food into Dib's bowl. "There might be a few Irkens who'd feel bad about what they do to you all down here...or who might want to bring proof of your abuse to Senior. So to make sure nobody leaves with any humans...at least, not alive...they put those chips in. You're scanned at all exits and entrances to this club, this way people can know nobody's smuggling humans out." The drone confessed.

"That's clever of them..." Dib grunted. "And I take if if I try to cut the thing out, it'll explode or something?"

"If it senses you trying to slice it out, it administers electrical shocks that will render you unconscious. And well...if you just tried to cut your leg off you wouldn't get far." Maht shook his head. "Your species don't have mechanical spider legs built into the fancy metal backpacks you wear on your back, I'm afraid."

"You know this is wrong." Dib insisted. "You talked about how much Senior inspired all of you. He'd NEVER be okay with this."

"...I want to keep as many people happy as I can. It's part of who I am. And sometimes that means ignoring other people's happiness for the sake of the majority. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind, NEED to be harsh to be fair. It's all about the greater good." Maht reasoned. "...it does bother me seeing you like this, but...the only real kindness I could offer you would be to end it forever." He murmured, and he opened up the cage then, Dib being caught off guard.

"EEEP!" Dib squealed out, Maht plucking him up in his black-gloved hands, gazing down at him, resting one of his claws on Dib's throat very, very carefully.

"I could snap your neck, Dib...or crush your chest. It'd be over in an instant, the CHIP would shut down with your death. Or...I could swallow you, end you within my gut. We who're part of this club have had our PAKs adjusted even more so, if we wanted, we can now digest you. It wouldn't have to hurt...it'd be like sinking into a warm bath forever." Maht softly offered. "Dying doesn't have to be cruel. It doesn't have to be merciless. It can be kind. Compassionate. It might be better this way, no more suffering at the hands of Tak and the others."

Dib's body shook a bit, a mixture of fear, anger and terror, and he felt hot, bitter tears spring to his eyes as he looked away, Maht gently stroking over his chest with a single claw.

"I don't want you suffering like this. I don't. But there's not much I can do beyond my offer beyond trying to make you a bit comfortable here. You belong to us now. I'm sorry it has to be this way. Sorry you had to be caught up in what Tak is doing." Maht offered. "Really, I am." With that, he gently placed Dib back in the cage, and onto the blankets that was his bed. "Get some sleep, Dib. You'll need it. And...think about my offer." He added.

With that, he closed the cage, leaving Dib alone with the other humans in their own cages and cells in the "Prison Room" of the underground club, leaving Dib with the prisoners...and his own horrible thoughts. He had to get out. So he couldn't cut his leg off. He didn't exactly have the tools for that. No knives for his meal. No sharp anything. And he couldn't get far on one foot anyhow. He couldn't dig the chip out. The only way to rid himself of this CHIP would be if he was dead.

...if he was dead...

...an idea was beginning to form. A crazy idea. But it was all he had to go on. He just had to wait for an opportunity to get what he wanted. And it would involve a lot of electricity. An "out of body experience"...

Meanwhile, Skoodge was looking down at his communicator, having finished a conversation with Senior. They'd just been informed of Trik's death, and Skoodge quietly sat down in his house, looking at the beautiful ice artwork that laid all around him. The soft hum of the heavy duty cooler provided a steady drumbeat of white noise as he closed his eyes, hanging his slightly squat head as Senior's voice spoke up.

"It's time." He murmured. "You'd best go take one of the ships we designated for the trip and head to the colony. Darth just informed me that he asked Peech and Feyr to begin moving the smeets and our caretakers for all of them off-planet."

"Good, good. How long until everyone's been moved off?"

"Maybe about...three days? GIR and Minimoose adore the kids. They've been spending a lot of time with them, being babysitters comes natural."

"Good. Good to hear. Um...Skoodge, I'm...I'm not going to see you again." Senior muttered out, and unbeknownst to Skoodge, Senior was lying, slumped against the wall on the bridge. The Massive's bridge was abandoned, save for him, all the others very, VERY busy with their own important duties, some normal, others nefarious. Senior had the communicator gripped in one hand, holding it to his chest, his head bowed low as the other gloved hand dug into the floor. "I want you to know everything I'm...glad I picked somebody for...for who it's not too late. I'm glad I got to know someone so special."

Silence. Quiet, somber silence as Skoodge's hands slightly quivered as he held the communicator. "I should be thanking you." Skoodge managed to get out. "You made me feel special." He muttered. "You're one of the nicest people I've ever known."

"I'm going to call May up. I've not got a lot of time left to spend with her. And...Skoodge, seriously, take care of yourself. And keep making sculptures. You're really, _really_ good." Senior admitted. "

"...bye." Skoodge said, as he ended the call, knowing it would be the last time he ever heard Senior's voice. Sighing a bit, he turned, Zim staring, in confusion, locked in his tiny little prison capsule ball.

"What was THAT about?" Zim demanded as Skoodge sighed a bit and plucked him up, then brought the ball up, up, out of the basement and into the living room, biting his lip as he looked back down at Zim.

"Would you like me to bring you to Irk, Zim? I'm going to give you one chance. I'll let you join me on my trip back to Irk, and in exchange...I'll unshrink you. Give you back your normal size. Sound fair?"

Zim's eyes bulged wide. "Yes! Yes, yes, turn me back to normal! I yearn for the proper height that befits me! And I'm tired of all THIS!" He said, gesturing at the capsule around him. "Despite all my rage, Zim is still just a rat in a cage-" He smacked his face. "Oh, FLIRK, the filthy humans have infected me after all, now I'M singing their songs! UGH. Victory for Earth indeed!"


	10. Eve of Destruction

Senior gently laid his head upon May Nar's shoulder, he and his children lying in a pile all together on the softly swinging bench that laid outside of May's home upon Vort. The night sky twinkled like a gigantic, dark bluish/black quilt laden with stars, Senior listening to his children's soft breathing as a gentle and cool wind drifted through his antannae. "...I could stay lost in this moment...forever."

" ** _Cuz every moment spent with me is a moment you'll treeaaasuuuure_**?" May softly sang back, she and Senior chuckling a little as their kids giggled, Senior softly stroking over his children's heads, one at a time with his left hand, the other wrapped around May's frame. He gave the Vortian a big kiss upon the cheek, grinning back at her. May always did know just what to say when it came to cheering him up.

"Introducing the galaxy to Earthen music is probably the greatest thing I've ever done." He insisted to them all. "Well, that and introducing Earth to the shrinking and growth technology. They'll use it well once they work out the kinks. It'll help a lot with solving the issue of famine, I'm sure. And, as I've proven with Zim, it'll make dealing with the prison population easier too."

"Indeed, I've found people are **muuuuch** more agreeable when they're literally in your hands." May giggled a bit. "Also much more pettable."

"Even Zim?" Little Nora asked as Bo and Ian chuckled a bit, Senior raising an invisible eyebrow at May as she thought about the question for a minute.

"Weeeeeell...yeah. Even him." She decided. "Skoodge contacted me. Said he's at Irk, and you're going to meet the delegation there along with the rest of your crew?"

"Except Peech. I insisted she keep an eye on Dib. She's been trailing him for a long, long time." Senior added. "...we're going to institute the final part of the plan. But...well, Tak doing what she's doing has sort of screwed a lot of it up, I...wanted to save more of us."

"It's good to want to try to save everyone. It's better to have the power to do that. But in the end...the best thing is to realize that people have to either want to be saved, or really need to. And not everyone wants to...and not everyone needs to." May sighed. "Because sometimes...SOMEtimes...you really have done all you can, and the rest has to be on them, and if they won't take your hand, well..."

"Yeah. It's just...a hard lesson to learn." Senior admitted as he stroked over his children's heads some more. "Promise me you'll look after each other, okay? And...and I made a bunch of videos for all of you. Recorded myself giving some advice. I want you to play them whenever your birthdays roll around, and other special times and...well, I made a few in case you're just wanting to hear my voice." He finally added. "I..." His voice began to crack. "...oh, Irk, I love you all so much."

His grip on May tightened a bit, and she felt him shivering, trying to resist the tears. She tightened her own grip, and his children did the same.

"...and...and remember to...be a good person. Don't ever take the easy way out, the fast way out, the...the lazy way out. Be _better_ than that." He finished.

"...you wanna just look at the stars until the kids fall asleep?" May asked quietly. "I can tell you how they got those names."

"I'd like that. I'm glad I married someone as romantic as me." Senior whispered out, May rubbing her head against his shoulder as she gestured up, up at a faint constellation in the form of a giant pair of legs.

"Those are the legs of Ro. It's based off this oooold legend of how Vortians used to be slow and have such tiny, stubby little legs, we were always getting preyed on. But then a Vortian named Ro began practicing his jumping. And he'd jump here and there and everywhere! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!" May bragged.

And she was relieved to hear him laugh at that.

"And one day...it finally happened. He leaped right over the moon, right before everyone's eyes, and everyone began to follow his lead. They learned to jump like him, and after that, nobody could EVER outrace a Vortian..."

...

...

...

..."Have you decided what you want?"

Dib looked up, deep into Maht's eyes, knowing the eyes of so many other human prisoners were on him. He could faintly hear the beat of awful synth and club music outside, and was trying to ignore the very faint human screams he could hear as well. No doubt some of those sick monsters were playing "Spin the Human" or "Pin the Tack of the Human" or other twisted party games. He'd endured a full day of waiting for Maht to return to bring him and the other prisoners within this part of the underground facility their food, all of them knowing that any day could be their last, the day that an Irken decided to not just play with their food, but properly **finish** it.

All of them feared the horrific, nigh-inevitable death one of their captors would bring. But Dib had a plan. He'd told the other kids all about it, and they'd all been nervous at first, fearful, anxious and terrified. What if, after all...it didn't work? But...what other chance did they have? What other CHOICE did Dib have?

Dib blinked a bit, Maht gently sitting in the chair in front of Dib, calmly resting his hands in his lap. "I know Tak enjoys fiddling with you and sucking on you like a lollipop out there. It's humiliating, without a doubt. And if you want...I can end it."

"I want you to do something very specific in HOW you end it." Dib murmured. "Can you at least let me choose how you do it?"

Maht's eyes seemed to glitter. His tone became very cautious and guarded. "You know full well...your living body wouldn't make it out the door. The facility's scanners would ensure this. Those chips embedded within your leg would make such an escape impossible, and as I said, you can't just ask me to bite your leg off and let you go. I don't think you'd get very far on just one leg and...well, to be honest...even if you did ask, I..."

He now looked shamefacedly down and to the side. "I'm...I asked to give you all food and guard you like I do because I don't want to be out on the floors and...and I don't want to see the blood and the agony and hear the screaming. I could never be a medic like Jayd. I couldn't be on the front lines like Dite or Tak or Wiyn, I...I hate blood and guts and hearing such agony and pain. I want to help people without...seeing the hurt. Does that make sense?"

"I get it." Dib admitted quietly. "What I want you to do wouldn't make me bleed all over. I want you to _electrocute_ me."

Maht's eyes momentarily widened. For a moment, a blazing, victorious look slid across his face. "Very well. You overcame that particular barrier." He intoned, as he rose up, the other prisoners in their little cells watching on as a single PAK leg extended, and Maht held out his gloved hand for Dib to climb onto. The single light fixture high above softly shone, and faintly flickered a bit as if the darkness of the rest of the room wanted to swell up and engulf everything so that nobody could see what was about to happen.

"Go ahead. About...500 volts...at...just above 10 milliamps?" Dib quietly inquired.

The sharp, faintly spider-esque leg of the PAK sizzled and hissed, blue lightning sparking over the tip as Maht lowered it down at Dib, and then gently lifted something slightly out of his pocket.

"For later." He intoned at Dib, showing off the small rifle within before the sparking PAK leg touched Dib, and the electricity flowed through, everything going dark.

...and then...

Dib was awake. He was out, out in fresh air, feeling a soft breeze on his face, realizing they weren't too far from the Massive and where it had parked in the docking area of the city. He also realized something else and reeled back in disgust. Maht's front shirt was loaded up with vomit, smelling foul, rancid and nasty, like soup that had spoiled, intermingled with FAR too many bad sugary snacks, a soaking that covered Dib's OWN jacket.

But Dib had NEVER been so grateful to feel the wind on his face. He would have **kissed** the Irken in front of him for realizing what he'd wanted...but the look on Maht's face, the pained, indigo eyes looked so...wrong. The service drone's body was quaking, he looked pale as he chuckled a bit. "Had to...g-get you out...quick." He remarked. "Here's...what you'll...do. It's believable enough for them. Use the...growth...ray."

He gestured at the growth ray lying to the side, not far from the pool of vomit Maht had just splattered out, Dib clambering over to it, turning the mode on the side to fire ahead for a brief moment, activating it's "timer" function. Within a few seconds, he'd returned to his proper, normal size...and he noticed Maht was handing him the rifle he'd had in his pocket, shakily stuffing it into Dib's hand.

"You've got to...make it look like...you faked your d-death..." He murmured. "And...and made me puke you out. And when I was weak, you...f-finished me." Maht said, panting heavily, his chest rising and falling. "This way Tak c-can't get any information out of m-me, and she s-said she'd f-follow me b-back to the Massive to report in with S-Senior, p-pretend everything's just f-fine. You-you've got to get to...get to him before she can, and...and let him know everything she's d-done." Maht heaved out, struggling to stay up on his legs, only to flop to his knees. "He can...start striking b-back. We can...nip it all in the b-bud, as you say on Earth."

"I...I _can't_." Dib whispered, the gun shaking in his grip. The soft faint beeping of cars in the distance, a few birds chirping, the blowing of the wind, the lingering hum of the Massive's massive engines that let all within 100 yards know it was there...he couldn't hear any of it. It was if he'd entered a pocket of silence save for him and Maht, and his heartbeat, Maht's pained breathing...this was all he heard. "You...you don't deserve..."

"Yes. I...I _do_." Maht insisted quietly. "We have all done...AWFUL things, Dib. Please let me...do this for you. Let me help you, and help Senior one last time." He murmured, giving Dib a smile. "...come on. You'll n-need the practice, T-Tak and the others won't g-go down without a fight."

Dib's arms were shaking. He felt a ringing in his ears. He was slowly raising the rifle, aiming it squarely at Maht's head.

"That's it. Right in the head." Maht murmured. "Aim for the PAK or the head. Our legs won't mean anything if we've still got our PAK."

Dib closed his eyes, the tears forced out of his sockets. Now HE felt like the one who was going to throw up.

"You're a good kid." Maht said. "And you're still a good person."

Dib pulled the trigger.

...

...

...

...Peech gently wrapped Dib in a blanket, easing him onto the bed. Senior had been told everything, and he was mobilizing all he could to deal with the threat Tak now posed. He'd had to put off meeting with the rest of the intergalactic ruling body, which had been a let down for Senior. The green-eyed communications officer had confessed to Dib that he'd been wanting to sign over the last of the bases on Vort and other planets over to their proper owners, and to begin giving proper "restitution" to those the Irken race had ravaged.

Instead, he had stormed over to the underground facility as fast as he could with Dite and Xeil, hoping not too many in the military had gone over to Tak. Using Dib's information and following Maht's trail of dropped M&M and candy bar crumbs and puke droplets from his meal, they'd managed to break in and had caught the tail end of the party as it wound down...

And unfortunately, Tak wasn't there, neither was Wiyn...and with even DARTH nowhere to be found, Senior seemed to be very worried that deep, deep damage had been done. There'd been far, FAR too many people hanging around the facility. Not even rescuing the humans within had cheered him up.

It had made Dib feel a BIT better, knowing that what Maht had done hadn't been in vain.

...but not by much.

And so, Gaz sat next to Dib, giving him a somewhat sympathetic look, and she gently raised a hand, hesitated...then put it on his shoulder.

"You're gonna be okay. You're real strong." She said, letting go a few seconds later as Peech gave Dib some hot chocolate, Dib muttering out a "thanks" to both of them, his eyes looking sunken and hollow as Peech sat on the other end of Dib. As she sat down, Dib and Gaz noticed something very odd about the backpack/jetpack she wore, the big, slightly clumsy, dark orange thing was jingling, evidently full to the brim of...SOMETHING.

"What's...what's in there?" Dib found himself asking, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Peech now blushed at this and reached back, into a small compartment, and took out some small jewelry, little wristbands made of strange gemstones, a necklace here and there, a few rings..."I'm a kleptomaniac." She admitted. "And being on Earth means a whole lot of real nice, shiny things for me to snatch." She sighed a bit, slightly scratching at her knees after putting them away in her PAK again. "Irk doesn't have art. You remember that, right?"

Dib and Gaz nodded as Peech sighed again. "All of us on the Massive were...well, at least, us on the bridge, we were SO psyched with Senior let us come to Earth. Maht loved the food, Xeil and Dite loved all your movies and your books, Jayd couldn't get enough of your species's superheroes, Feyr and Darth were fascinated by your philosophies and religions, and I...I loved all the beautiful art you made. All the glittering, shiny art." She then reached into a shirt pocket, the orange-eyed guard taking out something different.

...a small little diamond-studded cross.

"Senior got this for me. Before, on Irk? The only way I got anything nice and shiny was if I won a medal in field exercises in training or out on the battlefield or by **stealing** something nice from an alien. But...look at me." Peech gestured at herself, at her rather lanky, slender frame as she wryly chuckled. "Do I look good enough to be on the front lines? I was a crappy shot. Worst aim ever. I was fast, sure. Slick. But I couldn't shoot right. Couldn't fight well. So I got diddly-squat. Then one day our communications officer, our boss right below our bosses, our "safety net" as he liked to call himself, starts going on and on about how he's been looking into Earth, and all the nice things IT has and how Irk had stuff like it so long ago but didn't anymore. And of course, well..."

Peech got a distant, far off look in her eye, and her tone lost some of the sandiness it had. "We wanted to know about it. "C'mon." I said. "It can't be that good. Not if ZIM'S on it. If it was that good, we woulda tried to send people to take it over ages ago!" And then he says he got everyone some gifts. And he gives me this." She held the cross up. "...and all I could think was...nobody had ever gotten me anything. Nobody ever gave me ANYTHING AT ALL. I never so much as earned a " **thank you** ". I was a stupid door guard. Nobody thanks you for doing your job. And here this big, green-eyed goof was, giving me something he said was worth fifteen times my paycheck for the month. Just because he knew I liked shiny, sparky stuff. And he said if I felt bad, I should rub it a bit, and think of the things I love, and it'd help."

Peech smiled wistfully, and stroked over it with one hand, sighing. "And it worked. If I got really depressed or tired just standing around and guarding the door to the bridge, I'd just stroke over it in my pocket, and I felt better, because...because it meant someone cared enough about me to get me this. And he didn't..." She stammered. "What meant...what meant a lot was...he didn't HAVE to. I mean...I was a stupid DOOR GUARD. We're almost just taking up space. Nobody ever really busts their way up to the bridge. We've never drawn our guns once. We didn't deserve nice stuff from people. But HE did. Red and Purple didn't, but he did. Because Senior's cool like that. And I'm...gonna miss that." She muttered. "...I'm gonna miss...him. Just standing there, that smile on his face faintly peeking out from under the mask, knowing he snuck something nice from Earth onto the Massive. Cuz we're not gonna be on Earth ever again. Not now. Not with what Tak's doing."

Dib slowly looked into her eyes as Peech looked back at him. "We CAN'T have her being around Earth. We just can't. Senior's insisted we not endanger any more humans. We're calling her out to Irk. Making a stand there. And she's too proud not to accept."

"Tak knows its probably a trap." Dib mumbled out. "...you really think she'll fall into it?"

"Senior's promised there'd be no traps. He doesn't intend to trick her and she knows he's...too nice and righteous to lie about that. It's just gonna be two forces clashing for control of our race, right at the palace of the Tallest on Irk." Peech admitted. "But you two should stay here, with your father. Feyr's bringing him over from the lab?"

"Feyr? That psychic? Why not Trik? It's his lab. Is he too busy?" Gaz asked. "Is he working on some kind of new supertoast with Dad?" She wisecracked.

"You didn't hear?" Peech asked, looking a bit surprised. "Trik's dead. He fell out a window."

Gaz stopped smiling. Dib looked a bit shocked, gazing from Peech to Gaz, mouth agape. How could an IRKEN die from that? "But...his PAK, surely he'd just use his spider-leg-thingies and...and..." Dib stammered, trying to comprehend this.

"He did it on purpose. He left his laboratory and all his work to Faith and then stepped off the balcony." Peech told them. "He wanted to make sure Faith had everything she'd need to succeed. But I'll leave you two alone, your dad should be by shortly, talkin' together ought to help."

With that, Peech left the two alone, waving goodbye as Dib stared down at the floor. His mind was beginning to swell and pulsate, as thoughts began to properly form in his head. Maht had deliberately helped him escape, and then had Dib kill him, all to help bring Tak down and to save Dib's life, and to help the humans inside. Maht had been HOPING Dib would choose a way of "dying" that wouldn't stick. And Trik had died immediately after giving Faith everything he'd possessed. Dib couldn't help but feel all this was connected, as if...they'd been just waiting for a chance to die. Even Tenn had said how happy she was just to die helping an Empire that actually cared about her. And Senior...

Dib remembered what Lard Nar had said about Senior. _"He's different, sure, but even he's talked about how he thought the old empire deserved to die."_

What was Dib missing? He thought, briefly, he could see it, but then...in an instant, it was gone, and just numbness and grief remained, briefly alleviated as his father entered the room at last, and gently put a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Do you want me to take you to our house?"

"...I'd like that."

"I can...um...r-read a story?" Professor Membrane offered. "Or are you too old for that, you-you may be too old for that." He admitted shamefully. "I could put on the original Star Wars trilogy on VHS, I kept this old box set!" He suggested instead. "A New Hope" has Darth Vader's head, "Empire Strikes Back" has a Stormtrooper's and "Return of the Jedi" has Yoda's. Have you ever seen the VHS versions?"

"No." Dib admitted, surprising himself with the smile that softly poked onto his face. "But I'd like to."


	11. Life Begins At The Other Side of Despair

**_"_ _I have loved justice, and hated iniquity, and therefore die in exile."_**

 ** _-Pope Gregory VII_**

* * *

"We appreciate you giving us this."

Lard Nar took hold of the keys being offered to him, the other members of the intergalactic community gathered around an enormous circular table within the Tallest's palace. Upon the walls were beautiful curtains detailing every single ruler of Irk, but without a doubt, the Tallest were given priority over the previous rulers, what few there had been. Instead of silver-laced backgrounds the Tallest had gold, and whilst the more average, less tall rulers looked pretty decent, the Tallest's images were meant to be larger than life.

Tallest Grapa was pointing dramatically over an enormous field of Irkens who were all bowing in reverence, his eyes blazing as brightly as the sky behind him, illuminated by the sun. Tallest Genek, even in his old age, looked cunning and keen, he was pouring over gigantic maps and star charts that he held aloft for others to see, people looking on it in awe. Tallest Rankor was in the middle of wrestling a Meekrobian Dragon Hornet to the ground, strangling it with his bare hands, blood flowing freely as his claws dug into it, the enormous beast twice as large as he was as he killed the apex predator of Meekrob before the Meekrobians own eyes. Tallest Miyuki sat in a chair, holding aloft Planet Irk in one hand, smiling delightedly at the enormous assembled crowd of aliens that were all bowing before her, her other hand holding aloft a finely-crafted goblet of vortian firewhisky, and Tallest Spork was standing atop the Massive, pointing dramatically as he aimed forth at the stars, a comet streaking by him, fists pumped into the air by the crowd below.

Red and Purple's tapestry had been HEAVILY vandalized. There'd been so many dicks drawn on it that it was nigh-impossible to really tell what the original tapestry looked like.

"Being...grateful to an Irken is an experience we have no really felt since the days of Rankor." said the Meekrobian leader Sarong, who's slightly spiky head flickered about, his glowing, luminescent body hovering in the air along with his compatriots that hovered by him. "After centuries, our planets will finally be free of all Irken facilities...and all Irkens. It is a solemn day in-" He stopped, taking notice of one of his fellow Meekrobians. "EZRAIM!"

"And THIS one's gonna be kinda droopy!" murmured a Meekrobian with a large black marker who was making his own addition to Tallest Red and Purple's tapestry. An angry growl rose up from the end of the room as the Meekrobian blushed and dropped the marker, zipping back to his friends.

At the other end of the room were Senior and the staff of the Massive, save for a small platoon to remain upon the ship, and the platoon that remained with Peech and Feyr, who had stayed behind on Earth. Senior had finished giving the assembled other aliens the keys to the Irken facilities on all of the formerly conquered planets, and had just signed several documents that they needed to sign as well. "This will be more than enough to cover the expenses of full rebuilding, ESPECIALLY for demolition of those stupid package-shipping facilities on your planet." Senior offered warmly to the Screw-Heads leader as his jet black eyes gazed at the paper below.

The man signed...then chuckled. "Honestly, we intend to keep them."

"You do?" Dite asked, sounding a bit stunned. "Gotta be honest, Screw Head, got no idea WHY, I mean...wouldn't they be a reminder of all the shit we did to you?"

"It can be. Or we can actually make use of them and ship packages for our OWN profit." The Screw Head leader proclaimed. "We will make proper use of them to ship packages all over the galaxy...and we'll do it without being electrocuted for taking too long a coffee break."

"And we're keeping the Galaxy's Comfiest Couch." Lard Nar confessed as the other aliens around him all nodded in agreement, an alien made entirely of crystal rubbing her hands together eagerly. "But we're gonna start charging people to lie on it."

"How much?" The crystal alien inquired.

"100 a pop."

"...awwww." She pouted at this, then dug into her chest compartment pockets and handed Lard Nar a hundred credits on the spot. "Here. I'll get in early!" She said, other aliens diving into their own pockets as Lard Nar chuckled a bit.

"I'll be happy to take your orders, really. I'll have you know that before I was in the Resisty and before I became Vort's new ruling executive officer, I worked in fast food. So I'm used to pushy customers."

"WE WISH TO BE DONE WITH THIS."

Senior sighed, glancing back. In a set of enormous tanks were the remaining Control Brains that Zim HADN'T driven insane. There honestly weren't many...only five, and Senior was pretty sure "Control Brain Tau" was fast asleep and was just pretending to be awake. The faint bubble stream coming from the floating "brain in a jar" was very distinguishable.

"We'll have everyone sign the papers and then we can move on to the real issue. Tak will be here, on Irk, within an hour, and she's bringing all her forces. So I urge everyone to hurry up and leave. And not to stick around, either, and bust out the popcorn, because I know SOME of you would love to do that." Senior admitted as the aliens variously looked at each other, some looking offended, others guilty, some trying to surpress laughter. "Everything we've done here is a good step towards fixing the wrongs of the past. We're not even close to being even, but...I hope its a sign to all of you of my intentions and my willingness to right what went wrong."

"Words are but wind." Sarong intoned. "Still, with all of your race no longer on our planets, and your influence soon to be completely scrubbed from them with these papers and the keys you've given, it is indeed strong action. More will be needed in the future if you truly do want to wash away the sins of the past."

"I don't really believe in "washing away". None of us do." Senior said, gesturing at the crew around him, Xeil nodding.

"Red and Purple behaved outrageously but we need to be honest. They were symptomatic of a much bigger problem, and that was the fact that the Irken Empire was dying, and frankly, with leaders like them? It deserves to."

"Our society's in really deep denial." Jayd confessed, the black-eyed medic deeply sighing. "We're a culture that insists on our superiority and on needing nobody, being war machines devoted to the cause and nothing else, giving our all to the Empire, and being brilliant tacticians and warriors...well, we don't really do that, do we?"

"Because when we're not stuffin' our faces with snacks or stealing OTHER PEOPLE'S work and passing it off as our own, we're watching our "glorious leaders" lounge about the bridge and stuffing their own faces with nachoes. Red and Purple were gluttons, slobs, lazy jerks who couldn't really do anything on their own and insisted on holding us to a standard they wouldn't hold themselves to!" Dite grumbled angrily.

"Corruption at the highest levels of our government has always been an issue. I mean...except for Miyuki, there's not been one Tallest I've genuinely respected." Senior confessed. "And how many times have we been asked to cover up the crimes of our leaders just because we were told it was for the good of the Empire?" He went on.

"IS THERE SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT TELLING US?"

The Control Brain at the head inquired, Control Brain Mu sounding confused.

"YOU HAD INFORMED US THAT RED AND PURPLE HAD SHIRKED THEIR DUTY AND HAD PRESENTED QUITE A CASE AS TO WHY YOU DESERVED TO BE IN CHARGE, AND WE AGREED WITH YOU FOR WE DID FIND THOSE TWO TO BE SEVERELY LACKING. YET I HAVE THE FEELING THEY DID SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT TELLING US ABOUT."

"..." Senior bit his lip. "...and here it is. I consider myself a nice guy...and what does it say about me that I'm willing to cover up what Red and Purple did?" He mumbled. "...the truth is, Control Brains, Red and Purple...um..." He sighed again. "I caught them in bed together. They've been having a homosexual relationship for decades, evidently. We just never really had anything beyond rumors and scuttlebutt and gossip. And they were faking their tallness. They were actually really short. Their bodies weren't their real bodies."

 _ **"WHAT?!"**_

The Control Brains's eyes flashed, blazing darkly. They sounded furious, baleful, the other aliens in the room nervously withdrawing, stepping away from the dark table, inching back over the dark blue carpet below.

"THIS IS _**UNACCEPTABLE!**_ WHY DID YOU NOT INFORM US OF THIS?"

"Because if I did, you would have ordered them executed." Senior commented. "If I just presented a case of them being lazy gluttonous slobs and pigs who kept screwing stuff up and not doing any of the real work, you'd just let me replace them and demote them, and that meant I could get them out of the way without killing them. Of course, you probably want them dead now. So I had them shipped off to Irk and they're currently in the Sugar mines below the capital. Luckily, they've responded great to therapy, they stopped trying to poison my sodas. Now they just settle for licking all the cans. Every single soda has "licked by Red or Purple" written on them on the Massive."

"I keep forgetting how immature your species is." Lard Nar mumbled...though he was trying very hard not to laugh as the Control Brains began turning red as a beet, shaking furiously, their eyes bulging balefully. Clearly, immaturity was not limited to the people who chose leaders based on height...and who had their laws interpreted by gigantic brains with eyeballs embedded in them who were probably swimming in their own toilet.

"THAT IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. WE WILL BE HAVING WOOOORDS WITH YOU ONCE THIS IS ALL OVER AND TAK IS DEALT WITH. BUT FIRST, ALL OF YOU OTHERS, OUT, OUT, OUT! THIS IS NOW AN IRKEN MATTER! FIRST WE SHALL DEAL WITH TAK AND HER TRAITORS, AND THEN YOU, SENIOR, WILL PERSONALLY BRING US RED AND PURPLE SO WE CAN WATCH YOU SHOOT THEM! AND IF YOU ARE LUCKY, WE WON'T HAVE YOU TOSSED OUT AN AIRLOCK!"

"I'll be sure to remember that, Control Brain Beta." Senior said solemnly, giving a nod to the other assembled aliens. "Goodbye. Especially you, Lard. Take care of May."

The others left, Lard quietly nodding back, his eyes behind his goggles solemn and sad as he slowly turned around, and exited the Tallest's palace as Senior turned on his communicator. "We need to begin. It's time. Execute code A113."

...

...

...

... "It's good to see you finally finished." Feyr said to Professor Membrane and Faith as people gathered out in the town square, eyes wide as they beheld the many missiles that laid atop the enormous stage. Behind it was a great red curtain that the professor, Faith and the many scientists and assistants at the laboratory stood in front of as Peech nonchalantly sat nearby on a chair, munching away on, of all things, a peach. "You no doubt have a speech prepared?" He inquired.

"Oh, without a doubt!" Professor Membrane insisted as he nodded enthusiastically behind the large white overcoat he wore that rose up so high it covered most of his face. It was a good thing too, because he didn't want Feyr to see the complicated expression that now lingered upon it. Faith, meanwhile, was looking over the missiles, back turned to Feyr and Peech and hoping the psychic would respect her mind's privacy, praying they wouldn't peek inside her head...or anyone else's on stage. "But you needn't have come here. Does the hospital not still need you?"

"I just helped with another difficult delivery. My last one!" Feyr insisted, shaking his head, his slightly frilly-esque antennae bouncing about, pink eyes a-glitter. "This is more important. Today's the day you leave behind a cleaner, better future for your children and your children's children. I wanted to be there to see it."

"Yeah, you guys have done real damn good work. Gotta admit, I didn't think you could do it at first." Peech said as she nodded at the platoon of Irken soldiers stationed as guards around the stage, and they lowered their weaponry and sat down on some chairs of their own, popping what looked like some tic-tacs into their mouth as Peech finished eating up her peach. "But you humans sure like to surprise us! Also, WOW, these are good." She added, holding up the peach, Faith turning around, getting a good look.

Odd. There were some very faint remnants of...some kind of medication littered around the munch marks on the peach. Had the orange-eyed Irken been eating the fruit to get some kind of allergy medicine down? "You take any drugs?" Faith asked aloud as she finished her inspection of the pollution-dissolving missiles and walked over to Peech. "I know that must be a personal question but-"

"Not until today." Peech laughed, Faith looking at her in confusion as Feyr shook Professor Membrane's hand.

"You're going to be remembered forever for this, Membrane. You and your crew have done amazing work. Just be sure to remember to be there for your family more now that you've done all this." Feyr added, heading over to a chair of his own and sitting down, popping a pill into his own mouth from a pocket as Membrane gestured dramatically at the missiles, clearing his throat.

"The pollution of this planet has been an issue for decades and decades. In our advance towards a brighter future, we darkened the sky without realizing the true issues that faced us! But now we can begin to reverse the damage and make life better for all who call Earth home! Today...we create a brighter, better future! An end to the dark fog that descended over our world! We return the world to its proper place!"

"And people." Feyr quietly chuckled, Membrane not hearing it as he pulled out a remote control, the immense throng of humans cheering, whooping and hollering as Membrane pressed the "fire" button. SCHWOOOOOOOOOM! The missiles launched up into the air, high, high, into the sky, one after the other as Faith stared at Peech, mouth slightly agape, as if trying to comprehend something that was just on the tip of her tongue.

Meanwhile, on Irk, the enormous flagship that was the Massive faced down the "Dreadnut", a moniker compromise between "Doughnut" and "Dreadnought" given to the second-largest ship in the Irken fleet. Irk's moon was obscured by the huge waves of ships that now surrounded the planet, a house divided against itself for all to see. Dib and Gaz were observing everything from the planet, Zim stuck in his capsule but looking quite delighted as he watched on with everyone else.

As the divided Irken fleet faced off in the skies above Irk and in the outer ring of the planet, Tak, Wiyn and Darth faced down Xeil, Senior and Dite, all of them standing with their many platoons of fighters, rifles ready and loaded, some holding bazookas or heavy duty grenade launchers. Various mech suits shifted and grumbled, their pilots taking aim as Senior stood at the front of the battlefield, just outside the capital of Irk.

"We noticed quite a lot of Irken shuttle ships leaving not too long after those filthy goaty heads and THEIR ships left." Tak intoned loudly as Dib and Gaz watched from the Tallest's palace with Jayd, Zim and, lastly, the Control Brains themselves, who had erected cameras around their "glorious visage" and were now hovering high in the air behind them, taking everything in, and broadcasting it all across the Empire...all across the galaxy. They wanted everyone to see this. To see how the Control Brains rewarded those who defied them.

And above all, to show that the Irken race hadn't exactly gone 'soft'.

"So! All smeets are no doubt off the planet?" Tak inquired.

"We insisted the future of Irk not get caught in the crossfire. Skoodge and some others have taken them somewhere you'll never find them." Senior yelled back.

"Oh, we'll get the location out of you. We'll beat it out of you if we have to." Tak intoned, pacing back and forth inf ront of Senior. "So let's make this clear. I'm a better tactitian than you are, Senior. You haven't got a prayer."

Wiyn was sharpening her knives upon themselves as they gleamed in the light of Irk's sun. Faint CLANG-CLANG-CLANG noises echoed across the dirty field as wind fluttered around them all, Darth glancing from Senior to Tak, then to Wiyn.

"Dib...Gaz?" Jayd inquired of the two as they peered down from the roof of the Tallest's palace along with the Control Brains. "Are you sure you want to watch all this?"

Unbeknownst to him, the two had been preparing. Just like Professor Membrane, they'd been getting everything ready on their end. It would soon be time to put their plan into motion, and Gaz took out her smartphone, typing away into it. "Just gonna make sure I can record all this on Social Media." She lied, Dib getting out his own phone. But he wasn't typing to his followers, oh no. He was readying the launch code for his own missiles, and Gaz was getting ready to hit the fleet with the virus they'd crafted.

"We wanna record this for posterity." Dib added convincingly. "I wanna be able to tell my kids what I was doing, where I was when all this went down."

"Oh, I don't doubt that." Jayd remarked softly.

"I've tried to show you that the ends don't justify the means. That we need to be better than what came before." Senior insisted. "...and I'm very, VERY sorry that despite having a chance to see how the grass is greener on this side, you'd rather be "meet the new boss, same as the old boss"." Senior said in return.

"Oh, I AGREE with you that we need to be better. But your idea of "better" and mine aren't the same." Tak said with a shrug. "Red and Purple were incompetent and stupid. You're competent, yes...but in a way, you're just as stupid as they are. You really think the rest of the galaxy won't turn on us at all? That if we just say we're sorry and give them some nice gifts and show our belly, they'll just smile and clap us on the back and say "Hey, all water under the bridge"?" She wanted to know.

"Of course they won't forgive us easily. That doesn't mean you don't try." Senior responded. "You can't throw morality in the garbage just because life's tough!"

"Ahh, that old morality argument." Tak laughed. "That has NOTHING to do with that. That's not the way things work. We're an empire now. When we act, we make our own reality. And everyone will just be left to study what we do. It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, Senior! Those concepts have no meaning! It's time we do what has to be done. Once we've beaten you, we'll deal with those disgusting skaatel, one planet after the other!"

"You're not doing this, Tak. We're not letting you."

"How disappointing." Tak sighed. "I honestly thought you'd take the smart option and just run for it...oh, who am I kidding?" She chuckled. "You're too NOBLE to ever do that! You really think if you just beat me up, the rest of my men will fall into line?"

"Something like that."

"I have trained snipers on you, Senior, all I need do is say the word and it's over!" Tak snorted, shaking her head. "You really think I care about fighting fair?"

 **SCHLUCK!**

Dib and Gaz stared, mouth agape. Tak's eyes bulged. Senior quietly looked on, Wiyn whipping her head, shocked and stunned at what they all beheld.

Darth had stabbed her clean through her PAK, right out through her chest, his bare, clawed hand clenched into a fist, a powerful surge of psychic, telekinetic energy formed into an immense spiked blade that now held the PAK slightly up in the air through her ribcage. Dark blood oozed out, her superorgan in tatters, Tak's mouth letting out a faint, gurgling gasp, a horrific, high-pitched whine as she slowly turned her head to look into Darth's white eyes.

"Wh...why...?" She began to say. "You...YOU?"

"Morals cloud judgment." Darth whispered back at her. "Morals taint conclusions! Morals define unwanted prejudices! They're not welcome here! So why shouldn't I just STAB YOU IN THE CHEST? After all. Morals. Don't. Matter."

And with that, he withdrew his arm, Tak flopping onto the ground, the air so thick you could have cut into it with a knife. It was as if a kind of electricity was surging through it, everyone was paralyzed, holding their breath, stunned by what happened as Darth crushed the PAK in his hands.

"See...this is why we stood by Senior. Because he actually cared about us. And you? Well...you've only ever really cared about yourself. I thought, maybe if you had the right influence, you'd learn to care more about others. But I suppose that Earth phrase is true. You can lead a horse to water...but you cannot make them drink." The blind Irken intoned, the pieces of Tak's PAK falling down to the ground around him. "I want you to think about that for the few agonizing minutes you have left in your life."

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL WAITING FOR?!" Wiyn screeched out as she finally whipped around at the rest of Tak's forces. "SHOOT THEM, SHOOT THEM, SHOOT THEM!"

It was raw chaos. The air was filled with the KRAKKA-KRAKKA-KOW of heavy duty plasma fire. Darth ducked, racing towards Senior, erecting a psychic shield to stop the KA-KRAK of sniper shots that were halted in midair from his dear friend. Senior, in turn, looked mournfully down at Tak's gurgling frame as he covered his face with one gloved hand, and shook it back and forth.

Mech suits took aim, and let loose payloads that whizzed across the battlefield. The rockets red glare...the bombs bursting in air! High above in the skies, the Massive and the Dreadnut were unloading everything they had upon each other as bright, reddish/orange beams of laser light cascaded over everyone's heads. Dite and Xeil held hands, briefly smiling at each other, leaning in for the tiniest peck on their lips before placing their respective masks over the lower parts of their faces and barreling forth with loud war cries.

Senior whipped out his own pistols, shooting across the dusty ground, his eyes turned to dark green slits as he aimed and fired at the snipers who were caught off guard by his charge, Darth flying alongside him, suspended by his psychic might. The loud, booming sounds of rocket fire kept echoing through the air as the first casualty of the fleets fell down, down, down! KRUKCHA-THROOOOM! It crashed into the ground, people being sent flying from the shuddering quake as chunks of the capitol went up in flames.

Zim gazed on in amazement, his eyes wide. "Look at all this." He murmured. "They're tearing each other apart! It's...I've never seen anything like it!"

"Are you getting OFF on this?!" Gaz asked, sounding rather disgusted. "Seriously?"

"It's too beautiful for Zim's words! And that's saying quite a lot." Zim murmured, wiping a tear from his eye. "Just think about it, Gaz! The clash of the greatest ideologies the Irken empire's ever had! Not even Tak's death will stop this! And when its all over...ZIM will reign over Irk!" He proclaimed, pointing dramatically up into the air. "You will let me out of this capsule when its all over, right?"

"...you seriously think, after everything you did to me over the years, all your crappy, ugly behavior, your stupidity, your arrogance..." Dib said, his eyes glowering. "That I'm gonna let you out and let you try your hand at taking over Irk just cuz you think everyone else who might fit the bill will die here?"

"Better the devil you know than the one you don't!" Zim reasoned, putting a hand on his chest and winking at Dib. "Those therapy sessions have had me realize a lot about myself! I never really needed Earth! I just needed respect. And with Irk in tatters, well...this time, why NOT go for me as leader? I can't possibly do any more damage to it than they've done!" He remarked, jabbing his thumb at the battlefield before Gaz and Dib ducked, avoiding a rocket that barely missed their heads.

"YOU'VE SOME NERVE." Said Control Brain Tau with a snarl. "HAD WE STILL MOUTHS WE'D EAT YOU OURSELVES WITH A NICE BOLOGNESE SAUCE!"

Dib and Gaz looked briefly at each other. Their hands hovered over their smartphones. They could give the command right now.

"...do we really want to do this?" Dib murmured softly.

"We've come too far to back out now." Gaz insisted. "We can't let something like this happen again. We can't let another Tak happen."

"...you're right." Dib mumbled, as his finger pressed the button, and he bit into his lip. For a moment he felt the ugly, foul coldness of self-disgust dig into his very soul, like his heart was being gripped by a slimy hand. Gaz momentarily flinched a bit as she glanced upward, Dib looking up as well, seeing the missiles fly from behind him, from their special locations he'd set up in secret in the city.

Everyone had just been so busy evacuating the children of Irk they'd never seen him and Gaz do what needed to be done as they placed their rockets at strategic locations...rockets loaded with the chemicals needed to alter Irk's atmosphere and induce rain. Tak's rebellion had thrown a monkey wrench in the plan to ask Vort and other races for help but...in the end, Dib was happier this way. He hadn't wanted to endanger their lives, not if he could help it.

And there it was.

"What in the...?"

"Holy..."

"How the?!"

The ships high above were being devastated, not merely by laser and plasma fire, and missiles ripping them apart, but many were being shut down, Gaz's virus doing exactly what it'd been programmed to do. The ships were being absolutely crippled, and many were transforming from the immense, gigantic robot mechs that had been meant to be the fleet's best weapons...into gigantic, huge penises. A final mocking insult before they exploded in a fiery cataclysmic burst.

Chunks of the ships were sailing down, down onto the planet below, people running for their lives as the Control Brains stared on in amazement, stunned by what was happening as Zim's mouth gaped open even wider before he turned to Gaz. "...you did this." He realized. "You did all this, didn't you?"

"Me and Dib. The "transforming ship" thing was my idea."

"Of course. It's always you." Zim murmured as he saw the clouds now gathering above the battlefield, clouds he knew very well, clouds he had so dearly hated upon Earth, for it meant rain, and being forced to bathe in glue. And he knew nobody on the planet today had thought to bathe in glue. "...you've...killed us. You planned all this. I...I've not seen anything so devious and diablocal and twisted. Why...Zim thinks he may actually be prouder of you than he's ever been." He remarked at Dib and Gaz, nodding a bit. "You really would make good Irkens."

Dib grunted darkly, folding his arms over his chest as the Control Brains gasped in surprise, feeling the first remnants of the rain falling, as Gaz smiled and tapped on her synthetic eye, turning back to them. "I imagine you'd like to do a lot to us right now. But see, unlike this puppy? Designed for Earth weather LIKE rain? I'm guessing...you guys don't rust-proof any of your stuff on Irk."

Indeed...they didn't. Before their eyes, weapons, buildings, ship parts and even the PAKs and Control Brains were being rusted over by the burst of rain that was plowing down upon the battlefield, Wiyn screaming, howling in agony as she writhed on the ground. "AAGGHHH! I'm melting!" She shrieked, looking at her gloved hands. "MEEELLTTIIIIIING!"

Indeed, many, many Irkens were melting away, flesh being burned off their frames, their howling screams echoing through the air as Dib and Gaz watched the Control Brains's frames being completely rusted through, their screaming, furious roars silenced as the Dib and Gaz and Zim turned back to the battlefield and noticed something.

...yes, many Irkens were dying. But others were just calmly walking past their fellow dissolving brethren and over to Senior. All of them belonging to the Massive's crew, as Senior smiled softly back up at Dib and Gaz and Zim, who stared in confusion, not sure what to make of all this before Darth finally approached the Tallest's palace.

"Would you like me to help you down?" He inquired.

The two kids looked at each other, then nodded, Darth holding a hand up, hovering the brother and sister down so they could stand upon the ground, and see the remaining Irkens taking off their rusted-over PAKs.

"We've got ten minutes." Senior said quietly, Jayd going over to one of the cameras that had not been rusted over by the rain that poured down around them all, drenching them thoroughly, providing a drumbeat of white noise that filled the air. "Let's make it count."

"What's going on?" Dib asked, looking around at them all as Jayd rapped the sides of the camera, then nodded.

"The plastic casing held on this one. So the others on the Tallest's palace that caught the battle should be good as well." The medic remarked, saluting Senior as Senior smiled back at Dib.

"Dib...I wanted you and your family and friends to do this." He told the black-haired young lad, Dib's eyes widening behind the glasses. "I've learned that people unite easily when they're against a common enemy. I decided...I'd make myself that enemy for your people. And give you all the resources you'd need to find out a way to kick us off not only your world...but even our own."

"Well, not just you." Jayd confessed. "Faith and your father and others. We had them brought together, the best minds for the job. Peech and Feyr are probably explaining it all to them even now."

"So we let you have access to all the technology we had to offer." Peech informed Professor Membrane, holding the rusted-over wreck that was her PAK in her lap as Feyr sat calmly in a meditative pose, the rays of the sun slowly burning at his skin as he kept his head bowed. "We gave you everything you'd want to hurt us."

"We figured what you were up to when you asked for those atmospheric readings of Irk. We kinda kept a camera in your room. We saw you'd hidden the readouts of Earth and Irk's atmosphere in that vitamin jar." Xeil admitted. "Or rather, Peech did. She'd been following you around for a while, keeping an eye on you when you were working with the other humans."

"And we let Gaz make the adjustments to the fleet because we had a damn good idea of what she wanted to do. We checked the diagrams and readouts of the ships after the upgrades to be sure, of course and, sure enough! You'd deliberately sabotaged the fleet...AND the Massive. Real nice work!" Dite added. "But we didn't tell Tak about it. We were going to, but...well, she decided that she wasn't a team player."

"I'd been trying to keep an eye on her. I thought the more time I spent with her, getting her to open up, trying to show her how there'd be a better way would work." Darth intoned softly, hanging his head. "...it didn't. Maybe it's better this way."

"You... **wanted** us to kill you?" Dib finally managed to say, clutching at his head. Suddenly it all made sense. Why Senior let Dib and Gaz and all those humans have so much power and free reign. The way he'd talked about how different he was from other Irken leaders. Placing the lives of humans over his own race time and time again.

"We might not be good enough to be the change the Irken race needs." Senior confessed. "Because so much of the old is still stuck in us, infecting us. But for a lot of other people, including our children, it isn't too late. They've got what it takes. So I talked it over with all my compatriots on the Massive and we...we decided to be the common enemy the galaxy and your race needed. If there were going to be sacrifices to make things better, they had to be our own. We couldn't force them on anyone else."

"Our smeets won't grow up in a world that will hate them for wanting to hold hands in public when they're the same gender." Xeil insisted.

"Our next generation won't be pressured or forced into killing things in training exercises the very month they're born." Dite added.

"And they'll be raised lightyears and lightyears away on colonies we didn't tell anybody about, and without PAKs that will force them to think what some Empire wants. With time, people will hopefully forgive all the monstrous things our race did. They'll see we've been punished. But it will take time. A lot of time." Jayd confessed.

"Skoodge'll be a great nanny." Darth laughed. "He's got the Santa Claus laugh down pat and everything. And he and all the others we picked will teach the Irkens that remain to be better than we ever were. Free of any other influence. The way it ought to be."

"Lard Nar knows, doesn't he? And...so does your wife? Your family?" Dib asked, Senior nodding in agreement. "They were okay with this? Really?"

"Not at first, but...eventually, they agreed. I...I'm gonna miss them so much." Senior whispered, taking in a deep breath. "I...ohh, my head is all **swimmy**. We've only got a few minutes..."

Indeed, the Irkens were all looking more and more sickly, many of them lying down on the ground, struggling to breathe. Their faces were pale, breaking out into a sweat as Senior coughed heavily, trying to stand up. "We're...the enemy humanity needed to stand against...and...the enemy the galaxy needed too. You...have everything you need now...to do amazing things. We've left you and the other races all the best parts our race had to offer. Do something better with it than...than we did. And I know you will. You're still a good person. I wish I could have been better. But if I WAS a better person...I wouldn't be here now... _would I_?"

Senior coughed madly, hacking and spluttering, as one by one, the other Irkens closed their eyes, their bodies shutting down, the shells of their frame entering the embrace of death as Senior fell to his knees, his head bowed, his spiky antennae flopping in the wind. "No matter...wh-what...happens...don't b-be too...hard on yourself. After everything you did, you can still g-go home. Gonna...miss our lunches together. Miss...Earth. It could be so PRETTY. And you..." He confessed. " _You've been such a good friend_."

Dib knelt down, squeezing his gloved hand, holding on tight. "I'm sorry." He whispered out. "I'm so, **so** sorry."

"...you have nothing...to apologize for." Senior whispered back, his eyes slowly drooping closed.

And with that, his eyes went dull, and he moved no more.


	12. Here Comes The Sun

"Wow, this painkiller's amazing. I can barely feel a thing."

Faith was astounded. The young African American woman's mouth was positively agape as she looked at the sizzling, hissing, burning Irken sitting neatly in that chair on the stage, Feyr nonchalantly lying next to her, humming a bit, hands in his lap, head quietly bowed. The platoon of Irken guards, one by one, had laid down their weapons and were quietly waiting as the sunlight beamed down upon them all. For the people of Earth, it felt, in many ways, as if they were feeling the sunlight for the first time. Everything was warm and light and softness.

For the Irkens though, Faith and Professor Matthew Membrane knew...they KNEW it must have been agony. With the pollution cleared from the skies above, there was nothing to dull the effects of Earth's UV radiation. Yet these alien invaders were as content as could be.

And it was then that the truth hit the two scientists as they looked at each other, then at Feyr and Peech.

"You **wanted** this to happen." Faith murmured. "Trik was in on all this. That's why he killed himself."

"You allowed us to get this far. I should have realized eventually you'd learn we were looping the lab footage. When did you figure it out?"

"Second week in." Feyr intoned. "For what it's worth, that's VERY impressive. We Irkens tend to overlook too much. We miss the small details in the name of the bigger picture. That's a problem my race has. Along with being...disgustingly bigoted." He added with a frown.

"And lacking any sense of the value of free will." Peech added. "If I'm gonna die...I die free." She insisted, holding her head eye, orange eyes blazing like fire. "I don't want to be a part of a society like Irk anymore. I wanted to do things on my own terms. And Senior let me. This was the least I could do for him. And I can be happy knowing that the next gen of little Irkens are gonna grow up in a world where nobody will TELL them what they can't be. Where anything will be possible. And you guys will get your planet back."

She smiled a little at Faith. "I don't like making other people do things for me. And I hate bullies. Always felt people oughta do what they want. **Everyone**. Long as it wasn't your boot on their face."

"And we Consulars have hated Irken society for eons. When you are exposed to the cruelest, sickest, most foul, gluttonous, barbaric, hypocritical thoughts possible for years and years, then getting to experience the mindscapes of the "inferior" races like Vortians or Screw Heads or the Arcadians, it's like...it's like looking at someone hand-crafting a table and comparing that to a factory-produced model. You just think..."I thought this craft had been completely forgotten! Why doesn't EVERYONE make chairs like this"?" Feyr mused aloud with a little chuckle. "Those other races had such better lives. Better thoughts. Better spirits. I wanted that for the next generation. It's just a shame I won't be able to see it."

"You really are gonna do amazing things. Trik was right about you." Peech added with a little smile.

"And he left you guys one more present. It's in his office and on his personal computer at the lab. There's a folder marked "Bye". The password's "Swordfish". He thought it was funny." Feyr murmured, his eyes beginning to close. "I think I'll...take a nap...because I'm...so...sleepy..."

And with that, he flopped off his chair, finally fading from consciousness, Peech keeling over in HER chair, the humans assembled staring in shock at what they'd just heard as Faith slowly blinked, strange feelings welling in her before she finally decided...

"Let's go check that computer."

"I wanna do it properly."

Gaz nodded a bit, stepping away and watching as, one after the other, Dib began to dig and dig. The rain had, at long last, finally faded. Dib and Gaz had been left staring at the scene before them, at the waves and waves of dead. Many an Irken body was horribly burnt, razed, almost unrecognizable, yet Senior and the Massive's crew hadn't been so damaged. They, who'd seen it coming, almost looked like they could have been sleeping.

And then Zim had spoken.

"Well? You're going to let me out, aren't you?" Zim offered with a little smile up at Dib and Gaz. They stared at him, almost incredulously, scarcely able to believe he was really asking this. "Come on, Dib! It's me! Zim!" He insisted. "You know you'd never just abandon me her in a little plastic ball! And after all the horror you've just seen, well...surely you won't ADD to it? Of course you won't! You won't do it!"

Dib picked that ball off from the ground he'd dropped it onto as he descended down from the Tallest's palace. He looked Zim squarely in the eyes, Zim's smile beginning to fade a bit as a horrific, icy chill now sunk into his heart. He was beginning to really realize something. Perhaps Dib wasn't quite as noble as he had assumed for so long. And perhaps Dib had simply crossed a line that there wasn't any coming back from.

"...you...w-won't...do it?" Zim squeaked out.

"No. Not even for the likes of YOU." Dib finally decided, opening up the capsule and putting Zim on the ground. "...you know what, Zim?"

"What?" Zim asked with a little smug grin.

 _"...you're not fucking worth it."_

And with that, and a final shake of his head, Dib walked off, towards the battlefield, to where Senior and the others now laid. Gaz, meanwhile, plucked Zim up. POINK! And put him in her palm. "Wh-where are we going?"

"Shut it." She snapped. "...I want to see what he wants."

And so, one after the other, Dib laid each in graves that he dug. Zim occasionally sounding like he wanted to say something...but Gaz gave him a foul, evil look with her mechanical eye, silencing him. Dib had panted and sweated, tearing off his jacket, feeling every single swing of the big rifle he was using TO dig was a gift to the beings he had both hated, feared, admired and loved all at once.

Senior had been the last to be laid down, Dib getting out of the grave he'd dug as he looked down at Senior, then at Gaz. "Should we say something?"

"Oh I'll say-" Zim began.

Dib gave him a very dark glower. Zim held his hands up. "It will be nice! Zim promises!"

Gaz nodded. "Okay. Let her rip."

Zim cleared his throat, and then spoke. "You were very tall. And your secret plan to decimate the Irken race was so diabolically clever and ingenious that Zim wishes HE had thought of it. It takes much to impress Zim. Were you not dead, you'd no doubt be very pleased to hear I think so highly of your scheming skills, Senior."

"That may be the nicest thing I've ever heard you say about another Irken." Dib remarked as Gaz nodded curtly, accepting this backhanded complimentary eulogy as Dib looked from Zim to her, his amber/golden eyes gazing at her, seeing the synthetic onyx eye she had, the red pupil, the faint rim of gold. "You wanna say anything?"

"I'm not good at...the feels. I'm just not. I guess I can say that...it sucks that you turned out to be better than I thought you were. If you were what I'd thought you were, I wouldn't feel like such shit right now." Gaz muttered. "But I guess I'm also glad I got to meet you all. Cuz you were pretty cool sometimes. For..." She smiled a little. "...for dorks that liked Christmas songs like "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" unironically."

Dib nodded at this, and he turned to look down at Senior, biting his lip. What could he say? What could he possibly say, knowing everything he now knew? He hestiated, rubbing the back of his neck, a faintly cold wind blowing through his black hair.

"I...I don't know what to say. I guess I'm surprised you ended up being better than I thought you were too. And yet...also worse. I don't know if I still like you after what you did. I get WHY you did it, but...I don't think I'll ever know if I really agree with it. But I guess I can live with it. And I won't look back in anger, because...at the end of the day, you cared. You cared, and you tried, and...and you made me laugh. You were funny, and weird, and...and you liked GREEN LANTERN and singing songs from musicals and you didn't have to be so nice to me. But...I'm glad you did. And I wish...I wish your culture hadn't been what it was, cuz...we probably would have been great friends. And I know you loved Earth. Almost as much as me, and..."

He could feel his eyes burning, and he covered his face, the shuddering, quaking sobs beginning to rise.

"I just...I'm just SORRY. I'm just so, so sorry all this happened. And wherever you are, I...I just hope you're happy."

With that, he wiped his nose upon his sleeve, Gaz gently raising a hand. She hesitated a bit, then patted his shoulder briefly before Dib began filling up the graves, Gaz looking back at the city, back at the Tallest's palace. Her singular onyx eye seemed to narrow slightly at it before she walked back over to it, laying Zim down. "Go on, Zim. I'm not gonna help you grow back to normal. You can figure that out for yourself. Go enjoy being the only Irken left on the planet."

Zim giggled a bit, and gave Gaz a little bow. "Always a pleasure, little Gaz!" He remarked with a chuckle, heading off for the blown-open doorway to the Tallest's palace. Changing his size could wait. First thing's first. The supply of ROYAL PUDDING CUPS that laid within.

Gaz, meanwhile, smugly smiled, glancing from the palace...to what laid sliiightly below it. Something she remembered Senior speaking about earlier. It brought quite the smirk to her face as she turned back to Dib, heading over to her brother. "Come on. Let's fix up one of the escape pods on the Massive's wreck. Get it working...and go home."

"Yeah." Dib softly muttered. "...dad's probably waiting."

...

...

...

... "You're probably wondering why I didn't tell you about what we wanted to do. No doubt you might have felt that it was a bit too harsh, or...perhaps...maybe you'd want to help us kill ourselves off." Trik's voice rang through his room as Faith watched alone in his office, Professor Membrane having swept his son and his daughter into his arms. They were walking together down the sidewalk, Membrane holding them tightly to him, as if he never, ever wanted to let go ever again. "Truth is, I sort of wanted to, but...well, we were worried the news would leak to less UNDERSTANDING Irkens if we did. Not on purpose. But it was better to be safe than sorry. I'm sure though it all worked out in the end."

Faith quietly tugged at her soft black hair, slightly pulling some locks down, chewing on her lip a bit as she stared at the screen, and Trik's blue, cheery eyes.

"When I was first activated, I was given access to all Irken knowledge. The knowledge filled me. It was neat. But...I wasn't able to do what I wanted. You see how I'm dressed now?" He gestured at himself in the video. "Scientists had to wear shirts under their labcoats. And they always had to be buttoned up. And always wearing goggles over their eyes. And with these ugly, foul, thick boots and gloves. We couldn't be individuals. We couldn't be ourselves. And all I could think is "...why not?" And it got worse."

He shook his head back and forth. "The more I analyzed the Tallest, the more I realized that every bad defect they claimed was wrong they in some way exemplified. In greed or gluttony or sloth. They were hypocrites, but nobody ever wanted to object. And hardly any good ideas or societies or cultures ever survive if you're not allowed to **question** things once in a while. Our culture was so static. But yours? You had so many cultures. And that was so fascianting to me. And you...you were so fascinating."

He warmly smiled back at Faith. "I had...well...faith, I guess you could say...that you could do wonderful work if you just were given the opportunity. Not a hand-out...just a hand. If you had a more equal starting line, you could be even BETTER than others your age in those fancy colleges you wanted to attend. I saw a lot of myself in you. You could do wonders if you just had the right tools, and someone who cared enough to give them to you. So...get out there. Do great things. And if you ever feel bad, I want to show you a little something that will always cheer you up."

With that, he reached into his labcoat pocket, pulling out a piece of paper and unfurling it, smiling cheesily as Faith read it, some tears springing to her eyes, a smile upon her lips.

"You Inspired Me".

Many, many years would pass. Professor Membrane would get his own personal hoverchair, floating about the large mansion that was now the Membrane home. The "Membrane Mansion" was almost something of a tourist destination, people eager to get a look at the home of the saviors of the human race. With the advancements left behind by Irken tech, and the remnants of what they'd done lingering, great wonders had been given to Earth. A bit of growth ray work and food shortages became a thing of the past. Big, gigantic meals could be easily served to starving children all around the world. The nanogene work Jayd had left behind in the laboratory was something Dib poured over for many months before, at last, he'd finally gotten perfect duplicates of what the medic had once used.

It had been an honor indeed to finish curing the last remnants of Earth diseases. There still wasn't much crime anymore, because being in prison now meant being shrunk. And since so many of the prison population had very much not LIKED being shrunken down and swallowed up and didn't want another repeat with beings that could, if they wanted, just digest them away...nobody really wanted to risk being caught.

Besides, with the interstellar economy now open to Earth, this meant brand new markets, brand new places to visit! Brand new jobs and customers who were VERY eager to get hold of Earthen things. And quite a few humans had wanted to get hold of Vortian things. Humans seemed to really like the Vortian race, they were far more personable and likable than the Irkens had been. Gaz insisted that this was because Vortians were more pettable.

This was true. Vort skin was verrrry soft, their skin actually a type of hair, teeny, tiny hair, that faintly felt like kitten's hair if you touched it. And if you scratched them juuust right at the perfect spot by their horns, it made them almost purr. It was not only a musical noise, but a FRIENDLY noise. Dib had learned this spending a lot of time with Lard Nar, working out trade deals.

And May...May and her kids had shown up.

Dib had understood why she didn't tell him where the Irken colonies were. NOBODY knew. And he doubted he'd ever see any Irkens ever again. But May had said they were happy...and Skoodge was doing well. That he and many another Irken who had juuuust the right stuff to be good mentors had their work cut out for them and that perhaps, in a few centuries or so, Irkens might be ready to come back into the galactic community. Skoodge had even asked May to give Dib something...

A little, tiny icy globe of Earth, a tiny little Dib sitting on it, with the inscription "Thinking of You" on it.

This made Dib smile.

Gretchen and he were settling down in the living room, Dib finishing telling up his children about the days when the Irken race had first arrived as Gretchen rested her head upon his shoulder, chuckling a bit as his kids looked from the tv screen to him. The floating television screen was showing the anime version of his dramatic tale he'd told to the United Nations council upon his return to Earth a few days after. EVERYONE had wanted to know all the details, and the story was so good, it'd gotten multiple adaptations.

"Did they really have gigantic mechs? C'mon, really? No WAY they turned into that!" His son Matty said, shaking his head back and forth, having his dad's black hair, but slicked back more, without the little scythe and, instead, that bit of hair flopped down over his forehead, the only part of his hair that WASN'T brushed back. He had nice freckles, and an even nicer smile. Though his sister Lena had a pretty broad one too.

"Oh, they had them." Dib chuckled. "Trust me, they had them. They're taking SOME liberties with how they looked." No way in Hell would he ever tell his kids what the ships had transformed into. Heck, he wasn't gonna tell his daughter Lena or his other daughter Mayberry they had vaginas! Not until they were teenagers!

"Whatever happened to Zim, though?" his eldest son asked. His eldest...whom he had named Nick, who had his mother's slightly frazzled hair and his father's need for glasses. "The anime just sorta...leaves him on Irk? Was that it?"

Dib began to laugh.

...

...

...

..Skoodge, meanwhile, was looking out over the valley at Colony Alpha, as the wind softly blew through his antannae. He was lying underneath his "thinking tree", which overlooked the valley atop an enormous hill, the pink skies of the planet stretching wide as yellow clouds ambled by overhead, slightly passing beneath a blue sun. Skoodge looked at the many huts and homemade buildings, crafted from natural resources of the planet, a smile on his features as he beheld the wide amount of sugar cane that was being so well tended to, the huge, rolling fields stretching out almost for miles. The smell was wafting up from the valley, and butterflies were making their migration down over the fields like they always did.

Normally he'd go down to show off the many species of butterflies to his cooking class on their field trip to the sugar cane fields. But not today. Today was a holiday, a special day, a day of remembrance of those who came before. Every Irken child was taught of the good and the bad that had led them to where they were, and today was the day they reflected on it all. But above all, it was, for Skoodge...mail day. Mail from May...dearest May.

...mail from Dib.

"Autumn in New England." He whispered, looking at the golden leaf Dib had sent him, personally made by dipping a leaf in liquid gold and cooling it off. He turned the leaf over in his hands, softly smiling, as he remembered long nights carving ice sculptures in the basement of Zim's house. He remembered giving Tenn big, secret smiles. He remembered Dib's unique, sweet taste, and the bellies full of adorable little humans. He remembered Senior's warm hand on his shoulder, and that big, tender smile, and above all...

He remembered Earth. He hoped Earth was doing well. And more importantly...doing some real GOOD. He was glad Senior had picked him to help mold the next generation into something good. And sometimes, briefly, he thought he could feel Senior and Darth and everyone's hand on his shoulder again, and for a brief moment, he'd sometimes turn around and they'd be there, a smile on their face, as if they'd never left.

And in a way, he knew they hadn't. Because he saw them in the faces of the new Irkens born free. Free to choose a better path. And he hoped they'd choose well.

Yet as he thought of Earth, and of Dib, he too, like Dib...also thought of Zim.

...what WAS Zim up to?

...

...

...

..."Ahhhh." Zim smiled in delight, rubbing over his big, fat, engorged belly. Being so small wasn't SO bad. An entire pudding cup was enough to stuff him up. And he now laid upon the private kitchen table within the Tallest's palace, the cupboard having been busted open from the damage done during the awful battle not too far away. Some pieces of ceiling had fallen to the floor, sure...and the floor was cracked, and the walls had chunks missing from it and, yes, true, the door had fallen off its steely hinges...

But Zim didn't care. He was stuffed full of pudding, and he had an entire palace to enjoy all to himself. Zim. The last Irken of Irk. It had such a nice ring to it. He let out a happy, proud BRAAAP of a belch, grinning his zipper-toothed grin. He'd go take a nap and digest all this pudding, relaxing in the fancy suite. Maybe get into the toffees and the-

"Well. Well. Well."

Zim felt a shard of ice dig into him as he slowly looked over at a busted open section of the wall, suddenly realizing something. The sugar mines of Irk. They were right below the capital.

...below the palace.

...Gaz hadn't been lying when she'd said he'd been the last ON Irk. But WITHIN Irk, there were still two certain Irkens who'd had to work out of sight and out of mind to avoid being executed by homophobic, infuriated control brains. Red and Purple were THWACK-ing their pickaxes into their palms, their eyes burning darkly and balefully as evil smiles danced on their faces.

"While you were stuffing your face, we took a peek outside once we reached the surface. Ms. Gazlene Membrane was VERY KIND to us."

"Told us everyone else was gone. All killed off. Except for you, who was pigging out on pudding in the kitchen."

"And she said we'd probably have about, oh...four minutes to grab some pickaxes before you'd finished with the pudding cup. Well, she was right. Right down to the second."

"...that JERK." Zim squeaked out as he felt sweat beads breaking out on his face as he nervously began to take a step back on the kitchen table. "Y-Y'know, th-there's...plenty of pudding for all of us..."

"I'm thinking we roast you slowly on a spit and eat you for dinner. Maybe with whatever wine we can find left over in the ruins of our palace?" Red remarked to Purple.

"And then we can have some nice, tender emotional sex, talk about our feelings, and then go shirt shopping." Purple added cheerily with a devilish grin as he twirled his pickaxe. "I'm sure SOME of the stores survived all those ships crashing into the capital."

"I'm so happy we got married." Red remarked. "Dibs on his ass cheeks. He always had a VERY nice ass. Just remember to make sure you aim for his LEGS when you swing that thing."

"Oh, really? I've a nice ass?" Zim commented with a grin. "Wow, thanks, I always knew-HEY, WAIT A MINUTE-AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! HAVE MERCY! HAVE MERCYYYY!"

"STAND STILL, YOU LITTLE SQUIRT!"

"How can something so FAT move so fast!"

"AAA! WHY MUST THIS BEEEEEE?!"

 **Author's Note:**

 **Well! This story's been a hell of a lot of fun to write. I went on quite the ride. But it's not quite over yet. I'm gonna use the next chapter after this "true" ending to explore some ways the story COULD have gone, some alternate possibilities. Leave a note on what you'd be interested in seeing, and it just might end up in the "Extras" chapter! And by all means, don't be afraid to leave a review.**


	13. Just This Once, Everybody Lives

**Author's Note:**

 **This is the way the story COULD have gone. An alternate ending, beginning from when the new PAKs are developed, crafted for all of you to enjoy. If you like it, or want to perhaps see a different take, by all means, let me know in a review. I really do love hearing feedback.**

"Right. Okay. Here goes..." Faith said nervously, taking hold of Trik's PAK. "Brace yourself!"

"Ha, I can handle any-YOOOOOOOOW that stings!" His eyes bulged out, cringing as he slightly quivered on his somewhat slender knees, shuddering a bit as Faith removed his old PAK, and then put the new one up to his skin. Much to her and Professor Membrane's shock, not only did it attach perfectly, as if with glue, not with the odd metal, claw-like tentacles the old PAK had...it sank into his back. It was like it was being absorbed by the body! Trik rose up, dusting himself off, and looked about.

"So, um...f-feel any different?" Faith inquired quietly. "Any tingling? Or other side effects?"

"I feel perfectly optimal, truthfully." Trik said, feeling over his bare chest, the labcoat opened up to show off his slender frame. "Very lovely work, Faith! Your work on the synpatical modulator for the PAK was excellent. And Professor Membrane, I've never seen such talented stitch-work for the wiring." He offered, giving a deep bow of his head to both of them before taking Faith's hands. "Do you know what this means? No more of those awful bullseyes on children's backs. Our smeets will be far safer and more free than ever before." He insisted, eyes wide, speaking like a kid at Christmas who was trying to explain why his new gaming system was so amazing. "It's a game changer, Faith! It'll be like a new step in evolution...if evolution worked that way." He sighed. "A shame it doesn't. Kind of hurts my ability to enjoy those excellent X-Men movies of our race." He admitted, going over to the balcony. "Listen, there's just one more thing I'd like you to do beyond shipping the new models to Senior so he can make sure they're distributed properly."

"What's that?"

"...I'd like you to have all of my laboratory tech. I want you to do incredible things with it." Trik offered, turning around to look at Faith. "When I first met you, I knew you could be amazing if you were just given the right tools, and you've proved me right. I'm sure you'll keep proving me right. Just...don't make the mistakes I made. Don't ever settle for so long. Try to make a difference sooner."

Faith stared at him, confused. "Wait, why are you leaving me your stuff? Don't YOU need it?"

"No." Trik said softly as he looked out over the balcony. His blue eyes softened as he gazed out over the expanse of the city, a smile dancing on his lips. "…I won't be needing any of it anymore. With the adjustments that we'll soon be making to your world and to our own, we'll be self-sufficient. Thank you again, for all of our incredible work." He said, looking back at Prof. Membrane and Faith. "Come on out to the balcony with me."

He tapped the edge of it, the two walking towards it, standing next to him as the square-antannae-having Irken tilted his head a bit to the side. "You know, our sky is orange. It's not blue. Orange and blue are such lovely contrasts. And your species fits that. Most of your race's skin tones fall between pale peach and dark, dark brown, that's squarely in the orange segment of the color wheel. And blue? Blue's on the opposite end. Nature itself loves a contrast so much…and evidently, so do your filmmakers. You adore using blue and orange!"

"Well, blue is a nice color."

"It is a very calming color." Prof. Membrane confessed. With that, he took off his goggles, Trik looking at his irises, his own eyes widening a bit.

A beautiful Robin's egg blue. One of the loveliest shades he'd ever seen.

"You should take those off more often." Faith admitted, her mouth slightly agape, taking in the soft texture of the professor's eyes. "They look so lovely! Why do you always cover your face with those goggles?"

"Well, wearing them makes it easier for me to give off an aura of authority. Being "faceless" will do that." Professor Membrane admitted as he put the goggles back on. "And, well…they also allow me to see through objects. Truth be told, my first pair existed just to show people in their underwear, when I was about your age." He confessed, as Trik chuckled a bit.

"Truth be told?...mine used to do the same."

...

...

...

... "What're THESE?" Dib asked in horror, looking down at his feet, seeing something that hadn't been there before, that he hadn't noticed at first admist all the horror he'd endured. He had what looked like a little metallic chip that had been embedded within his foot, a dark steely and silver color, faintly blinking with a yellowish crystal "eye" in the center, the odd chip about the size of his thumb. He, like all the rest of the captured humans in this depraved underground facility, were now currently in little cages, a bit of food and water set down for them to eat.

"Tracking chips." said a voice he recognized as he looked up, seeing Maht the service drone there, his deep indigo/purple eyes gazing at Dib as he slid in some more food into Dib's bowl. "There might be a few Irkens who'd feel bad about what they do to you all down here...or who might want to bring proof of your abuse to Senior. So to make sure nobody leaves with any humans...at least, not alive...they put those chips in. You're scanned at all exits and entrances to this club, this way people can know nobody's smuggling humans out." The drone confessed.

"That's clever of them..." Dib grunted. "And I take if if I try to cut the thing out, it'll explode or something?"

"If it senses you trying to slice it out, it administers electrical shocks that will render you unconscious. And well...if you just tried to cut your leg off you wouldn't get far." Maht shook his head. "Your species don't have mechanical spider legs built into the fancy metal backpacks you wear on your back, I'm afraid."

"You know this is wrong." Dib insisted. "You talked about how much Senior inspired all of you. He'd NEVER be okay with this."

"...I want to keep as many people happy as I can. It's part of who I am. And sometimes that means ignoring other people's happiness for the sake of the majority. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind, NEED to be harsh to be fair. It's all about the greater good." Maht reasoned. "...it does bother me seeing you like this, but...the only real kindness I could offer you would be to end it forever." He murmured, and he opened up the cage then, Dib being caught off guard.

"EEEP!" Dib squealed out, Maht plucking him up in his black-gloved hands, gazing down at him, resting one of his claws on Dib's throat very, very carefully.

"I could snap your neck, Dib...or crush your chest. It'd be over in an instant, the CHIP would shut down with your death. Or...I could swallow you, end you within my gut. We who're part of this club have had our PAKs adjusted even more so, if we wanted, we can now digest you. It wouldn't have to hurt...it'd be like sinking into a warm bath forever." Maht softly offered. "Dying doesn't have to be cruel. It doesn't have to be merciless. It can be kind. Compassionate. It might be better this way, no more suffering at the hands of Tak and the others."

Dib's body shook a bit, a mixture of fear, anger and terror, and he felt hot, bitter tears spring to his eyes as he looked away, Maht gently stroking over his chest with a single claw.

"I don't want you suffering like this. I don't. But there's not much I can do beyond my offer beyond trying to make you a bit comfortable here. You belong to us now. I'm sorry it has to be this way. Sorry you had to be caught up in what Tak is doing." Maht offered. "Really, I am." With that, he gently placed Dib back in the cage, and onto the blankets that was his bed. "Get some sleep, Dib. You'll need it. And...think about my offer. Because the only way you'll escape from this place is if you were dead." He added. "Remember that."

With that, he closed the cage, leaving Dib alone with the other humans in their own cages and cells in the "Prison Room" of the underground club, leaving Dib with the prisoners...and his own horrible thoughts. He had to get out. So he couldn't cut his leg off. He didn't exactly have the tools for that. No knives for his meal. No sharp anything. And he couldn't get far on one foot anyhow. He couldn't dig the chip out. The only way to rid himself of this CHIP would be if he was dead.

...if he was dead...

...an idea was beginning to form. A crazy idea. But it was all he had to go on. He just had to wait for an opportunity to get what he wanted. And it would involve a lot of electricity. An "out of body experience". He let out a call. "MAHT?"

The door opened a few moments later, Maht entering the room, closing the door. "You make up your mind swiftly. That's good. It shows a keen intellect!"

"I've got a request." Dib said. "I want you to end my life in a specific way."

"Just…don't ask me to…really hurt you. I don't want that." Maht added as he looked shamefully down at the floor. "I don't even want to be out there, seeing those shameful excuses for Irkens sucking on humans like lollipops, seeing the blood, hearing the screaming. I couldn't ever be a medic like Jayd, or out on the front lines, fighting, the way Dite or Tak or Wiyn could be. I HATE violence. Hate blood and guts and pain and agony, I…I want to help people without seeing the hurt. I imagine you must think I'm…what's the Earth phrase? A pussy?"

"No, I get it." Dib said with a shake of his head. "You're pretty gentle. And what I want you to do wouldn't make me gush blood all over you. I'd like you to electrocute me."

Maht's eyes widened. "…ahhh. You figured it out." He whispered softly. "You've overcome that particular barrier. Excellent, Dib. You really are keen. I'm guessing you want it done at…say…500 volts at just above 10 milliamps?"

Dib nodded, as a single PAK leg extended, and Maht held out his gloved hand for Dib to climb onto. Maht slid the PAK leg forward, easing towards Dib as it sparked with bluish/white electricity, holding out a small growth/shrink ray from his pocket as he chucked at Dib.

"I'll unshrink you later. You know what to do when you're freed. Go to Senior. Tell him where we are. And above all, hurry."

With that, the sparkling PAK leg touched Dib, electricity flowing freely as all went black.

It wasn't long before Dib was awake again, feeling a zephyrous breeze on his face, realizing he was outside once more, not far from the Massive at that, and he smelled BAAAAD. He realized Maht had vomited his tiny frame up, the purple-eyed Irken cringing a bit, his front shirt soaked as he steadied himself against a light fixture.

"Go ah-ahead…UUUGGH…" he gripped his stomach with one gloved hand, moaning. "B-Better hurry. Unshrink y-yourself…OGGGH. Go find S-Senior. I'll g-go back to the facility. T-Try and keep everyone there. Stall fo-for time. Don't k-know if it'll w-work, but…it's the best plan we've got-OOOGGHH." He held his hand over his mouth again. "Invoked my g-gag relex too much!"

Dib chuckled a bit, moving over to the shrink/growth ray, turning the mode on the side to fire ahead for a brief moment, activating it's "timer" function. Within a few seconds, he'd returned to his proper, normal size. "There we go!" He said with a grin, racing off to the Massive, poor Maht vomiting into the nearby bushes before he took off running for the facility.

Meanwhile, Skoodge was looking down at his communicator, having finished a conversation with Senior. Skoodge quietly sat down in his house, looking at the beautiful ice artwork that laid all around him. The soft hum of the heavy duty cooler provided a steady drumbeat of white noise as he closed his eyes, hanging his slightly squat head as Senior's voice spoke up.

"It's time." He murmured. "You'd best go take one of the ships we designated for the trip and head to the colony. Darth just informed me that he asked Peech and Feyr to begin moving the smeets and our caretakers for all of them off-planet."

"Good, good. How long until everyone's been moved off?"

"Maybe about...three days? GIR and Minimoose adore the kids. They've been spending a lot of time with them, being babysitters comes natural."

"Good. Good to hear. Um...Skoodge, I'm...I'm not going to see you again. You know where I'll be from now on." Senior muttered out, and unbeknownst to Skoodge, Senior was lying, slumped against the wall on the bridge. The Massive's bridge was abandoned, save for him, all the others very, VERY busy with their own important duties, some normal, others nefarious. Senior had the communicator gripped in one hand, holding it to his chest, his head bowed low as the other gloved hand dug into the floor. "The new generation is going to need people like you. People for whom it…it isn't too late. I'm glad I got to know someone so special."

Silence. Quiet, somber silence as Skoodge's hands slightly quivered as he held the communicator. "I should be thanking you." Skoodge managed to get out. "You made me feel special. Nobody else really did." He muttered. "You're one of the nicest people I've ever known."

"I'm going to call May up. We don't have a lot of time before we start this all up. Skoodge, seriously, take care of yourself. And keep making sculptures. You're really, really good." Senior admitted.

"...bye." Skoodge said, as he ended the call, knowing it would be the last time he ever heard Senior's voice. Sighing a bit, he turned, Zim staring, in confusion, locked in his tiny little prison capsule ball.

"What was THAT about?" Zim demanded as Skoodge sighed a bit and plucked him up, then brought the ball up, up, out of the basement and into the living room, biting his lip as he looked back down at Zim.

"Would you like me to bring you to Irk, Zim? I'm going to give you one chance. I'll let you join me on my trip back to Irk, and in exchange...I'll unshrink you. Give you back your normal size. Sound fair?"

Zim's grinned, rubbing his hands together. "Yes! Return Zim to his normal, glorious size! Perhaps with a few added inches?"

"Nope."

"C'monnn!" Zim begged, tugging down on his antannae. "Give me just a LITTLE something! At least make me taller than Dib! Finding out he's taller than I was is driving me insane with rage! And DESPITE all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage-" He smacked his face. "Oh, FLIRK, the filthy humans have infected me after all, now I'M singing their songs! UGH. Victory for Earth indeed!"

"It's a "good infection"." Skoodge insisted with a chuckle. "It's not a bad thing, culture. Art. All these little things humans do for fun. People can get a lot of satisfaction from it. I mean, I sure did."

"Alright. Give Zim a canvas and some brushes and paint then." Zim requested. "What I shall paint will be glorious!"

…

…

…

…Peech gently wrapped Dib in a blanket, easing him onto the bed. Senior had been told everything, and he was mobilizing all he could to deal with the threat Tak now posed. He'd had to put off meeting with the rest of the intergalactic ruling body, which had been a let down for Senior. The green-eyed communications officer had confessed to Dib that he'd been wanting to sign over the last of the bases on Vort and other planets over to their proper owners, and to begin giving proper "restitution" to those the Irken race had ravaged.

Instead, he had stormed over to the underground facility as fast as he could with Dite and Xeil, hoping not too many in the military had gone over to Tak. Using Dib's information and following Maht's trail of dropped M&M and candy bar crumbs and puke droplets from his meal, they'd managed to break in and had caught the tail end of the party as it wound down. The bad news was that Tak, Wiyn and even Darth had managed to get away. Evidently, they'd left the party a bit earlier.

Senior was clearly very upset. He had looked pale with fury as he walked past Dib, heading back to his own office, Dib seeing a furious glint in his eyes he'd not often seen. There'd been far, FAR too many people hanging around the facility. Not even rescuing the humans within had cheered Senior up.

Gaz sat next to Dib, giving him a somewhat sympathetic look, and she gently raised a hand, hesitated...then put it on his shoulder. "You're gonna be okay. You're real strong." She said, letting go a few seconds later as Peech gave Dib some hot chocolate, Dib muttering out a "thanks" to both of them, his eyes looking sunken and hollow as Peech sat on the other end of Dib. As she sat down, Dib and Gaz noticed something very odd about the backpack/jetpack she wore, the big, slightly clumsy, dark orange thing was jingling, evidently full to the brim of...SOMETHING.

"What's in there?" Dib wanted to know, Peech blushing and actually opening up the top, showing off the interior. It was loaded to the brim with small jewelry, little wristbands made of strange gemstones, necklaces, rings, other jewels, studded clothing! Shiny things up the wazoo. "See, I'm a kleptomaniac." She admitted. "And being on Earth means a whole lot of real nice, shiny things for me to snatch." She sighed a bit, slightly scratching at her knees after putting them away in her PAK again. "Irk doesn't have art. You remember that, right?"

Dib and Gaz nodded as Peech sighed again. "All of us on the Massive were...well, at least, us on the bridge, we were SO psyched with Senior let us come to Earth. Maht loved the food, Xeil and Dite loved all your movies and your books, Jayd couldn't get enough of your species's superheroes, Feyr and Darth were fascinated by your philosophies and religions, and I...I loved all the beautiful art you made. All the glittering, shiny art." She then reached into a shirt pocket, the orange-eyed guard taking out something different.

...a small little diamond-studded cross.

"Senior got this for me. And I sucked at shooting stuff. At field exercises. So no way, no WAY was I gonna get a medal for anything. Worst aim in the world. A terrible soldier. Rotten at fighting. And then one day our communications officer, our boss right below our bosses, our "safety net" as he liked to call himself, starts going on and on about how he's been looking into Earth, and all the nice things IT has and how Irk had stuff like it so long ago but didn't anymore. And of course, well..."

Peech got a distant, far off look in her eye, and her tone lost some of the sandiness it had. "We wanted to know about it. "C'mon." I said. "It can't be that good. Not if ZIM'S on it. If it was that good, we woulda tried to send people to take it over ages ago!" And then he says he got everyone some gifts. And he gives me this." She held the cross up. "...and all I could think was...nobody had ever gotten me anything. Nobody ever gave me ANYTHING AT ALL. I never so much as earned a "thank you". I was a stupid door guard. Nobody thanks you for doing your job. And here this big, green-eyed goof was, giving me something he said was worth fifteen times my paycheck for the month. Just because he knew I liked shiny, sparky stuff. And he said if I felt bad, I should rub it a bit, and think of the things I love, and it'd help."

Peech smiled wistfully, and stroked over it with one hand, sighing. "And it worked. If I got really depressed or tired just standing around and guarding the door to the bridge, I'd just stroke over it in my pocket, and I felt better, because...because it meant someone cared enough about me to get me this. And he didn't..." She stammered. "What meant...what meant a lot was...he didn't HAVE to. I mean...I was a stupid DOOR GUARD. We're almost just taking up space. Nobody ever really busts their way up to the bridge. We've never drawn our guns once. We didn't deserve nice stuff from people. But HE did. Red and Purple didn't, but he did. Because Senior's cool like that."

She smiled wistfully, stroking over the little cross. "He's so dorky sometimes, but…he can be pretty cool...for a guy who likes Christmas tunes like "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reinder" unironically." She confessed, Dib chuckling a bit as Peech smiled back at him. "It's too bad Tak can't appreciate Earth. We thought maybe she'd seen the light but…guess not. So Senior's calling her out to Irk. Making a stand there, and she's waaaay too proud to not accept."

"Tak knows its probably a trap." Dib mumbled out. "...you really think she'll fall into it?"

"Senior's promised there'd be no traps. He doesn't intend to trick her and she knows he's...too nice and righteous to lie about that. It's just gonna be two forces clashing for control of our race, right at the palace of the Tallest on Irk." Peech admitted. "But you two should stay here, with your father. Trik and Feyr can bring him over if you'd like. Trik's got nothing to do now that the PAKs have been fully upgraded!"

"Wow, it's all finished?" Dib asked as Peech nodded.

"Yep. Everything's in place. We're all pretty psyched. Being freed from the PAKs…really free to choose our own way, that's what I've wanted for so long." She admitted, leaving the room to Dib and Gaz as they looked at each other.

"We still going through with the big plan?" Gaz quietly asked.

Dib hesitated. He thought of how Maht had helped him, about how HUMAN Peech was. About Senior's dorky, goofy grin.

"…I…g-guess so." He admitted.

"Yeah, I know. It's gonna suck. But…nice as they are, I want Earth to be ours, not theirs. Don't you?"

"Yeah." Dib sighed as his father entered the room, and for the first time in a long time, held Dib in his arms.

…

…

…

…Dib hadn't seen THIS coming. He'd expected Senior to hand over the keys to the last remaining Irken facilies on all those formerly-conquered planets. He'd forseen Senior leaving Purple and Red unharmed and alive, just currently in some sugar mines below the capital. He'd even had an inkling that, deep down, Darth truly HAD been on their side all along, and hadn't been fully on board with Tak's ways, so even him stabbing her was more startling than shocking.

But this? THIS? Seeing the Massive's crew unharmed, not affected by the rain the way the other Irkens were? The way the Control Brains were? His mouth was agape, staring in shock as Senior chuckled, and Zim looked from him to Dib, then Gaz.

"Wait. Wait a moment! You…you wanted the humans to do this, didn't you?!" He realized, his eyes bulging as he got a good look at Senior's frame. "You've been bathing in paste! You KNEW they would call down rain!"

"Yes. Dib, I wanted you and your friends and family to do this." Senior said, shaking Dib's hand as the camera caught everything. "I learned very early that people unite easily when they're against a common enemy. I decided...I'd make myself that enemy for your people. And give you all the resources you'd need to find out a way to kick us off not only your world...but even our own."

"Well, not just you." Jayd confessed. "Faith and your father and others. We had them brought together, the best minds for the job. Peech and Feyr are probably explaining it all to them even now."

"So we let you have access to all the technology we had to offer." Peech informed Professor Membrane AS Feyr sat calmly nearby, sipping on some soda. "We gave you everything you'd want to hurt us."

"We figured what you were up to when you asked for those atmospheric readings of Irk. We kinda kept a camera in your room. We saw you'd hidden the readouts of Earth and Irk's atmosphere in that vitamin jar." Xeil admitted. "Or rather, Peech did. She'd been following you around for a while, keeping an eye on you when you were working with the other humans."

"And we let Gaz make the adjustments to the fleet because we had a damn good idea of what she wanted to do. We checked the diagrams and readouts of the ships after the upgrades to be sure, of course and, sure enough! You'd deliberately sabotaged the fleet...AND the Massive. Real nice work!" Dite added. "But we didn't tell Tak about it. We were going to, but...well, she decided that she wasn't a team player."

"I'd been trying to keep an eye on her. I thought the more time I spent with her, getting her to open up, trying to show her how there'd be a better way would work." Darth intoned softly, hanging his head. "...it didn't. Maybe it's better this way."

"You...wanted us to kill you?" Dib finally managed to say, clutching at his head. Suddenly it all made sense. Why Senior let Dib and Gaz and all those humans have so much power and free reign. The way he'd talked about how different he was from other Irken leaders. Placing the lives of humans over his own race time and time again.

"We decided we would be the change the Irken race needed. It's difficult though, because so much of the OLD ways are still in us, so…it's best that we'll never see you again." Senior murmured. "We won't be going to the colonies with the kids. We'll be wherever the winds take us."

"I'll just be glad my kids won't grow up in a world that will hate them for wanting to hold hands in public when they're the same gender." Xeil insisted.

"Our next generation won't be pressured or forced into killing things in training exercises the very month they're born." Dite added.

"And they'll be raised lightyears and lightyears away on colonies we didn't tell anybody about, and without PAKs that will force them to think what some Empire wants. With time, people will hopefully forgive all the monstrous things our race did. They'll see we've been punished. But it will take time. A lot of time." Jayd confessed.

"Skoodge'll be a great nanny." Darth laughed. "He's got the Santa Claus laugh down pat and everything. And he and all the others we picked will teach the Irkens that remain to be better than we ever were. Free of any other influence. The way it ought to be."

"Lard Nar knows, doesn't he? And...so does your wife? Your family?" Dib asked, Senior nodding in agreement. "They were okay with this?"

"Absolutely."

"I…" Dib hesitated, biting his lip. "I don't know what to say."

"You are going to be an INCREDIBLE person." Senior insisted. "Hell, you already are. Australia proved that. You proved without a doubt that I chose well. You showed integrity and strength and skill and courage, showed your race at its best. And I admit, I was scared, Dib. I really though you were going to die there, I had NO idea what would happen."

"Yeah, we didn't plan for what went on down there. And we didn't plan on what Tak and those other Irkens were doing to you. You escaping from the club she'd set up showed us how clever and keen you were." Maht added with a wink. "We're leaving this world in really good hands."

"Thanks." Dib admitted quietly, Senior giving him one last, big, huge hug, patting his back. "You know, despite all that happened, I…" He gently hugged Senior back. He was so warm…so soft. "I actually kind of had a good time with you."

"Yeah." Senior said, letting Dib go, he and the rest of the Massive crew heading off for the ship. "Take care, Dib. Take good care of them. And…maybe one day, I'll get to see you again. For now…we got a long journey to make and a ship to fix. And well, you do too…but we knew you'd wanna go home, so we left a clean, untouched ship for you with Red and Purple. And we locked it with a passcode. They're in the mines right below the capital. You can take Zim with you. It has to respond to his voice."

Zim grinned eagerly, laughing in delight as Dib moaned, hanging his head as they brought the capsule he was in back into the capital, Red and Purple standing in the opened-up wall by the kitchen, currently slurping up some pudding.

"So evidently, the ship we wanted to use to leave won't open for any voice but Zim's." Red grumbled darkly as he looked at Zim with baleful crimson eyes, Purple "harrumphing" as Dib and Gaz nodded, Zim grinning toothily. "Darn it, Trivvik! Can't believe you can program a ship to do that."

"It'll be a tight fit anyway, with all five of us." Purple muttered. "It's just a fairly modified Voot Cruiser."

"So. You need ZIM to leave. Well. Zim's not going to help you leave unless you give Zim what he wants."

"We could just let them eat you." Gaz offered dryly. "I think you screaming would count as your voice."

"HA! Zim wouldn't scream. Zim has gained much through therapy, including working out his fear not only of being eaten alive, but of the bees." The tiny invader proclaimed, pointing dramatically into the air. "I am no longer fearful of such a fate! So you shall give Zim what he wants! And Zim wants a planet of his own to conquer!"

Dib sighed, putting the capsule that held Zim in his pocket, turning to Red and Purple. "He's not gonna agree if we don't give him what he wants."

"Okay, how do we do this, then?" Red muttered. "I don't want to give him a GOOD planet!"

"I actually have an idea." Dib offered, whispering into Red and Purple's "ears"…or lack thereof as their eyes widened.

One space trip later, they were hovering on the edge of Venus, Dib nonchalantly turning to Red and Purple as they sat together on the same chair, Red on Purple's lap as Gaz calmly piloted the ship away from Venus and back to Earth. "So where do you want us to drop you off?"

"Just put us in Japan." Red insisted. "Purple and I can enjoy a nice, quiet life in the country's forests and never, EVER have to put up with any humans or Irkens ever again."

"I almost felt BAD for him, watching him swagger off into the expanse in that fancy new armor suit. How long before Zim realizes that Venus is uninhabited, d'ya think?" Purple inquired as Dib began to snigger.

"Oh…three days, at most."

"I give him two." Red sniggered as Gaz grunted a bit.

"I'lll say…29 hours after he plants his little flag. He's gotten a LITTLE smarter." She reasoned. "And you better hope no human DOES ever see you in the Japanese woods, they won't be so kind to you two. Especially without disguises."

"Oh, we've got disguises." Red said as he and Purple pulled out some eye contacts and a few wigs from the little bag of supplies they had with them. "We'll be fine. If it worked for Zim for so long, it'll work for us! Besides, we're WAAAY better actors than he was."

Gaz darkly grinned as they finally approached Earth, touching down in Japan. The skies were a beautiful lovely shade of blue, soft little puffy clouds ambling by overhead as they descended into a sea of trees, landing quite a while away to the Northwest of the majestic Mount Fuji. A hearty wind blew through the air as Red and Purple put their disguises on, exiting the craft. "Finally, rid of Zim and we never have to be around you humans if we don't want to." Red proclaimed as he and Purple looked around the deep expanse of forest.

"You SURE you wanna be here and not, say…someplace like the Alps?"

"Oh, I don't like skiing." Purple said with a shake of his hand. "Not a big fan of high mountains. No, we'll be fine, I assure you. Any reason why you picked these forests, though?" He asked Gaz as she shrugged.

"Well, its not too far from Mount Fuji. If you DO change your mind and decide to go for some help from a tourist trap, well…it's about 12 miles that way. Good luck." She said, pointing in the direction of the mountain before waving goodbye along with Dib, who waited about five minutes before asking the question that had been burning in the back of his mind.

"You KNOW this place is "Aokigahara", right? It's the big "Suicide Forest" of Japan, don't a lot of people go here?"

"Oh, it's not the HUMANS those two need to worry about." Gaz insisted with a grim smile. "You're not the only one who knows a little something about the supernatural. I did a real nice school project on this place and found out all about the legends behind it." She murmured, Red and Purple going off through the dark recesses of the woods to begin building up a cabin, unaware that bony hands were gripping the bark of many a tree nearby, watching them with dead, unseeing eyes, and grinning toothy grins…excited at the prospect of new "playmates" to have fun with for a long…LOOOONG time.

…

…

…

…it had been a full year since everything had happened. And Dib couldn't help but feel a bit of sadness every time he woke up.

As much as he loved working alongside his Dad now, globe-trotting around the world with him and Gaz, knowing the Earth was safe and just…relaxing for a while? He wasn't quite as satisfied.

Everyone had been very eager to hear the full story from him, and he had done many a press conference. He'd spoken with the leaders of the United Nations, he'd met with President Man…and now as they went around the world, visiting popular tourist destinations while dealing with bouts of famine and drought and disease, all thanks to the tech the Irkens had left behind, Dib could only think…

"As nice as this is…I sort of miss not being held in a gigantic hand."

Because he did sort of miss it all. He missed being in the Massive's cafeteria, missed the cheery faces of the Irkens looking at him, how pleasantly surprised he'd been to find how…colorful and NICE their eyes could be. Yes, the interstellar community was open to Earth now, thanks to Lard Nar. The Vortians were very kind to humans, very open to trade, and they seemed to adore Earth culture and what it had to offer with a passion that Senior could have admired. Plus, their skin? It was actually verrrrry tiny hair that faintly felt like kitten hair if you touched it.

Sometimes Lard Nar let Dib touch it. Sometimes. Juuuust in the right spot by his horns when the Vortian swung by to visit. It wasn't uncommon for the two to run into each other at popular tourist destinations.

Still, Dib did miss Senior. And so he finished texting Gretchen, blowing her a kiss emoji before crawling into bed at the hotel he and his dad and Gaz were staying at in Belgium. The sun had set and soft stars twinkled in the dark canopy over its capital of Brussels. Each of them had their own beds, and Dib sighed a bit as he snuggled into his favorite pillow that he'd brought with him. It juuuust barely matched the texture he had begun to sort of enjoy. The texture of-

"Hello, Dib."

Dib's eyes popped open as he popped his glasses on from the bedtstand, seeing a PAK-less, smiling Senior standing in the doorway of his room. He closed it behind him, sitting on the bed as he warmly nodded at Dib. "My family's here for a holiday too. Incognito, naturally, but…I'm glad we got to meet." He tapped his belt, a holographic disguise wafting arond him, showing off a fairly tall human who had brown hair and a big "S" Superman t-shirt of blue and red on his chest with white khaki pants. He tapped it again, the hologram vanishing as Senior tilted his head a little to the side. "Sure been busy, huh?"

"Earth's crime and disease rate are near nonexistent now thanks to all the hard work we've done with what you left behind." Dib admitted. "And I'm feeling pretty good not having to worry about Zim. Though he somehow manages to send me text message from Venus. I've no idea how." He confessed, holding up his smartphone, which showed off a very, VERY furious looking Zim who was currently in the middle of a gigantic worm's guts, a glower on his features, having written "I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS" in the thing's blood on the back of the cave he was in. "No idea Venus had brain-sucking worms beneath the surface. Learn something new every day."

"Zim'll be fine. He…"

"Has no brain to suck out!" Dib finished, the two laughing at the same time as Dib rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling a little as Senior smiled warmly back at him.

"I admit, I really did miss talking to you, though. And…well…other things." Dib confessed sheepishly. "I guess that time I spent with you when I was…you know. Being…um…I guess what I'm trying to say is…"

"Dib? Are you asking me to eat you?" Senior inquired with a tilt of his head.

"If you…don't mind?" Dib asked nervously. "I mean, is your stomach gonna…you know…"

"Nope." Senior shook his head. "Our Internal PAKs are working just fine, and my belly hasn't changed a bit from when you were last in it." He added with a chuckle. "So…are you ready?"

Dib nodded, Senior smiling as he motioned for Dib to come closer. Dib scooched over to him on the bed, Senior's gloved, clawed hands tenderly lifting him up, towards his slowly opening jaws. In, past the zipper-esque teeth he went, being licked and lapped by the green-eyed communication officer as Senior savored his sweet flavor. No shrinking, no. Not this time. This time would be special. His lips were soon working over Dib's rather tiny neck, the Irken loving how husky and sweet little Dib was.

"Mmmmm." He softly moaned. It was like the best steak mixed with a delicious supply of cookies. Truly, nobody should be this delicious. His cheeks rippled as he eased more and more of Dib down, down into his undulating throat, bulging out his neck quite a bit. His upper chest was becoming freakishly distended as Dib sank lower, his upper arms and upper chest now eased into the yawning maw. Dib sighed, feeling his head sinking into the opening of the Irken's stomach, the tongue continuing to lap over his pajama-clad form.

Just like old times, he mused to himself, Senior's stomach becoming fat, bloated and bulging out as Dib's bare feet were licked all over. He tickled them with his tongue, making Dib giggle about before he gave a final, immense swallow. GLA-GLRRRPPP! Down, down Dib went, making Senior's tummy bloat out immensely as he laid in the hotel bed, thankful he'd fully locked the door so nobody could see this. He slowly rubbed and massaged over his fat belly, feeling little Dib settle in his stomach.

Dib was slightly curled up, but he was able to lie down on his side in the remarkably stretchy and expansive stomach. It was just as soft and cozy as he remembered it, and he could feel the tender beating of Senior's heart softly thumping in his ears as he laid within the stomach sack. He could feel Senior rubbing over his bulging gut, and hear Senior's voice cooing to him. "I'll give you my personal number Dib, if you'd like." Senior offered. "Whenever you're in the mood…call me. And I'll be there for anything you want. Even things like this."

"Are things at the colony going well?"

"Oh, yes. Skoodge loves working with the kids. And I'll be honest, he's a natural with them, just like Darth is. It's a bit of a shame we can't work with our own race's kids right now, but we're happy being here on Earth, free to do whatever we want. Including this sort of thing." He added, giving his belly a little shake before he heard a knock at the door. "Oh. Wanted to let you know. There was ONE other person who decided to go back to Earth. Minimoose is really loving influencing young minds but GIR really felt he couldn't leave. After all, all his favorite people are here. Especially…well…"

Senior walked over to the door, unlocking it and opening it up, letting the cheerily-beaming GIR inside as he then closed and locked it again, GIR grinning in delight as he rubbed over his own big, fat, amazingly enormous belly. "I'm gonna have a squishy!" He laughed.

"Deliciousness, as your sister found out, clearly runs in the family." Senior sniggered.

"Oh HA HA." Gaz grumbled from within the robo's tubby gut, the faint noise of her tablet PC echoing out from GIR's belly. "At least GIR'S gut has Wi-Fi." She groaned loudly.

Dib laughed himself to sleep.


	14. AU: Robot Reign or Best Sub Ever

**Author's Note: Have two more possible ways the story could have unfolded! I'm enjoying writing these little "what-ifs", especially the possibility of GIR being behind it all and not NEARLY so insane as they thought he was...**

Dib hadn't seen THIS coming. He'd expected Senior to hand over the keys to the last remaining Irken facilities on all those formerly-conquered planets. He'd foreseen Senior leaving Purple and Red unharmed and alive, just currently in some sugar mines below the capital. He'd even had an inkling that, deep down, Darth truly HAD been on their side all along, and hadn't been fully on board with Tak's ways, so even him stabbing her was more startling than shocking.

But what he'd never, EVER forseen happening...was the Massive being...absolutely untouched by everything. Everyone else had fallen to the rain, Senior giving Dib a final goodbye, admitting he had known, ALWAYS known what Dib and the others had been up to, had WANTED Dib to end the Irken race, so something better could be reborn from their failures. To see the Massive had just remained absolutely unharmed...

And then it happened. Then Dib felt a chill sink over him as it slowly, gently descended down, down, down onto the planet that had been struck with torrents of rain, and he shivered as the immense ramp sloooooowly lowered itself down from the Massive. Gaz felt a shudder stab into her spine as well and she gripped Dib tightly, eyes bulging in shock as THEY stepped out.

GIR. Minimoose. Zim's robotic servants looking so...satisfied and smug.

And Dib realized what was going on.

"You knew too?" He murmured, looking from Dib to Minimoose, as a quivering sensation filled his body and he nervously took a step back.

"Don't even bother running, "Mary"." GIR said cheerily. "Frankly, its insulting to think I've not anticipated your every move." He said, waving a small little metal hand in the air as Dib stopped backing up, and Gaz's eyes narrowed furiously at the little alien robot and his blue eyes. Blue. Not red, not...wild with dark fury, oh no. Calm, cool blue.

"NYEH." Minimoose squeaked out, Gaz growling at him.

"You'd ruined my plans for the Massive weeks in advance? How could you know what virus type I'd use? It was all on the roll of a dice, I was completely random in how I chose it!" She snapped at Minimoose as GIR shook his head back and forth, the little antannae atop his tiny, almost bowl-shaped skull flopping about.

"Oh, Gazzy, Gazzy, Gazzy! No organic's actions are ever of a **truly** random nature! With an advanced grasp of the mathematics of probability, which you then map onto a thorough apprehension of human psychology and the known dispositions of any given individual, why, that reduces the number of variables down to a very finite number! One of 34 techniques designed to refine randomly generated possibilities down to the smallest number of feasible variables!" GIR proclaimed.

Minimoose nodded in agreement, GIR then shrugging a bit. " **Buuuuuut** they're all really difficult and I wanted to focus on improving my baking so I just stuck a video camera on Dib's glasses." He added. "Microscopic, but it worked great!" He added, Minimoose turning on his belly, showing off a tiny little video screen that showed, sure enough, Dib looking in shock at himself. "It's on the far right hand side, a little crack you thought was caused by some falling debris in Australia and you didn't bother to replace the glasses, so it worked out fantastic for me!"

"What's all this **about**?" Dib wanted to know, looking confused as GIR cheekily grinned.

"Oh, that's easy! With all the Irkens gone, WE can take over everything and start gobblin' you up now, and usin' you as batteries!" GIR cheerily laughed.

"...we?" Gaz asked.

"HUPHUPHUPHUP!" Hordes upon hordes of SIR units stomping out of the massive, all gathering right behind GIR, hundreds upon **hundreds** of the things all saluting, all with mouths like GIR, grinning cheerily and toothily as they faced their glorious commander. "SIR!"

"Wow. Your idea was despicable, twisted and sick." Zim remarked as he stared in surprise at all of them, his tiny frame still in the capsule he'd been trapped in for so long as he looked from GIR to Minimoose to the SIR units. "...I clearly rubbed off on you more than I thought!"

"I know, right?" GIR laughed happily, picking Zim up and bouncing him off his feet like a hacky-sack.

"OW-OW-OW-OW-I'veneverbeenprouderofyou-OWOWOW!"

"Wait a minute. Skoodge was supposed to be with you and all the smeets." Dib murmured, his face going pale.

"Oh, yes, he didn't much like the idea of me trying to raise an entire new generation of Irkens to be desserts for me and my new army." GIR admitted. "But, well..." He chuckled in delight, clapping his hands together. "That's a problem easily remedied."

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...

"I don't know what hurts more." Skoodge muttered, he, Gaz and Dib stuck in the kitchen on the Massive, coated in a fine white wine sauce, veggies stuffed into places that _clearly_ were never meant to have veggies put in as one SIR unit nonchalantly began to get the oven preheated. "...the pain...or the humiliation." He grunted out, the cook giving him a glaring look.

"OY! Quiet, piggy-wiggy, or I put the apple in EARLY!"

"If only my PAK still had those robo-legs." Skoodge added with a sigh, hanging his tubby head as Dib and Gaz glanced nervously at each other.

"Uh, you don't really wanna eat us!" Dib spoke up. "We're, like...super stringy!"

"I dunno, I think your enormous head looks like it's got some great meat on it."

"MY HEAD'S! NOT! BIG!"

GLOMPGH. The cook stuffed an apple into his mouth, whacking Dib over the head with a wooden spoon, Dib grumbling darkly. "You get the apple FIRST, bigheadboy! Now shut up and stew in that fine marinade we've prepared for you!" the cook sniggered, the poor trio lying in their big metal pans. "Then you'll be roasted up at a fine 350 degrees for twenty minutes and served on a bed of greens for our glorious robotic overlord!"

"More like "Garbage-Infested-Robot"!" Gaz grunted.

GLOMPGH!

"YOU get the apple too!"

"Ha ha, I get the apple laaaaast!" Skoodge said, unable to resist getting out a bit of gloating at seeing Gaz having one stuffed into HER big mouth as well.

They would be the first, of course...but not the last. Oh no. Robot life would soon overwhelm Earth, and soon...the galaxy, using organics as a fuel source. Though GIR always had a hankering for humans.

"No species should be this delicious!" He insisted, Dib grunting in aggravation, stuck inside his stomach 10 years into the reign of the robot, a dark glower on his features, the shrunk-up human trapped inside GIR's tummy, stuffed down along with two dozen other unfortunates who were all cramped up in the robot's stomach, ball gags in their mouths to shut them up. "Oh, if only those delightful Wachowski siblings knew how close their vision of the future was to the truth!"

"I stopped enjoying the Matrix after Zim arrived on Earth anyway." Dib grumbled as Zim, meanwhile, being lubed up with butter and prepared to be served as a movie treat along with an Icee, grinned in delight as he was coated in the greasy stuff.

"Zim will take what victories he can get!" Zim proclaimed dramatically.

* * *

Dib knocked on the door of the new substitute teacher's office, grateful Ms. Bitters was finally, at long last, gone after all this time. Mostly because the longer he'd stared at her boyfriend the more he felt-

 _"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"_

SMACK. He smacked his face a bit, shaking his head back and forth. Geez. So many tentacles in so many places. And why did the guy have to be half-naked? Still, at least he'd not gotten it as bad as Zim had. THAT moron had actually stared head-on at the teacher as soon as he'd entered the room and hadn't _stopped_ staring and had actually run after the thing, trying to get it to join him in his quest for world domination.

Well, Zim was now eating paste in the School for Crazy Boys. For how long, Dib wasn't sure, but Dib figured he had at least a good month until Zim was calm enough to say something other than creepy phrases in a dead language. Other kids had been affected at various levels, himself included...well...

ONE kid hadn't. Nick, the kid in the back of their class who had undergone HORRIFIC experiments at Zim's hands, had just begun chuckling a bit and had nonchalantly walked by Zim in the hallway, saying "Amateur" as he headed off to gym class. Whatever Nick had seen when Zim had stuck that probe into his skull had done him wonders, evidently. Wonders too great and terrible for Dib to comprehend.

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.

Dib slowly opened up the door, heading inside, seeing the very nice, green-eyed young twenty-something teacher at his desk as he nonchalantly licked on some Lik a Maid candy, turning to look at Dib. Dib was learning much, much more under the gentle tutelage of Senior than he ever had under Ms. Bitters. Plus, Mr. Senior gave out Pixie Stix candy and Lik-a-Maids if you got "A's" on your tests. Ms. Bitters would just give you a condescending look. And, on top of that, he had been putting in extra toilet paper into the bathrooms! And since the bathrooms were so grody, this bit of compassion was a godsend.

"Um, Mr. Senior? You said you wanted to see me?" Dib inquired.

"Absolutely!" Mr. Senior said, swallowing down the Lik-A-Maid and grinning toothily. "So listen up, Dib. Here's the thing." He pulled out a small grade book, holding it up. "You are getting the best grades in the class, without a doubt. You're one smart cookie. And I'd like you to help me with something now that Zim isn't going to be an issue anymore. And in return, I'll help you."

"What sort of something?" Dib asked, frowning a bit. He was a bit nervous about this. It sounded...sketchy.

"I know Torque's been trying to get you to do his homework for him. Would you like me to take care of that for you?"

"You mean give him detention?"

"No, I was thinking of eating him alive." His teacher said with a shrug, Dib's mouth gaped open as Senior then pressed the big belt buckle he had upon his belt...and with a shimmering shine, a veil seemed to lift from his form. Now he was human no more. Now he was an Irken, an Irken with spiky antannae, green eyes, the attire of an Irken communication's officer upon his frame as he nonchalantly took out a small ray gun, aiming it at Dib.

TSSSEWWW!

Dib gasped, looking down at himself, realizing his form was getting tinier and tinier, he was SHRINKING! Senior nonchalantly strolled over, plucking Dib up, grinning toothily at him...before seeing Dib was quivering, even crying a bit. Thankful the door behind Dib was closed, Senior laid down in the chair. "Dib, c'mon, d-don't cry. What's wrong?"

"Y-You're g-gonna...k-kill me, a-aren't you?"

"Noooo. I'd NEVER do that. You're innocent, Dib." Senior insisted. "And I like you. I want to do something nice for you. I **would** have gotten rid of Zim, but having to see that... **thing** that came into school fixed that problem for you for quite a while, so I want to help you with the bullies who pick on you. I don't much like people like Torque." He added with a frown. "...people who abuse their power to pick on those lower than them. People without integrity. Without morals. Well..." He sighed. "That's not true. EVERYONE has morals. Folks like Torque just shove them to the side whenever they feel like it. They treat them like...your species treats a fancy watch or shirt. You only really put it on for special occassions when you ought to have it with you far more often."

Dib wiped his eyes on his arm, Senior verrry gently reaching down, Dib feeling the black-gloved hand pat his head. "I'm not going to hurt you, Dib. I only want to hurt the people who deserve it. Do you want me to make sure Torque never hurts you?"

"But you wanna eat him!" Dib said, looking astounded. "That sounds like hurting!"

"It shan't hurt a bit." Senior insisted cheerily. "Here. I'll show you."

He lifted Dib up by his legs, holding him over his jaws, and then geeeently began easing the kid down, Dib shaking a bit in fear, the wormlike tongue slowly snaking up, tickling at Dib's face in a playful bit of licking. SLRRRP. He tasted over the cheeks and nose, and then Senior drew him down, down, deeper into the jaws.

Soon Senior's tongue was wrapped around Dib's head and upper body, the kid sliding down, down, onto the tongue. "Mmmmmmmmm." Senior softly moaned, closing his eyes. Dib was so sweet! And a bit spicy, too. His taste buds were dancing with joy at the lovely flavor the child had. His throat faintly undulated as Dib slid deeper, deeper down towards it, welcoming the kid inside it.

The lower body of Dib was soon sinking into Senior's maw, the tongue lapping and lathering over Dib's frame as Senior kept happily moaning. "Yummy!" Senior laughed, tilting his head back, Dib sliding down, down, down! He sank through the throat, Senior's tongue lapping over the booted feet until, at last, Dib was deposited within the soft, fleshy chamber that was Senior's belly. It was so oddly...warm. So soft, so...welcoming. Being in here didn't seem so bad.

"Wait...y-you're trying to manipulate me, this...this isn't normal..."

"My PAK regulates my stomach, Dib. You'll be totally unharmed. I just want to help you. I think your race, and you, can do amazing things. And I want to HELP you do that." Senior insisted, Dib feeling him softly pat his belly, and heard him lick over his lips. "How about it?"

"What do you want in return?" Dib asked.

"Well...being the way I am, I could never, **ever** fit in with the current Empire. But there's a _lot_ of us who feel this way, and well...Earth's got a lot more to offer. If you help us find a good home here, help us fit in, we'll give back to you." Senior offered. "You scratch our back, we'll scratch yours. Besides, Earth has all the artists I love." He added with a chuckle. "Especially ska. I'd never **lived** until I heard ska."

"Oh God, we've got IRKEN HIPSTERS now." Dib muttered.

"C'mon, admit it, you were a total No Doubt fan too." Senior insisted.

"Until 'Hey Baby', sure!"

"Well, that goes without saying. Oh, Gwen Stefani, taken from us too fast..." Senior sighed wistfully. "So then! Do we have a deal, Dib?"

"...okay." Dib admitted with a sigh. "I guess you're nicer than Zim. You promise you won't really hurt Torque or anyone else?"

"Nope!"

"What if I want them a LITTLE hurt?"

"Well...DO you?" Senior quietly asked, his tone becoming contemplative.

"...I don't know yet." Dib honestly confessed, rubbing over the back of his neck.

"Well...think about that." Senior said warmly. "And just relax. I'll let you out at your house soon." He added, Dib curling up within the confines of the Irken's belly, wondering if maybe he wanted Torque to be just...a little bit digested? Maybe just down to his briefs? And then unshrunk and left out in the hall before the bell rang for everyone to take the bus home? They'd NEVER BELIEVE HIM if he tried to tell them what happened. Hell, Dib barely would have believed it himself.

Meanwhile, on the Massive...

"AAAAHHH!"

Red was shaking Purple back and forth, eyes bulging, fire smoking up from the control consoles. The bathrooms had flooded, foul cess spilling out from the toilets into the hallways, people were howling and racing about in a panic, the communication panels sparking and hissing as Red's antannae quivered about.

"How did they get off the Massive and **nobody** noticed?! Where are the senior staff!?"

"I dunno, they went out to get me donuts and never came back!"

"Did nobody do their job in the **week** they've been gone?!" Red howled angrily. "Why has nobody picked up their slack?"

"It's not their job! They're not encoded to do that sort of thing on those levels!" Purple remarked with a shrug. "And on the top floor of the Massive where we are, we have our own personal servants to take care of the stuff **we** want, so it didn't matter that the lower levels weren't getting their bathrooms taken care of or the calls made or-"

"Nobody thought to CALL US?" Red asked, glancing about, people freezing as he glowered at them all. "Why did none of you call your Tallest to let them know the senior staff had just up and run away!?" He snarled angrily.

"Because you would have tossed us out of an airlock if we'd told you." One of them finally spoke up.

"I would NOT!" Red said, stamping his foot on the ground, pouting furiously...before he promptly ripped a chair right out of the ground, screws and all, and tossed it clear through the air at the random level 4 guard, who "eeped"...before he was embedded, the chair included, in the wall opposite Red. "Now then! NOBODY leaves this level of the Massive until all this is fixed! And where's the friggin' TOILET PAPER?!"


	15. AU: Dib Does Irk, And Does Zim In

**Back during "Dib Does Irk", I'd proposed a scenario that would have seen Zim potentially die. This is the idea I had in mind for what would have happened HAD he actually perished...I thought it a good little extra to share with all of you. Enjoy!**

At long last, the Massive had reached Irk, and Dib was treated to a full view of the planet and its odd alien landscape. The world had long stretches of flat ground, with patches of thick red, earthen tones over gritty, faintly desert-esque terrain. In addition to that, huge chunks of the planet had deeply vibrant, tight-cut orange grass that stretched for miles and miles over the planet, going off into a seemingly infinite horizon. There were few valleys and mountains, though there was, however, an enormous capitol city in the center of the planet.

Tall skyscrapers rose up, deep purple and red in color, Senior letting out a "CHUH" sound of aggravation, rolling his green eyes as he strolled along the steely sidewalk. There were enormous domed structures that Dib could see into the glassy roofs of, which contained, from the looks of it, nothing but food. Snacks, snacks of a hundred different brands, some from Earth, even!

Other buildings were currently in the middle of being closed, with big sticker tape, ugly and yellow, draped over it that read "Closed" again and again. Various very tiny little Irken babies barely bigger than a doll were being led out of a few of them by kindly-looking, white-robed consulars, all of whom had the same little necklaces that Dib had seen on the psychic, Darth. They were helping the Irken tykes along, a few hovering them about their heads as if they were moons and the consular was a mother planet, others carrying them in their arms as tenderly as possible, and a few had simply gotten little shopping carts and put the babes within.

"Faster, faster!" One of them cried out, standing atop one of his little baby compatriot's shoulders, banging his tiny fist on the cart as the blue-eyed consular rolled her eyes and pushed the cart a bit faster, Senior leading Dib towards what was very clearly one of the ONLY parks in the city. A very small park barely larger than his school's playground, but luckily for them, Tak was there as well, nonchalantly holding up her hand, showing off a very nice glimmering golden ring on it.

She was showing off this fine jewelry to about a dozen little Irken children, all of whom were listening in as she relayed her tale, and it took a moment, as the sun of Irk bathed down upon them all in an orange sky, for Dib to realize...

Zim. Zim was now stuck on the golden ring like he was an overgrown jewel, uselessly squirming, held in place by little golden clawlike bands that tightly gripped him and held him to the ring. He glowered darkly up at Dib and Senior as Tak smiled at them. "I've got some time off so I thought I'd tell these little smeets about the most pathetic Irken in our race."

"How goes your glorious new job as the manager of the best military force in the galaxy?" Senior asked with a little chuckle as Tak gave him a bit of a playful salute.

"I've been having all the troops running hard training drills, we've shut down the smeet factories to ensure there's no more test tube children, we're making sure Irkens cut down on their PAK use to get them adjusted to a future where they'll BE no more PAKs, and we're changing the power grid to make better use of solar and wind power over nuclear energy. In fact, the capitol's the last place with such a facility." Tak insisted. "We're going back to the way it ought to be, nice and natural and replenishible and utterly-self-sufficient."

"Good. Dib wanted to get samples of our soil and air and the sunshine Irk is blessed with for some testing. He's said he's worried that cleaning up the environment of Earth might mean an increase in negative solar radiation that will severely damage Irken flesh. So he wants a baseline from our planet to compare to his own."

"Oh yes, good idea, we wouldn't want to clean the atmosphere only to find that doing so would cook us alive." Tak remarked calmly as she flexed her clawed digits some more, Zim angrily squirming around and hissing at them.

"You will let Zim go immediately, you filthy kisgaree!" He snarled at Tak.

"What part of "you're stuck there" didn't register in your big, swollen, egotistical head?" Tak inquired with a laugh as the smeets around them giggled, a few poking Zim, making him snap his teeth at them as an idea then came to Tak and she gave Dib a look. "You know, Dib...I've an idea. Zim's caused you almost as much pain as me. Why don't YOU have some fun with him? In fact, I've actually begun to get...BORED with torturing Zim like this." She admitted, waving the

Zim-ring about, tossing it up and down in the air, making Zim groan and gasp out in pain.

"OOOF! OOOGH! OWWW!" He yelled out, flopping into her palm over and over every time she tossed him up.

"Here." She caaarefully peeled his tiny frame out and gave him to Dib, who plucked Zim up by the back of his shirt, looking Zim over as Zim flailed his tiny arms about in vain. "We Irkens have had our PAKs adjusted, we can eat humans without fear of really harming them. But, well...if an IRKEN was shrunk, nothing they could do. Especially not Zim, nothing on his PAK is working but the life support, so..." She evilly smirked. "If you want, Dib...go ahead. Get rid of Zim once and for all. Wouldn't it be fitting to have your greatest enemy eaten?"

Zim turned pale. His eyes bulged. "Y-You wouldn't dare! You wouldn't dare eat me!"

"Oooh, you would HATE that, wouldn't you, Zim? Eaten by the very being you tried to kill for years? By a filthy huuuuuuman." She laughed in her distinct, British accented voice, throwing her head back and cackling. "How deliciously ironic! Emphasis on delicious. Go on, Dib...help yourself."

Dib stared down at Zim's now small, shivering, shuddering frame. It would be so...so easy. No PAK legs to jab at him. No shield to defend the Irken from stomach acids. This time there'd be no escape. And Dib's "finishing move" really WOULD be a finishing move.

He lifted Zim up, his body quivering. The collection of the samples could wait. Nobody here knew why he really wanted them. They were totally bought into the idea he just wanted to help the Irkens, he could collect the samples ANYTIME, when would he get a chance like this? And after all, after being swallowed by an Irken himself, maybe it was time HE do the swallowing. Time HE dominated Zim for once, fully, truly had Zim's life in his hands.

It'd be so...so easy.

He found his tongue slurping over Zim's tiny frame. He tasted so good. Like a lovely little lime hard candy with a faintly sizzling aftertone that danced on his tongue like pop rocks. Dib could hear his heart thumping in his ears, feel his blood racing. Why not do it? Why not? After EVERYTHING Zim had done?

...so easy. So simple. And Zim would be gone forever. He couldn't say Zim didn't deserve it...

...Dib's mouth opened.

Poor Zim wasn't even given the chance to scream before he got tossed in, sent plummeting into the sea of wet flesh below, his entire body fitting nicely into Dib's jaws. The others stared, Senior's eyes bulging wide in shock as Dib had the whole of Zim trapped within his maw, Dib's cheeks somewhat puffed out, almost looking like a squirrel as everyone just stared, mouth agape before Tak spoke up.

"Did he...did he really just…eat him?" She mumbled out.

A flood of drool from the tasty, faintly husky flavor of the irritating Irken within his jaws made some saliva dribble out from Dib's lips as he nonchalantly swirled the poor flailing, screeching Zim about. He swished him from cheek to cheek, closing her eyes. "Mmmmm." He moaned aloud. It was almost like a faintly scaly jawbreaker or a gumball! Not bad at all. Still…as enjoyable as this was, he wanted to get on it with, because as tasty as Zim was...Dib didn't want to give Zim a chance to try and fight back.

GLRRRB-GGLRRRRPPP! Dib gave a big, huge swallow, and down, down into his esophagus the poor screeching Zim went, his frame a-squirming about, thrashing around, trying in vain to break free as Senior shook his head, watching all this unfold. "Yes. Yes, he just ate him." He murmured, and although his tone was normal, a faint...cold disappointment echoed within his voice as they watched the big, noticeable bulge in Dib throat that Zim made before it slid down, down into the hungry young Dib's gut. He rubbed over it slowly, smirking in delight, then letting out a distinctly raucous and wet belch.

"BRAAAAAAP. Oops. 'Scuse me. Musta been something I ate." He chuckled. "Frankly, Zim...nobody should be this delicious." He added with a laugh, Senior groaning, shaking his head as Tak sniggered in delight. The communications officer knelt down, pulling out a containment capsule which sprang forth from his PAK. He handed the glassy, square-like capsule to Dib, who, smiling, scooped up big chunks of natural Irken soil and put it into the little jar, Senior sighing as he looked at Dib's gut, and the faint squirming and screaming coming from within.

"AAAHHH! LEMME OUT, LEMME OUT!" Zim was hollering. "Human! I'm going to DISSOOOOOLVE YOOOOOOU for this travesty!"

"Actually I think it's DIB that's gonna be dissolving you." Tak said with a dark, sneering chuckle.

"Will this be sufficient for a soil test, Dib Membrane?" Senior quietly asked.

"Oh, I think so." Dib said with a nod, cringing as she acknowledged Senior had referred to him by his FULL name. Oh boy. People didn't call you by your full name or by your last name unless things were very serious, or they were positively angry at them. "Uh...I'm just gonna, um, you know. Need to get some good air samples and solar energy samples too. The air will be easy, but to test what your sun puts out will be tricky."

"I've got someone who can assist you. I will call Bob here to talk to you." Senior told him. "Tak, you stay with him, I'll go call Bob. I need to...do a recon sweep of the capitol." He muttered, making his way away from Dib, leaving the young lad alone, Dib looking down at his stomach, cringing a bit as he glanced back up in the direction Senior was walking.

He had...perhaps...made a big mistake.

…

…

…

...Dib was tossing and turning in his bed, panting heavily, sweating in his sleep. He was being assaulted in his dreams by the visage of Zim...who had long since perished, digesting away. The nightmarish frame of Zim was tormenting him in his sleep, mockingly laughing, his form melting and reforming all over again as he kept Dib pinned to the floor...bits and pieces of him dribbling down over the terrified and screeching Dib.

"What's the matter, Dib? I thought you'd be happy to see me dissolving like this!" He sneered, Dib's face filled with absolute terror and shock...as one of Zim's eyeballs slid out of its socket, flopping down, plopping onto Dib's chest. "Isn't this what you wanted, Dib?! ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!"

"G-Geeeet off meeeee!" Dib screeched out. "Get away from me, get away!" He howled, shoving Zim back as hard as he could...popping awake, finding himself in bed, covered in sweat yet icy cold as Senior walked over to him from the doorway, shaking his head back and forth.

"I heard you screaming from down the hall. What on Irk is happening?"

"It's...it's this awful nightmare I was having." Dib moaned, covering his face, putting his glasses on from a nearby desk as he shuddered and quaked.

"What was it like?"

"The dream was like...it was like...have you ever had one of those dreams? Where you THINK you've woken up, but...you haven't? Like it's just part of the nightmare and you're still in it?" Dib whispered out, clinging to his black hair.

"I'm afraid not." Senior said with a shrug, shaking his head back and forth. "But...well, let me tell you something."

"What?"

"I think that you're gonna be experiencin' a LOT of that from now on." the green-eyed, green-clothed communications officer told Dib...as his head fell off and flopped into Dib's lap. "You, Dib...have simply GOT to get your head on straight." He laughed. "Pull yourself together."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

This time Dib awoke to find Senior gently holding him in a tight hug, Senior gently stroking over his head, the white-eyed Darth patting Dib's back "Shhhh. Shhhhhhh. Shhhhhhhhhhh. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay." The Consular tenderly intoned, as a calm, soothing balm began to slowly bathe over Dib's frame. "It's just a dream, Dibbun. Just a dream. There-there. Relax. We are here for you, little one."

"I KILLED him!" Dib was screaming, his voice hoarse, tears brimming in his ."No, I-I fucking MURDERED him, Senior! I've murdered somebody! He couldn't even fight back and I just ATE him! I ATE HIM! I ATE HIM I ATE HIM I...I…" His sobbing and wailing dissolved away into barely-restrained crying. Not even Darth's psychic soothing touch was fully keeping his emotions at check. Darth shook his head at Senior, a concerned, almost frightened look on his own face.

"I can't help him." He told Senior. "I simply can't. But you can."

Senior took in a long, deep breath, and then gently put Dib's hands in his lap, holding the young lad's cheek. "Dib. It's okay that you feel so awful. So sick. So horrified. It shows your conscience isn't gone. I was worried it might be. Worried you might be too far gone, but...I'm glad to see you're not. There's still hope for you, Dib. I still believe in you."

"I don't know if I can believe in myself."

"When I get like this, do you know what I do?" Senior asked, Dib looking back at him. "I go back to what originally inspired me. What originally made me into what I am. Do that. It'll help. And I know what else will make you feel better." He added. "Tomorrow, I'm taking you out to eat. And I'm gonna bring my family along. I think you'll really like my wife." He added gently, giving Dib a soft smile. "But remember, it's okay to feel bad about all this. And it's even more okay to TALK about how you feel about it. People aren't meant to be alone. They need others to talk to about how they feel. Believe me. I know." He told Dib with a sigh. "Now...you want to maybe go get yourself some milk or something and try to head to sleep again? I can escort you to the cafeteria."

"...okay." Dib muttered, sniffling a bit,, wiping his nose on his pajama sleeves as Senior helped him out of bed, and off down the hall, staying close to the communications officer. "...you're too nice to me."

"Dib, I've read all about you, and I took the time to get to know you. You've not had people being NEARLY nice enough to you for YEARS." Senior insisted. "The way I see it?...I'm just making up for lost time." He remarked with a little chuckle. "Now then...white or chocolate milk?"

"Chocolate."

"Good man."


End file.
